I opened it wide and my mouth gaped in shock when I saw who was standing on my welcome mat.
“Dad!” I said, a smile already on my lips. It’d be so long since I’d last seen him. I’d always made excuses about being too busy with the new job to come visit or for him to come here, but shit, I never thought he’d show up unannounced. He hadn’t called, and I hoped nothing was wrong…
Also, there was absolutely no way I could let him in.
“What are you doing here?”
“Came to see you, silly. Show some love for your old man,” my Dad laughed, and pulled me into a bear-like hug, slapping me on the back roughly so I sputtered. We laughed and there was genuine warmth between us, but I was still so nervous as his loafer-covered foot breached the threshold.
“Who’s there?” a voice asked from behind me, and Suzanne rushed out.
“As if you don’t already know, you scheming…” I cut myself short, filtering myself in front of my dad. But instead I gave her my frostiest look and her look changed from happiness to utter guilt.
“You told him?” I hissed at my cousin angrily.
“Told him what?” Suzanne chirped, and I could tell she had indeed been in contact with my father.
“Don’t have a go at her. I made her tell me where you lived,” he piped up from the door. “I’ve had enough of the phone calls, Mila. We need to see each other - are we not a family in the end? I don’t get what the big secret is, either. It’s not like you live in a shack… actually it looks quite lovely.”
I could feel my face growing paler and paler and I thought I was going to pass out any moment.
“Well, are you going to invite me in, or what?”
“Actually, Dad, do you want to grab a coffee?” I finally asked, needing to get away from the house as fast as possible.
He looked surprised for a moment and considered the prospect, but finally nodded with a smile on his face. “Yes, that would be lovely. But, as long as I get the full tour later on. Shall we go now?”
My nod was so jerky it was almost violent as I gave Suzanne a desperate look. “You’ll stay here, right?” I asked her.
She frowned at me then widened her eyes, trying to communicate her question: Are you not going to tell him?!
I stared right back and shook my head almost imperceptibly. Finally, she sighed then nodded that she would stay as her eyes darted from mine to my dad’s.
“Okay, we can go,” I said, the relief evident in my voice. I was just about to shut the door when a sound filled the entire house, pulling at my heartstrings as it stopped us in our tracks.
“What was that?” my father asked with a shaky voice.
“Nothing!” I said as the door closed, hoping he’d forget and that would be the end of it. But my dad was stubborn and I’d been perhaps too quick to reply. However, it was too late anyway as the sound flowed out through a cracked-open front window again.
The racket of a baby crying.
My dad and I locked eyes, the realisation growing in his gaze, and pure horror settling in mine.
24
Devan
Driving to Sunday lunch, my hand hung out of the window, enjoying the breeze coming through into the car. A mellow song played on the radio, but it wasn’t doing anything for my mood. My mouth was pursed in a thin line as I drove - today was not one of the good days.
I kept thinking about her... Mila.
It’d been a year since she left and we haven’t been in contact at all.
I tried for a while to contact her, but nothing I did worked. And reluctantly, I moved on. But there were always those days, days like today, when every fifth second I’d wonder what she was doing in that same moment. Was she outside too, the breeze caressing her skin as it did mine? And the sun on her sweet kissable face?
But after my stepfather bailed me out a year ago, I realised I needed to get my shit together. I couldn’t pull Mila down along with me, I needed to get back on my feet and do what was right.
So I swallowed my pride and apologised to Monique, and with gritted teeth, Alan, her boss, love… whatever. And thankfully they dropped all charges. She was acting all high and mighty, but in the end, we had the most civil talk we’d had in years leading up to the end of our marriage.
She hadn’t been happy, and I knew I had something to do with that, too. I had been trying, but she even admitted that nothing I could’ve done, not even giving her the baby she desperately wanted, would’ve made her happy with us. We both came to the conclusion that we’d been a bad, incompatible match right from the start and knew our break-up had been a long time coming. We actually chuckled on holding out for so long!