I wasn’t sure how she understood because I sure as hell didn’t.
“I was so scared, but never did I stop loving you, not for one second,” she said. “I wished I could love you a little harder so you could understand how I felt about you.”
She loved me? Did she just say she loved me?
“Over the last week, I wanted to see you more than I wanted anything. I was going crazy wondering how you were doing. When you wouldn’t see me . . .”
I closed my lips over hers, swallowing the rest of the words and all the hurt I’d caused her. “I’m sorry,” I repeated over and over on her lips. “I tried, April. I tried to resist falling for you because I thought it was what was best for you. But seeing you now, I just can’t deny it anymore. It might be selfish, and I might hurt you again, but I can’t do this without you. I have no idea what I’m doing. There’s Robbie . . .”
“He’ll be okay,” she said, that smile I loved on her face. “He’s been wonderful since we brought him home. Even if he has a hard time at first with the news, he’ll come around.”
“But do you want to do this, April? Not only do I come with a whole lot of emotional baggage, now I come with a child, too.”
April caressed down my neck and shoulders, stopping on my forearms. “I love you, Beau Anderson. You don’t have to say it back. I don’t expect that, but I want you to know that no matter what, I love you. Whether you leave me standing in here alone, or you take me into your life right there in the living room, I love you. I’m yours. Nothing you can do or say will change that.”
I stared at her, blinking as I processed her words. Here I was, this messed up man who had gone clinically insane in front of her, and she was declaring her love for me. I thought back to what Dr. Knight had said, coupled with the doctors and Natalie, and I knew what I’d been feeling all along. Even though I’d denied it, wanted to ignore it, and wanted to push her away forever with the thought I was doing what was best for her.
She took my silence as something entirely different than it was, and she tried to step around me. I held on to her, not letting her pass. “April.” I stopped her. I framed her face with both my cast and my free hand, forcing her to meet my gaze. “I thought I’d come here and end things with you. I thought it was what was best for both of us after what I put you through. But I can’t do it, April, because I love you, too. That scares the hell out of me and I’m not sure I know what I’m doing, but I love you.”
She gasped, and I swallowed it with my lips, taking her the way I’d wanted to since I first laid eyes on her hours before. My tongue dipped into her mouth, and I pressed her against the counter, my desire for her evident as I devoured her. She met me kiss for kiss, tongue for tongue as we reconnected, pouring all our pent up feelings and anxiety into each other.
When I pulled back, April was beaming. “Do you . . . really mean it?”
I laughed, and she gasped again, her hand to her mouth. “What?”
“I love hearing you laugh,” she said. “It’s beautiful.”
“Not as beautiful as you. And I mean every word. Now, will you do me the honor of joining me as I tell my son he’s mine?”
She nodded, a shy look on her face as she wrapped her arm around mine. I sensed her eyes on me the entire time we walked, but I all of a sudden felt invincible.
When April and I walked hand in hand into the living room, Natalie’s face lit up. Robbie noticed and smiled at us, too, wondering what he was missing. I could tell he didn’t get why Natalie was so happy.
“Sorry to keep you waiting.” I settled next to Robbie again. Natalie had gotten up and was now sitting across from us. April sat on the other side of Robbie so we were surrounding him. I put my arm on the back of the couch and April laced her fingers with mine behind Robbie.
I heard a small sob, and I turned to Natalie. She waved me away, holding her hand over her mouth to keep herself controlled.
I turned back to Robbie. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
Robbie tipped his face up so he was looking directly into mine. My heart skipped a beat as I saw myself in his eyes. “First, I wanted to say how sorry I am that I got upset the last time I saw you. I wasn’t myself that day.”
He nodded. “I get it. Remember, I told you I feel that way sometimes, too?”
I released April’s hand so I could touch Robbie’s instead. He didn’t flinch, so I took it as a good sign. “Yes, I know you do. I try hard for that not to happen, but it sometimes does. I wanted you to know I’m sorry, and I hope you realize it had nothing to do with you.”