“Is she okay? Hurt?”
“She’s fine.”
Tim looked relieved. “I should have agreed to the chopper.”
“I shouldn’t have agreed to let her leave Homeland,” Smiley responded. He stepped around Tim and walked to the passenger side of the Jeep. “Get in, Vanni. We’re going home.”
Vanni slid down his front and he helped her climb inside. He rounded the vehicle and climbed into the driver’s seat. “I’m taking Vanni home.”
“That’s my Jeep.” Tim scowled.
“Get another and have Vanni’s new things sent to her home.” Smiley threw the Jeep in reverse and backed up slowly since Vanni hadn’t put on a seatbelt. He stopped, shifted gears and pushed the gas pedal. He just wanted to get her home and safe. She wouldn’t be leaving Homeland again.
Vanni was still a bit shaken when Smiley escorted her into the house. He closed and locked the door, leaning against it. His grim expression told her he didn’t take what had happened as lightly as he’d implied. She kicked off the high heels, happy to be out of them.
“No more shopping,” he announced.
“I don’t really like it anyway. I buy a lot of my clothes online.”
He blinked a few times and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I shouldn’t have agreed to that outing. I didn’t think you’d be in danger. I failed you.”
He was more than a little upset. He seemed to blame himself and she refused to let him. “That wasn’t your fault. I’ve come to the conclusion that people are assholes and idiots. You got me back safe and sound.” She lifted her arms and glanced down. “In one piece.” Her chin rose and she smiled at him. “I’m okay. It was scary there for a few minutes but we’ll laugh about this later.”
He pushed away from the door and stalked toward her, stopping just inches away. “I will never find that funny. They could have flipped the SUV.”
“They didn’t.”
“They could have.”
She liked the way he looked at her. His beautiful eyes showed worry and concern, all of it directed at her. She reached out and placed her hand against his chest. “I’m okay. I’m more worried about you right now.”
His gaze widened. “Why?”
“You’re more upset about what happened than I am.”
“I made a mistake.”
Her heart rate increased. It sounded as if he was about to dump her. She wasn’t even sure that was possible since they didn’t exactly have a relationship. “About what?”
“I never should have agreed to take you shopping. I don’t care what the out world thinks of me. I know it was for the NSO and to prove the Woods Church statements to be untrue but it wasn’t worth risking your life. I won’t agree to put you in any kind of danger again.”
“I was the one who agreed to go shopping.”
“You’re mine to protect. I could have overruled the decision.”That surprised her. “What does that mean?”
“You’re my responsibility to care for.”
A horrible thought struck and she stopped touching him. “Is that why you’re with me? You feel responsible?”
“No.” He frowned.
“It’s not your fault that we were drugged. You were their target but Gregory and his messed-up followers did this to both of us.”
“I’m aware.” She stumbled back a step and almost tripped on her discarded shoes. She righted herself before Smiley could reach out and help her, putting up her hands, waving him off. It hurt to think he might only be spending time with her out of some sense of duty. Her gaze locked with his.
“Do you even like me or is this about guilt?”
His lips parted and he looked surprised by her question.
“Seriously. Just tell me the truth.”
He advanced. “I want you. This isn’t about guilt. We have a bond.”
“One that was forged because we went through a traumatic event together.”
“It’s more than that. I feel things with you.”
That helped ease her hurt. “I don’t want you here if it’s just because you think you owe me something.”
“I want to spend time with you.” He frowned. “I was attracted to you before the drugs. I’m still attracted to you.”
The tightness in her chest eased. “Okay.”
Smiley wrapped his fingers around the curve of her hips, holding on to her. “How could you even question my attraction?”
“I don’t know.”
“You do know or you wouldn’t have said something like that. Look at me.”
She hated seeing the way he gazed at her in that moment, as if she’d hurt his feelings. It made her regret the rash assumption. “My track record with men isn’t that great.”
“You’re sweet, Vanni. You make me laugh and you drive me a little crazy.”
“I know it’s a bit annoying that I’m not more outgoing.”
“You don’t annoy me.”
“You just said I drive you crazy.”
He smiled and the pained look in his gaze vanished. “It’s because I’m so worried I’ll say or do something that will drive you away. I don’t want that. We’re from dissimilar backgrounds and I’m worried those differences will make you want to leave. I need you to stay.”
“You do?”
“Very much so.” He released her hip with one hand and cupped her face, dipping his head until his mouth hovered just inches from her lips. “I also would never call what we experienced traumatic. It brought us together. I can’t regret that.”
“Me neither,” she admitted.
He caressed her cheek. “Let me take you to bed. I want to prove to you how strongly I feel. I’m not good with words but I can show you.” His fingertips trailed from her cheek to her neck. “Say yes.”
She was tempted. “Do you understand that I don’t typically rush into a sexual relationship?”
“I do. What we share is special.”
She wanted to believe that. “I don’t know what you expect or want from me. Is it just sex?” She needed to express her concerns. “I don’t want to be used. That’s how I’ll feel later if you just walk away. I don’t do casual sex.”
Smiley softly groaned. “I’d frighten you if you knew how serious my feelings are.”
“Is that just a line?”
His eyebrows arched and a confused look filled his gaze. “What does that mean?”
“Men just say what they think a woman wants to hear to get her to agree to go to bed with them. They don’t mean it.”
“I’m nothing like your males, Vanni. I wouldn’t lie to you. Our females wouldn’t want me to tell them I have deep feelings. They prefer males who keep an emotional distance. I don’t want that with you. I wouldn’t share how I feel if I was just saying what I think you want to hear from me. I’d keep it hidden.”
“So you’re looking for a girlfriend? A serious relationship?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know how that could work out between us. You live here and I live about two hours away.” She wished she could see a way to make it work but wanted to be totally honest. “You also spend a lot of time at that Reservation place. That’s up north. Long-distance relationships never work. We can’t even date. You saw what happened when we went shopping together. It’s not as if we can go out to dinner.”
“You never have to leave my side. We could live together.”
Whoa! She swallowed hard. “That’s moving kind of fast.”
He let his hand drop away from her throat. “Life is short, Vanni.”
She had learned that lesson. Gregory and his goon could have killed her. She also could have died from the drug. She peered up at him and wanted to say yes but it just wasn’t that simple. She wished it could be.
“Give me some time.”
“I’ll give you anything you need.” He stepped back and urged her to follow him.
They ended up in the bedroom. Smiley sat on the bed and bent to remove his boots. She enjoyed watching him strip out of the shirt. He had a beautiful chest and his fit body always took her breath away. He stood and cocked his head.
“Will you let me show you how I feel?”
She clumsily unbuttoned her shirt. He watched as she removed it and let it drop to the floor. His gaze seemed fixated on her bra.
“You’re so beautiful.”
It encouraged her to reach back and unzip the skirt then shove it down her hips. It hit the floor and she stood there in her bra and panties. Smiley came closer and reached around her to unfasten the bra. He had it off in seconds. She’d noticed the first time he’d so easily unlatched her bra that he seemed to have some experience at undressing a woman. He looked down as he bared her breasts, a soft, sexy noise coming from his parted lips. He wasn’t like any other man she’d known. She decided he was so much better. No one had ever affected her the way he did.
He lightly caressed her hips before hooking his thumbs in the sides of her panties and surprised her by dropping to his knees. He tugged them down until they were around her ankles. She used his broad shoulders to help keep her balance as she stepped out of them. Smiley looked up at her, his dark eyes smoldering with passion.“You should never wear clothing.”