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Snared(65)

By:LL Collins


You’re a fucking monster, just like him, the voices screamed in my head. This is what you deserve. To be locked up like the animal you are. What did you think, that you were going to have a psycho’s blood running through you and not become just like him? You deserve to die. I hate you. I can’t even stand looking at you.

My chest heaved, and I pulled at the restraints. Hell no, I wasn’t being locked up like some fucking animal again. Flashes of me standing in the middle of the road popped into my memory. What the . . . ? What had I done? All of a sudden, I saw water rushing toward me and screams from behind me. April’s face filled my mind, and I groaned. What was the last thing I remembered? Riding go-karts with April . . . and Robbie. I furrowed my brow. Something was nagging me, a memory that wouldn’t quite come to the surface. Was it about April or Robbie?

Holy fucking shit. How long had I been here? Where was everyone? I’d done something wrong, which is what got me into the psych ward of the hospital. I fought to remember, but only little bits and pieces came to me. I needed someone to give me answers, and right fucking now.

I jerked at the restraints, wincing at the pain my body was in. When I couldn’t get free, I began shouting. Someone needed to tell me what I was doing here.

Before long, the door swung open, and a doctor and nurse came in. “Finally,” I complained.

The doctor walked up to the side of my bed, making notes on a chart.

“What am I doing here?”

The nurse and the doctor exchanged a knowing glance. “Why don’t you tell me what you remember.”

I hated this fucking game. It was a shrink’s way of getting you to talk. “Stop the shit and tell me. How long have I been here?”

He flipped the chart closed. “You were brought in yesterday.”

“What? I’ve been out of it for a whole day? What the hell? What happened to my hand? Can you take these damn restraints off me?”

“Sorry, Beau, we can’t take them off yet. Now that you’re awake, though, we can start your therapy sessions.”

“Therapy? I’ll see my shrink at home. I need to get the hell out of here. My sister will be wondering where I am.” Natalie. She would be sick with worry.

“Your sister is here. She’s in the waiting room.”

“What? Am I at home?”

“You’re in Orlando,” the nurse answered. “Your sister has been here since right after they brought you in.”

“What happened?” My anger dissipated. I was terrified of hearing the answer, but I needed to know.

“We’ll let your sister know you’re awake, but you won’t be able to see her yet.”

“Why not?”

“I’m Dr. Viola, and I’m the attending psychiatrist. I and my colleague, Dr. Grant, will be conducting your therapy while you’re in our inpatient program. Once we feel you are stable enough to see your sister and your girlfriend, we will let you know.”

Stable enough? I wasn’t stable? Well, no shit. That must be why I was bound to my bed. My girlfriend. My girlfriend? April was here? I closed my eyes. Oh, God. What had I done in front of her? What did she know? And after what she must know now, why was she still here?

“My girlfriend is here?”

Dr. Viola nodded. “She came in with you, from what I know.”

“Fuck.”

“I’ll be back.” He turned and walked out the door.

For the second time in my life, I had been committed to a mental institution. This time, though, I didn’t remember what had gotten me here. I closed my eyes, searching my muddled brain for any information I could remember. Embarrassment flamed as I realized what Dr. Viola had said. April had been with me when I’d come in.

My mind started the video reel of what I remembered. April and I were making love and deciding to try a relationship together. I came to Orlando to spend time with her and Robbie. At the thought of him, a nagging started in the back of my head again. Something had to do with him, but it wouldn’t come to me. We’d taken him to ride go karts. It had been my first time, and it had been more fun than I could’ve ever imagined, being there with him and April.

We’d taken him back to the group home after that. She’d been so happy; her face had been radiant. I remembered admiring her beautiful skin as she drove, wondering how the hell I’d gotten so lucky to have a woman like April interested in me.

Nothing else would come. “Goddammit!” I shouted to the empty room. I wasn’t allowed to see my sister, and they wouldn’t fill in the blanks for me. I slammed my head into the pillow, feeling the sting of tears behind my eyes. A memory of my head hitting water caused me to still, waiting to see if more would come.