But I was too afraid to act on anything she made me feel. I couldn’t have sex with her, even if my dick was tired of my hand and was eager to be around her.
“I love when you say my name,” she whispered, scooting back so she was sitting on the table in front of me. If I looked, I could probably see up her skirt.
“Why?”
“You don’t see it, do you, Beau?”
I shook my head. Why was April so interested in knowing me? Most people gave up after the first few times I shut them out.
“You’re unbelievable.” April leaned over and put her hand on my face. Her thumb caressed the short hairs on my jaw, sending a trail of fire throughout my body.
You’re worthless. No one wants you. I closed my eyes against the words, willing my head to shut up so I could experience April’s soft touch and hear her kind words. No one will ever love you. You’re nothing.
I sucked in a breath, trying to quiet my head before I ruined the moment. My heart pounded in my chest, and my fingers worked on my legs in rapid succession.
“What’s happening?” April’s soft voice floated into my conscience. “Beau. Look at me.”
I couldn’t open my eyes. I sensed April get off the table and crouch in front of me, as if I had watched her with my own eyes. Her short breaths floated over my face as she said something I couldn’t hear. The next thing I knew, her soft lips tenderly ran along my jaw and up to my ear, where she stopped.
“Stay with me, Beau. I’m right here,” she whispered into my ear. “Come back. It’s just us. No one else is here. Open your eyes. I’m right here.”
I groaned, but allowed myself to feel every kiss she pressed along my jaw to the other side, her lips stopping just short of my other ear. “That’s it. Relax, Beau.” And then her hands covered mine, stopping my incessant drumming. She laced her fingers with mine and lifted our joined hands. “Open your eyes and see me. I’m right here. Just me.”
I blew out a strangled breath, frustrated that I couldn’t do it.
She leaned over again, and then surprised me when she pressed her lips to each of my eyes, then down my nose until I knew she was going to kiss my lips. I wanted to stop her because I knew what it would do to me, but I couldn’t move. “I want you to trust me.” Her words were mere breaths against my lips. “I know that doesn’t happen easily for you, and I understand. I’ll take as much or as little as you’ll give me. But my first goal is to show you how worthy you are.”
My heart ricocheted off my ribcage, waiting for what she’d do next. My eyes finally flew open when she backed up and then settled on my lap, her hands on either side of my face as we stared directly into each other’s eyes. Time stood still while we had a silent conversation, neither of us moving and barely breathing. I could see small flecks of gold in the beautiful brown around her dilated pupils. Her skin was flawless, just like her. Her body was touching me in places I hadn’t been touched in so long, and I knew if I looked, her skirt would be hiked up to her waist while she straddled me. She wasn’t moving, but if she did, I knew I’d be a goner.
“Kiss me.” April finally broke the silence between us. “Please, Beau.”
She was perfect. I was broken. I had no business doing this with her. But my hands came up anyway and framed her face. I rubbed my thumb across her lips and she kissed the tip of it, sending lust directly to my groin.
I leaned up enough to capture her lips with mine, a groan reverberating through my chest as our tongues touched for the first time. She tasted like sugar and something else amazingly April. She put her arms around my neck and ran her fingers through the hair on the base of my neck, moving her lips and tongue against mine.
April shifted so we were closer and I felt her heat, making me want to rub against her to relieve the pressure. I forced myself to sit still as our kiss deepened. I allowed my hands to run down her arms and to her back, pulling her body closer to me.
April’s tongue entwined with mine may have just been the best damn thing ever. When she sucked my tongue into her mouth, I swore I could’ve blown at any second. Our kiss was urgent and hurried one moment, and then tender and sensual the next. I never wanted it to end.
She moved her hands down my neck and to my chest and abs, then back up. I wasn’t sure who started slowing the kiss first, but before I knew it, her forehead was against mine, both of our chests heaving. “Beau.” Her sweet voice fell onto my lips like woven silk, her arms locked behind my neck. April tilted her head back so we were looking at each other again. I had never been so wide open and exposed in all my life. Everything in me was screaming to get away from her.