Just as her figure moved away from my bed, I lost the battle with consciousness. The voices subsided from my head, and I succumbed to the relief of blackness.
I was twelve years old.
My mother hated me.
And now I was locked up in a mental institution.
Beau ~ Age 18
“I LIKE YOU,” Robyn whispered against my lips. I was frozen, my heart hammering so hard I swore it was going to come out of my chest. My hands clenched into fists, not knowing what I was supposed to do with them.
“W-why?” I’d never kissed a girl before. I’d never let another girl get close enough to even try. Robyn worked with me at the fast food restaurant where I was a cook, and we’d become friends. Well, as much of a friend as I let anyone be. My only friends in the world were Natalie, my sister, and Bex, my foster sister. We lived together in a shitty trailer in an even crappier neighborhood, but it was ours, and we didn’t have to fear anyone would do anything to us inside our walls. It was home. None of our neighbors cared that we wailed on our instruments into the wee hours of the night. We stayed out of their business, and they stayed out of ours. Bex swore we were going to make it someday—out of that trailer park and doing what we loved. I wasn’t sure I believed it, but I never told her that.
I’d lived for the last six years hiding inside my head to shelter myself from letting anyone get close. Hell, my mother hadn’t wanted me, so why would anyone else?
Robyn was hot. It wasn’t that I didn’t have desires, I just refused to act on any of them. If I never opened up, I’d never get hurt. That was easy enough. But Robyn never cared that I hardly spoke or that I refused most of her invitations to go out and do something together. I guessed I was good looking enough. I had dark hair and dark eyes, and I liked to work out—though my body wasn’t anything spectacular. I wanted tattoos and piercings, but that wasn’t in the budget yet. Someday I’d make enough money to do more than feed myself.
This time, she’d convinced me to go to the theater to see a total guy movie. I knew she didn’t care about seeing it, but she’d wanted me to go out with her. Natalie had been shocked when I’d told her I was going with Robyn, but then got all misty-eyed and said she was proud of me. She was twenty years old but acted like she was my mother. I guess she had been for a long time.
“Because you aren’t like most guys,” Robyn said. “You don’t come onto me and try to get into my pants. You’re quiet, shy, and respectful. Girls like that, you know.”
No, I didn’t know. My throat was dry as her breath wafted over my lips. I could smell her perfume or shampoo or something. If I moved just a little, we’d be kissing. For the first time, I wanted to kiss someone. I wanted to do more than kissing. My dick stirred. It wasn’t like I was a prude or anything. My hand got plenty of exercise.
“I scare you, don’t I?” Robyn said. The movie was playing, and I could hear guns shooting and see the flicker of action across Robyn’s face, but I didn’t care. The theater was almost empty, and we were at the top of the rows, alone. I wanted to do things with her. Things I’d never done before.
“Yes,” I admitted.
“Why?”
I shrugged. How could I tell her the truth? Thankfully, she didn’t make me answer, because before I could try to come up with a response, she pressed her full lips to mine, absorbing the gasp that involuntarily came out of my mouth. Her warm tongue danced along the seam of my lips, and I found myself opening up, groaning as she made me come alive. I put my hands on either side of her face and pulled her closer, sucking her tongue into my mouth like I knew what I was doing. She moved the armrest in between us and moved closer, her body pressing into mine. She was good at this. Not that I’d know the difference, but it sure seemed like she was. Did she know I’d never kissed anyone before? Did I suck at this? She didn’t appear to mind, so I kept going.
My dick was fully awake and active now, pressing painfully against my pants. What the hell was I doing? When her hand traveled down my abs and to the button on my pants, I stiffened. She noticed and pulled back, her eyes finding mine in the darkness of the theater.
“Do you want me?”
What the hell kind of question was that? My body wanted her, yes, but my mind was running away. How could I tell her I’d never done this before? “I . . .”
“Let’s get out of here. My roommate isn’t home. I want to show you something.”
Show me something? I followed her out of the theater; her fingers entwined with mine. I examined our hands, her small one in mine, and I wondered if this was what it was supposed to feel like. Attraction. Lust.