“You know I can always tell when you’re lying.” He sighed. “Listen Mila, I know everything’s not perfect over there,” my dad continued, and I exhaled after what seemed like weeks of holding my breath.
It felt like I’d stumbled upon this huge secret, knowing that Monique and Devan’s relationship was in trouble. To hear someone else admitting they’d noticed their difficulties gave me a sense of relief.
“I bet you feel a little pressured, huh?” dad asked.
“Yeah,” I replied in a small voice.
“Well, why don’t you let me take you out for a bit, treat you? We can get one of those burgers you like so much and catch up. Talk it over,” dad offered, and I let out a strangled sound.
“I’m not allowed to eat meat, let alone junk food,” I managed to say, but there was already a smile playing on my lips.
“Screw those rules,” dad chuckled. “You’re not pregnant yet, are you? Come on, it will be our little secret.”
I couldn’t resist any more; I agreed to his suggestion. After weeks of feeling like shit, I finally had a smile back on my face as I got ready for dad to pick me up.
I got ready in my room, sitting at my dressing table, freshening up my face and applying a new swipe of lipstick. Devan had failed to follow up on his promise to complete the bathroom in the apartment. It stayed half-finished, with bare drywall, a miserable grey, and with dust flying around coating everything it touched, including my clothes. I’d resorted to covering them up, protecting them with a plastic sheet instead of braving a conversation with Devan.
What a mess he had made, and not just with this apartment…
I bit my tongue and remembered the last time I’d seen him, knowing I shouldn’t have been snooping, but it was hard to ignore the fact that I’d seen him sleeping in the den. Every night when I went to pee in their bathroom he was there, his back turned on the sofa and a blanket covering his large frame. It broke my heart to see him like that, but I kept quiet and withdrew without saying a word.
Applying some blusher, I thought of what my stepbrother’s wife has been doing behind his back.
From the side window looking out onto the driveway I’d seen her getting dropped off and even picked up by the same man I saw her with that time in the den. She didn’t even seem to be hiding it, and by then, it was obvious to anyone who noticed what she was doing that it wasn’t a one-time thing. Far from it. It was a full-blown affair, and I hated her for it.
She was betraying Dev and making me face a terrible decision. I could go ahead, be their surrogate and deliver their child in the hopes that the baby might patch up their marriage, or I could forget the whole thing and leave them to it.
Through the window I saw my dad pull into the driveway. Grabbing my jacket, I rushed downstairs to meet him and tried to block out all thoughts of Monique, her affair and my lonely stepbrother.
* * *
“I’ll have my usual, please,” I told the waitress as we settled into a booth. My dad really was treating me, instead of getting takeaway as I’d normally would he insisted of having a sit-down meal.
I pushed the menu away; I knew it by heart, anyway.
“Haven’t seen you in a long while,” she commented and gave me a curious look as I blushed. “Everything okay?”
“She’ll feel better after one of your delicious burgers,” my dad cut in, and I gave him a grateful look as he ordered the same meal as me. The waitress headed back to the kitchen, and we sat in companionable silence.
“I’m worried about you,” my dad finally confessed. I refused to meet his eye, focusing on the white paper napkin I was crumpling between my fingers. He went on despite my attempt to get him to change the subject.
“You seem like you’re struggling. You’re making a big sacrifice, Mila, and we all know it. You have to know both Monique and Devan are very grateful that you’re helping them.”
“I know,” I replied, heaving a sigh. “It’s just…”
I looked up at my dad, unsure of what I could tell him. It felt too private and intimate to share any of it with him, but maybe I could hide what I really knew and still get his opinion. “I want to help, but it’s very tough,” I admitted. “They have me on a special diet and special… rules. I can’t do much, really. And they fight a lot, Dad.”
“All couples fight, it’s probably just a phase,” he said cheerfully, and I gave him a doubtful look and shook my head. If he had witnessed at least one of Monique and Dev’s screaming sessions, he would be of a different opinion.
“Not like this…”