I nodded, not trusting my voice. I needed advice. My head was all messed up from this week’s events and Beau’s refusal to see me. Maybe I needed to talk to a psychologist, too. I opened the door and walked into the house, hoping to avoid Natalie seeing how upset I was. I’d never felt so raw and broken in my entire life.
I left Natalie in the living room with Trent and the rest of the counselors and made my way to the bedroom where Robbie was. He knew he was going somewhere, according to Trent, just not where. When I opened the door, his eyes met mine and he smiled.
“April!” Since I’d been visiting him every day this week, he’d opened up to me. Hopefully, that wouldn’t change with what I was going to tell him now.
“Hey, Robbie. So you know how you’re going to a new home?”
His eyes dropped. “Yeah.” He kicked the toe of his shoe against the rail of the bed. “I’m scared.”
I crouched next to him, so he lifted his eyes. “You don’t have to be scared, Robbie. You know why?”
His big eyes widened. “Why?”
“Because you’re coming to my house.”
His mouth opened in a little o. “Your house?”
I nodded. “With me and Natalie.”
“Natalie? Will Beau be there?”
God, I couldn’t wait until Robbie knew the truth. “He’s still in the hospital, buddy.”
“He’s still sick? Can I see him? Is he going to die?” His little lip wavered, and tears shone in his eyes.
I thought of Beau, standing on the edge of the bridge looking at me, his eyes dead inside as he went over the side. As long as I lived, I’d never forget that.
“He can’t have visitors right now, but he’s doing okay. He should be out soon, and then you can see him.”
Robbie smiled. “Why do I get to live with you? Are you going to adopt me?” Hope shone in his adorable brown eyes.
“Natalie and I are going to take care of you for right now because we both think you’re an awesome kid.” Please don’t ask me any more questions. I can’t break your heart, and I can’t tell you about Beau.
He stared at me for so long I wondered if he saw right through my charade. But when he smiled and grabbed his bag, relief spread through me. “Awesome. Can we go now? Do I get my own room?”
I thought of the room Natalie and I had set up, mostly blue with some red accents. We figured we’d let him tell us what else he wanted in there. “You sure do, buddy.”
Robbie ran ahead, spotting Natalie. She smiled at him and then at me. I nodded my head, and she took his hand, leading us out of the group home.
If I had anything to do with it at all, this would be the last time Robbie saw the walls of any foster home.
“I need your help,” I said, watching the blades of the ceiling fan rotate. It was time for me to ask for assistance. I hadn’t been able to sleep a wink in over a week, replaying that day over and over again in my exhausted mind. And now that Robbie was in the house, I was a nervous wreck making sure he was okay.
Robbie had been here three days, and he was adjusting well. He was coming out of his shell. The band had taken him to that music store that was closing and he’d gotten to play guitar with Johnny and sing with him and Bex. He’d tried out banging on some drums they had there. They’d said he had natural talent. Imagine that. Natalie had been stuck to him like glue, and while he didn’t understand it, he had accepted it. We hadn’t seen any signs of mental distress, but I still couldn’t relax. I needed Beau to get out of that place so we could make things right, and so we could tell Robbie what he was doing with us. He asked about Beau daily, but, of course, we didn’t get into why he wasn’t back yet. Robbie was smart and had been through a lot, though, and I had a feeling he knew we weren’t being entirely truthful.
“What’s the matter?” My dad’s voice was immediately concerned, and I guess he had reason to be. I hadn’t told him or my mom a single thing that was going on with me, and there was a lot to tell.
I took a deep breath. “It’s been a terrible week.”
“April, you don’t sound okay at all. What’s going on? Is it work?”
I hadn’t worked since all of this happened, with the exception of the emergency hearing for Robbie. Who knew if I’d still have a job after all this, but I couldn’t worry about that right now. “No. It’s not. It’s about Beau.”
“Are you home?”
“Yes.”
“Your mom and I are coming over. We will be there in fifteen minutes.”
I was never so glad that my dad was off today. I paced the living room while I waited, glad that Natalie and Robbie were out. They’d hired a tutor to assess where Robbie was at in school, so she had taken him there. My stomach was in knots, and I knew I looked like hell. My pants hung on me; my hair was in a messy ponytail, and I had no makeup on. Yet, I couldn’t make myself care.