Snared(15)

My mind raced a thousand miles an hour, and I needed to quiet it. Natalie had eyed me when I came out for rehearsal. She could always read when my head wasn’t where it was supposed to be. She hadn’t said a word, but I knew she was watching. I’d taken my meds as usual, but there was something else keeping my head out of it today. Maybe it was the lack of sleep I’d had last night or the release I needed that I refused to allow myself to have. I’d tossed and turned all night, the only sleep I’d gotten filled with twisted-up dreams of my dad’s dead body, my mom’s cold eyes when she left me, and a dark haired beauty with eyes that seemed to peer right through me.

Johnny and Bex hit their last note, my cue to begin. My fingers gripped the wooden sticks, pounding out the drum solo with more force than usual. I crashed into the cymbals and then the snare, sweat breaking out on my face and back. Yes. I needed it. I pounded harder, drowning out the voices echoing in my head and the thoughts that came with them. My muscles flexed and my head bobbed, my eyes closing as I finished the solo without looking. It was as second nature as breathing. I blocked out Tanner to my left and Johnny and Bex in front. I blocked out the empty seats in front of us and Natalie standing off to the side and just pounded, my head finally clearing as I struck the final cymbal to complete my solo.

“Fuck!” Johnny said. “That was epic, Beau! You’re a machine! Do that tonight and you’ll have all the pussy you want!”

Bex smacked him. “He can get whatever pussy he wants anyway.” She laughed. “That doesn’t mean he takes it.”

Johnny shrugged. “You should. All you need is to get some Grade A . . .”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence because Dr. Knight and April stepped on the stage with Natalie. My eyes snapped right to April, who wore a pair of dress pants and a button-down blouse. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail at the nape of her neck, and her makeup was flawless. I stayed behind my drums, hoping she’d ignore me and flirt with Tanner or something. She threw me off, and I didn’t know why. It wasn’t like other women hadn’t hit on me over the years. That was what she was doing, right? She’d hit on me. She’d wanted something from me. She was barking up the wrong tree. She didn’t want anything to do with me.

Or, at least, she wouldn’t once she found out who I was.

“They came to watch the rehearsal,” Natalie announced. “Just ignore us and keep practicing. Beau, that was incredible. Good job, bro.” I didn’t miss the way Nat regarded me for just a second too long. I was still on her radar, but I was okay now. All I needed was to beat the shit out of the drums, and all was right in my world again. Add that I’d get to do it for a few hours today, and I’d be more than okay.

“I caught the end of that,” April said, staring directly at me. I tapped the drumsticks on my legs, the need to play again almost consuming me. “You’re so talented, Beau.”

I nodded but didn’t respond. I had no words that would make any sense to her. She needed to focus on someone else because I wasn’t the man for her. I wasn’t the man for anyone.

“I’m just going to sit and listen if that’s okay,” April said, turning to Johnny and Bex. Tanner eyed her, just like I knew he would.

“You can sit right here in front of me and let me play to you.” Tanner turned on his charm. He knew she was Camryn’s friend, but that didn’t stop him. He’d probably try to have them both at the same time. Sometimes I envied him. He had no problems getting what he wanted and then moving on, and girls were okay with it. He never seemed to have a care in the world. Hell, why would he? He’d had the perfect life.

April smiled and peeked back over at me. What was her thing with me? Had I given her a signal I was interested? “Thanks, Tanner. I’m going to sit in the front row so I can see everyone. This is such a surreal moment for me. Thanks again for agreeing to do this.”

“Yes, thank you,” Dr. Knight said to all of us. “While I have to admit I’m not usually a rock fan, April has converted me. You are quite a talented bunch.”

Bex grinned. “Thank you, Dr. Knight. All right boys, let’s get back to work. Beau, that was an extra amazing solo. Keep that shit up, okay?”

I smiled at her. “You got it.”



I stared at my reflection in the mirror, following the ink from my neck down my chest, arms, and torso. Following the colors back up, I lifted my hand and ran it along my short beard, then to my gauges. I tried to figure out what a woman might see in me. Yeah, I had the whole “bad boy” vibe going on. I was a drummer in a rock band, which did a little something to the female libido. I flexed, watching the muscles ripple across my arms, chest, and abs. Yeah, I guess I had those, too. Years of drumming and beating the shit out of a bag would do that. I didn’t ooze sex appeal like Johnny, or scream “drop your panties” like Tanner. Then again, all I’d ever wanted to do was fly under the radar. It was better that way.