Perhaps this was my punishment?
I couldn’t be a snake again. I couldn’t barge into her life out of the blue and destroy the happiness and life she’d spent a year building.
I couldn’t make her cheat for me again… Even though this time the roles would be reversed.
No wonder they didn’t tell me, I thought bitterly, thinking of my mother and stepfather, who’d perhaps only been trying to protect me.
I looked at the flowers in my hand, pearly pink and so full of life, and walked over to a nearby trashcan. I let go of the bouquet and let it fall into the garbage.
It was a significant moment for me, a sign of finally letting go.
One last fleeting look at Mila as she pushed the stroller down the street. That’s all I would allow myself.
I stared at her retreating figure, her curves beautiful in that dress. For a moment, she stopped, like she sensed me looking at her.
But I knew I’d overstayed my welcome. Head bent, I walked away from her perfect little life and back to my miserable lonely one.
I’d messed up, and there was nothing I could have done. It was time to finally move on and let Mila live the life she had.
The life she deserved.
27
Mila
A prickle on my bare neck made me stop in my tracks, a gut feeling telling me that there had been a change in the air.
Did I forget to lock the front door?
No, it wasn’t that. It was something more significant.
Slowly, I turned around, my hands sweaty on the stroller. George was fidgeting in his blanket, his legs dancing and arms waving, but I was too distracted to watch his little body frolic.
I felt a tingling all over my body, and shuddered, as if a thousand feathers were tickling my bare flesh. As I turned around, I saw a retreating figure walking away on the opposite side of the street. A large man, cast in shadows from the boughs and leaves of the trees that lined the way.
He turned to the side for one moment, and I gasped, everything around me forgotten for a long second.
His face looked familiar, but from the distance it was hard to tell. Was it Devan? I could’ve sworn it was my stepbrother but then I blinked, and when I opened my eyes, the man was gone. I tried to catch my breath as I stared at the corner of the street, wondering if what I’d seen was real.
It couldn’t be.
I had to be rational.
I had made damn sure Dev wouldn’t find me, and he probably didn’t want anything to do with me, anyhow. Of course, that didn’t stop me from wanting him to find me… God, my emotions were all messed up.
It was just a mirage, I tried to tell myself.
George started crying softly and I turned around immediately, my mind back to the most important little person in my life now - my son. He was all that mattered.
I cooed as I put his pacifier back into his mouth and he stilled when I wrapped him back up his favourite blanket, snug as scrumptious bug.
“Are you okay?” Carl asked. “You’ve gone pale.”
Startled, I took my eyes off baby George and looked up. I had almost completely forgotten about Carl who stood right next to me.
“I’m fine,” I said waving his concerns away.
“If you’re sure.”
I nodded and gave a weak smile.
“Well, I best be off then. It was lovely seeing you, Mila.”
Carl was a friend from work who’d stopped by on my day off to deliver some contracts. Perfectly polite and handsome, but boring in every other way. He never made it a secret that he had a thing for me, not since my first day in the office. But I always stayed away, ignored his flirtatious remarks and subtle invitations out. I was civil, and he was persistent. I knew I would never accept, though.
“Yes, thank you Carl,” I said politely. “I’ll see you Monday at the office?”
He hesitated, but finally nodded, a little disappointed. He leaned in to kiss me, and I quickly turned my cheek to the side so it would be chaste. He looked dissatisfied as we said our goodbyes.
I continued on my walk to the nearby park, my heart feeling a little heavy as I sat down on a rickety bench and propped up the stroller’s hood so George could get a little sun.
Cooing and talking to my son, I tried to relax. The day was beautiful and sunny, and my life was great. Perfect, what I always wanted, I tried to convince myself. I had a well-paying job, an amazing son, a fantastic place to live, and yet there was something missing.
But I gritted my teeth, not allowing myself to think of it. Instead I thought of my dad, who’d visited me a few weeks ago and the secret that had been revealed.
And not the only one, either.
I broke down that day, telling him the baby was my stepbrother’s. But I swore my dad to secrecy and I hoped he had stayed a man of his word.
Though I secretly knew he was right - Devan had a right to know he had a son. I should have told him. Yet it was just too hard, and even thinking about that conversation made me break out in hives.