If she knew, then I would face the music. I wasn’t a coward, afraid to admit when I’d fucked up.
Trying to be as quiet as possible, I moved into the kitchen, and even though I needed to pee, I needed to quench the lifeless desert that had set up camp in my mouth first. I poured myself a glass of cold water and gulped it down in long, thirsty sips.
“It’s good to stay hydrated.”
The cold voice that came from behind my back startled me, and I nearly choked. I turned around slowly, doing my best to fake a smile as my eyes landed on Monique.
She looked a little worse for wear, her eyes puffy and swollen like she’d been crying or had a bad night’s sleep. My stomach dropped, and the water inside my belly threatened to make reappearance.
God, did she know?
Monique remained quiet, not giving me any clues as to my fate, and busied herself by preparing a slice of toast while I tried to make myself invisible. Just as I was going to sneak out of the kitchen unnoticed, her voice interrupted again.
“How did the Doctor’s visit go?” she asked.
Letting out a controlled breath, realizing she wouldn’t be asking about the appointment if Devan had revealed all to her, I turned around slowly, finding her leaning against the countertop as she now fiddled with the coffee machine.
My mouth salivated at the mere smell of the decaf, and the feeling of guilt was instantly replaced with anger and jealousy due to the fact that I couldn’t have any. Coffee was on the banned list, even decaf, along with my precious burgers.
Not that I was a coffee addict, but at least I usually had the option of having it, and before it was forbidden, it was a taste I craved.
“I got the all clear,” I said and nodded, choosing my words carefully as I met Monique’s gaze. She let out a strange sound, something between a gasp and a cry of delight, turned around, and enveloped me in a quick hug, which felt strange, robotic. I’d been all but ready for a standoff or a fight, a screaming match… but not a hug.
My heart thudded rapidly in my chest, and I hoped she wouldn’t notice my apprehension as she chattered about the doctor I’d seen the previous day.
My lips were on your husband last night, the unwelcome thought flashed in my mind.
The guilt was tying my stomach into knots, and I suddenly felt like I was going to be sick. “I have to use the bathroom,” I murmured and moving away from her embrace and padded quickly down the corridor.
After I did my business, I splashed cold water on my face and took a deep breath. I couldn’t let myself behave this way - Monique must never know what had happened. And in that moment I was furious at Devan, at what he’d turned me into. What we’d done was no full-blown affair, but I would still be considered the home-wrecker, the mistress who’d come between them, fracturing their sacred vow.
God, I was just the same as the skank, the bar ho, that I’d caught Mark with when I’d decided to surprise him at his apartment one night. The woman knew we were a couple, had seen us together at the bar she worked at, but she still went after him anyway, and here I was, doing practically the same thing.
This was all my fault. I must’ve led him on somehow. What had I been thinking, wearing my low-cut tops and dresses around him?
Catching my reflection in the mirror, I sighed. I could make this right, but I needed to keep a clear head if I wanted to do what Dev and Monique were asking of me, and that involved getting my shit together so I could give them a baby.
I took my time in the bathroom and jumped in the shower, skipping the hair washing but relishing the frigid water against my skin. I still felt Dev’s touch on it, and I was doing my best to get rid of that addictive feeling that surged through my body every time I replayed our forbidden kiss.
Hoping I’d dilly-dallied enough for Dev to be safely on the way to work, I dried off and put on my robe.
As I walked out of the bathroom, I nodded to myself; I was determined to get back on track and give them both what they wanted. I could do this. The previous night had been a mistake, and I needed to forget it ever happened.
I headed back into the kitchen with a clear mind - or at least so I thought.
“There you are,” Monique exclaimed as she saw me. “I’ve made some breakfast for you. Come sit down, you need something to eat.”
“I was going to grab a bagel on the way to work.” Breakfast with Monique was not my idea of fun even at the best of times, and that morning, with a mountain of worry still piling up, I knew I’d be tense the whole time we ate.
“Nonsense,” Monique shot me down. “Come sit down with us and eat something healthy. We agreed on no junk.”
Monique wouldn’t take no for an answer. She walked through into the dining room and gave me an impatient glance over her shoulder. And shit, she said to join them, which meant only one thing…