Smith(23)

I have to admit, it’s tempting. I haven’t taken a night off in so long I can’t remember the last time.

Jax can see that his words are working on me. He goes for the death blow. “Dad would not want to see you killing yourself like this. You know it would hurt him.”

My breath exhales in a hard whoosh, and I run my fingers through my hair, over my beard. “Fuck.” All the fight leaves me at the mention of Dad. No, he wasn’t the best businessman, but he did the best he could for me and my brothers. Made sure we went out and did things together. Fishing, baseball games, skiing.

The familiar pain that I always feel when I think about Dad comes creeping back in, and my chest grows tight.

He comes over and pats my shoulder. “One night. It won’t be the end of the world. Stop being our dad and remember that you have a right to a life, too.”

“You have to text—no, call—if anything goes wrong.”

“We will.”

“And if someone starts a fight, make sure to break it up immediately so it doesn’t get worse.”

“Yeah, we know.”

“And keep an eye on the kegs—”

“Fucker, we know. Shut up, idiot, and get out of here.” Jax shoves my back. I growl at him, and he laughs. “Yeah, yeah, big guy. Don’t forget, I can take you.”

“One time, when you were like twelve.”

“Best day of my life.” He winks. “I was thinking of getting a trophy for it.”

I can’t help it. I laugh. Asshole knows how to work me. I glance at the time on my phone. It’s only nine-thirty. A whole night off…what am I going to do?

I grab my keys and head out the crowded bar toward my motorcycle. Crank it up, rev it, then back out of the spot and just drive. I’m not sure where I’m going. I just need to feel nothing but the street beneath my tires, the power of the bike. It was my dad’s, and he left it to me in his will, knowing how much I loved helping him restore it.

Whenever I ride it, I feel closer to him.

Mile by mile, the tension starts to fade, and my shoulders loosen. The wind whips through my hair. I take the back road up to the small lake in the park. A good place to be alone with my thoughts.

Think about what it is I want and how to get it.

When I get to the parking lot, there are a few other cars there. I hear a couple of kids playing in the playground at the far end of the park. The air is warm but not humid tonight. I park my bike and head right to the water’s edge.

There are a few ducks swimming on the surface; the sun has already set, so it’s dark over here, lit by a couple of ambient lights around the park. The sky is an explosion of stars above me. I work my way around the perimeter of the water to my favorite thinking spot, a small grassy patch in the back.

Been a long time since I’ve come here. This used to be one of my retreats from the world, where I’d lie on the grass and not worry about anything.

I bet Aubrey would like it here.

The thought stops me right in my tracks.

I’ve never brought a woman to this place. Not because it’s that big of a secret or anything—it is in a fucking public park, after all. But something about doing a thing as regular as going with a woman to a park seems like real dating.

When the fuck have I last gone on a real date, not just a one-night stand? And why does Aubrey make me think about these things? That’s not what I’m interested in.

I’ve been telling myself that very thing all week, that I don’t want more than just fucking. And the entire time, I’ve known I’m lying to myself. Because dating Aubrey would give me a chance to hear more of her laugh, make her smile. Give us the chance to tease until we’re so sexually aroused we can’t see straight.

Maybe trying a date wouldn’t be so bad. Just one.

If she’ll even have me. I did creep out of her place without a goodbye. Shit move for sure. Jax, the king of one-night stands, would even kick my ass for that.

Is she pissed at me? Regretting what we did?

Guilt sinks my stomach hard, and I sigh. This week has fucking sucked because I’ve been running from the truth, and I know it. I want to know Aubrey more. Maybe take her out to dinner or whatever.

One date couldn’t hurt, could it?

Fuck me, I want to see her again. Feeling that tight cunt wrapped around my cock was one of the hottest moments in my life. Her innocence, mingled with that dirty curiosity, that eagerness…I need it right now.

Aubrey could drive away the shithole this week became.

I just have to get her to give it a chance.

I go back to my bike and hop on it. Get back on the roads and weave my way to her apartment. I’ll convince her to see me. I know she feels our sexual connection too. That look in her eyes wasn’t manufactured. That pussy was drenched for me, her body craving my hands, mouth, dick.