“Monique just pulled up in the driveway–” I tried to explain, but she stopped me with her hand in the air.
“Yeah, go sort it out,” she said dismissively, tugging on the blanket that had been covering our naked bodies. She wrapped it around herself, shielding her beautiful curves from my eyes, and it fucking hurt to see her in that defensive mode. She was the last person I wanted to hurt…
Could I go to her? Take her in my arms? And just as I was about to reach out she said, “Go.”
“I’ll be back. I promise,” I said lamely, getting up and locating my jeans on the floor. I pulled them on and couldn’t help noticing Mila’s gaze dropping to take in my nakedness, if only for a second. Immature as it was, it put a stupid smile on my face despite the seriousness of the situation. At least she was still somewhat attracted to me.
And as for me, I couldn’t tear my eyes from her. I took it all in, committing it to memory, never wanting to forget that moment as her creamy skin, her curvy hips and those beautiful breasts were illuminated by a warm glow from a shaft of morning light making its way through the window, bathing her in a pure radiance.
Studying her face as I got dressed in silence, I looked for any sign or indication that she wanted me to return, but she turned around and refused to look at me. I knew there was a big talk ahead of us, but at least there was no confusion anymore - at least not on my part.
I wanted Mila. Not once, but for the rest of my life.
“See you in a bit,” I said to her, pausing awkwardly in front of her as we looked at one another, waiting for her to speak. To say anything!
What was I to do? Kiss her goodbye? Hug her? Shake her hand?
I sighed. “Mila, you have that frown again. What’s wrong?” I asked as I reached out to touch her forehead, as I’d done plenty of times before.
“Nothing. You have to go,” she replied and leaned back, avoiding my touch, her voice even and controlled.
In the end, I settled for an awkward hug, but she took another move to avoid me. Giving her a confused look, I ran my hands through my hair.
“Bye, Devan,” Mila said coldly, and I furrowed my brows as she retreated back into the apartment, all professional-like, as if she’d seen off a cold-caller. She was acting like nothing had happened between us and it was bugging the living shit out of me, but I knew I had to sort stuff out with Monique first.
Without another word, I walked out of Mila’s apartment and tried to sneak into the house without my wife noticing which direction I’d come from.
My heart was beating wildly in my chest, knowing I’d what would probably be the most difficult conversation of my life ahead of me.
But I ploughed on, the goal clear in my mind.
A future with Mila... that’s what I wanted, and needed.
19
Mila
I turned my back and stood in the middle of the room, my breathing laboured, trying to control my trembling hands. Why did he have to leave?
Yet I knew it was probably for the best. I’d made my decision last night and I was going to stick to it.
I was already riddled with doubt and worries, and I’d just woken up minutes ago... What we had done was undoubtedly wrong, but the worst thing was, I didn’t regret it. Who had I become? And if I wasn’t careful, if I didn’t hold onto some semblance of control, I’d repeat the previous night with my stepbrother in a heartbeat.
Devan had turned me into something that I never ever wanted to become. He made me a cheat, a slut, and just as bad as Monique. But who was I kidding? It wasn’t just his doing.
I cringed at the thought as I got dressed, then tidied up the apartment. We’d left it in such disarray in our hurry to let our emotions overtake us the previous night. Somehow my nightstand had been knocked over, and the stacks of books I’d been reading were scattered along the floor. Not to mention that I found my panties in one corner of the room, my bra in another and my shoes… god knows where my shoes had gotten to.
After all my clothes were neatly stacked in the hamper, ready to be washed, and the bed made, I finally admitted to myself that I had to use the bathroom. Out of the corner of my eye I glanced at the unfinished, untiled bathroom and cursed. I had running water, but the toilet hadn’t been connected up yet. I contemplated using the sink, but even I couldn’t stoop that low. Besides, curiosity was getting the better of me; had they patched things up?
On my way out the door I grabbed a load of laundry and snuck into the house, making sure to tread carefully. I held my breath as I closed the back door and turned to head towards the bathroom, dropping my basket by the machines along the way. But as soon as I’d closed the door, it was blatantly obvious that they wouldn’t hear me even if I were a five ton elephant let loose stomping around the place.