Snared(39)

She was back in work attire, this time in a pair of tan dress pants and a white button-down blouse. Her hair was pulled up off her neck. I wanted to kiss her slender neck until she writhed under my touch.

Whoa. What the hell kind of thought was that? There would be none of that happening today.

“Hey, guys! Just in time! Everyone is so excited. Come on in.” April smiled at the band and then her eyes found mine. “Good morning, Beau.”

I hung back as everyone else kept walking. April glanced over her shoulder and then back at me. I watched in awe as she kissed her thumb and touched my bottom lip with it. Before I could recognize I was moving, I grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to me. All my doubts and reasons why I couldn’t be around her flew out the window.

When her chest hit mine, we both sucked in a sharp breath. She could almost meet my eyes with her heels on. I closed the space between us and brushed my lips against her cheek before moving to her ear. “Good morning.”

April flushed, stepping back from me quickly as a male voice came from behind us. “April? Ready?”

“Yes,” she said. “This is Beau Anderson, the drummer of Jaded Regret. Beau, this is Trent, the director of Kids Life.”

I shook his hand but said nothing, and then followed them into a large room where at least thirty kids of varying ages sat. A few reporters were set up in the front. Bex had already taken a seat with a group of teenagers, holding her guitar in front of her while she showed them some of the chords. Johnny and Tanner were not far from Bex, talking to another group of kids.

I was totally out of my element. I spotted Natalie next to a reporter, and I made my way to her. April followed.

“This is my brother, Beau Anderson, the drummer of Jaded Regret. He and Bexley were the originators of the band.” Natalie winked at me. I shook hands with the reporter, and that’s when I saw a child sitting all by himself off to the side, watching us.

April caught my line of sight and leaned closer to me. “That’s Robbie.”

I nodded, watching the boy as he clutched something in his hand. His facial expression didn’t change at the mayhem happening in the room. A few of the employees at the home moved around the room, talking to the kids and figuring out who would get a turn with the band next.

One of the women walked up to Robbie, and he pulled the picture against his chest so she couldn’t see it. She said something to him, but he didn’t respond, his eyes remaining on us. After a moment, she gave up and caught April’s gaze across the room, shaking her head before moving on to the next child.

“He hasn’t spoken a word since he arrived,” April said next to me. “He won’t let anyone see the picture he carries around. Trent was the one who told him his mom had passed away. He’s called in counselors to see him since then, but he won’t talk.”

I could identify with that. Sometimes there was just nothing to say worthy of your feelings, so you stayed quiet.

For the next few hours, we took turns with groups of kids from the home. The youngest kids were barely five years old, the oldest almost about to age out of the system. Many of them were engrossed in learning to play or had played in the past. The reporters took video and asked the kids questions about what they thought of Jaded Regret coming to see them.

It wasn’t until the reporters started interviewing some of the kids about what it would mean to them to be at home with a family that I knew I couldn’t stay in there anymore.

“April.” I worked my fingers against my legs. She hadn’t left our sides the entire time. Well, she hadn’t left my side. Her eyes swung to mine, and she must’ve read something there because she immediately stood up and indicated for me to follow her.

We walked down a long hallway until we reached an office. April shut the door behind us and grabbed my hands, stilling them from the beat. “Beau.” She squeezed my fingers. When I didn’t respond, she wrapped her arms around my waist and settled her head on my chest, hugging me tightly. It was such a strange, yet comforting feeling. I wasn’t sure what to do with my hands, so I settled for putting them around her waist and clasping them together.

No one will ever want you. You’re poison. I rested my head against the door, squeezing my eyes closed. It took me a few moments to realize April was kissing up my neck and jaw, standing on her tiptoes as she put her lips to my ear. “I’m here, Beau. It’s okay.”

My head spun with conflicting emotions: push her away and run like I wanted to, or lose myself in her. I dropped my head and rested my forehead on hers. “I can’t do this.”

April froze. “Do what?” I realized what she thought I meant right after I said it. I caressed her back, pulling her closer to me so she knew that wasn’t it. She nodded, getting it. “You did great.”