“I’m not them.” His voice deepened as he continued, “I welcome this conversation.”
She licked her lips and pushed herself to be more forward and forthcoming than normal. “I’m out of shape. I told you I don’t work out the way you do. That drug put me through the wringer, okay? I was sweating, then freezing and then we were touching.” Embarrassment forced her gaze to his chin at that point. “I think I was exhausted. That’s why I conked out.”
He said nothing so she looked up again. She didn’t see any negative emotions in his expression. He actually appeared happy when he smiled. It reached his eyes that time. It encouraged her to go on.
“Plus it was really extreme, you know? I’ve never felt that way before.”
“You are talking about the sex?” He lowered his tone to one that gave her chills. It was the good kind again and she remembered that about him too. He could talk a certain way that turned her on.
“Yes.”
“Sharing sex while drugged is very powerful.”
“That’s an understatement if I ever heard one. I thought I was going to die.” She’d survived the uncomfortable talk and breathed easier, her tense muscles relaxing. “Are you okay? I worried about you too.”
“I’m fine. Species are tough. There were a few uncomfortable hours after I woke but my jaw was only bruised.”
“I hurt your jaw?” She leaned forward, peering at his lower face. She didn’t see any scratches or bruises. He had flawless skin.
“No. Brass punched me to knock me out. I had some marks but they faded fast.”
“Why would he do that? I don’t remember that part. I thought I remembered it all.”
“It was after you passed out. We were about to be driven to Homeland and I was extremely worried about you.”
Vanni realized their faces were inches apart and her gaze locked with his. “Why would he hit you?”
“He was afraid I wouldn’t be able to resist touching you again even though you were unconscious.”
It took a moment to sink in. “He thought you’d…” She couldn’t finish that sentence.
“Mount you while you were out.” He didn’t have a problem speaking the words. “It was a genuine concern. I was highly aroused and wanted to keep touching you. I believe I would have resisted the urge but it was best that I wasn’t tested.”
“Oh.” She leaned back a little. “Does your jaw hurt at all?”
“No.” He put his other hand on the couch, one on either side of her knees. “Don’t be afraid of me, Vanni.”
“I’m not. I’m sitting here with you. I wouldn’t do that if I thought you’d do something bad to me. I’d scream. I know there’s a guard outside my door.”
“I sent Wager away.”
That news stunned her. “Why?”
“I wanted us to have some privacy.”
She wasn’t sure how to take that. Smiley rose to his knees and she realized he had her pinned where she sat. Her heart rate increased but it wasn’t caused by fear. “Why?”
“Species have excellent senses and I didn’t want him to overhear anything said between us.”
She wanted to get something off her chest. “It was the bartender who drugged us. Gregory Woods admitted that to me last night. I didn’t lie to you. I wasn’t the one who dosed our drinks.”
“I believe you.”
“But you thought I had at first.”
“You have a very expressive face, Vanni. I think you’d tell lies badly. I like that you’re easy to read. Right now you’re nervous. There’s no need to be.”
“You can tell that?”
He glanced at her chest. “You have accelerated breathing and your eyes are wide. I don’t see fear though. I’m grateful for that. The last thing I want to do is frighten you.”“Do you want me to tell you everything I’ve learned? I went to see Carl last night to return the ring and—”
“Tell me you no longer belong to that male.”
She gasped at his harsh tone.
“Sorry.” He softened his voice. “You no longer wear his ring. I looked. Your finger is bare. I heard what you said on the phone when you called Homeland. You were held against your will and that male doesn’t deserve you. He should be beaten for allowing anyone to hurt you in any way. I’ll make him bleed if I ever get the chance to meet him.”
Wow. She could tell he felt strongly about it and it was kind of hot hearing him make threats against her ex. He looked pissed but she knew it wasn’t directed at her. “It’s so over.”
“Are you in love with that male?”
“No.” She felt the need to excuse why she’d ever been with Carl. “I think I wanted to see things in him that weren’t really there.”
“You dated a bad male once and this one seemed better than the last one?” Smiley was good at guessing.
“Yes.”
“You wished to get married and start a family?”
“That was the plan but not anymore. Carl is an ass. I feel sorry for anyone who dates him now that I know how he really is.”
“Good.” Smiley smiled, his anger gone. “That means no male has a claim on you.”
Claim on you. She blinked, repeating his words in her head. “I guess.”
Silence stretched between them and it made her aware that she knew very little about the man she’d had sex with. They’d been intimate but she had no idea what to say to him. Nerves made her clutch at the hem of her shirt. Smiley glanced down at the movement and made a soft sound in the back of his throat.
“Are you okay?”
He looked up. “Yes. Sorry. I didn’t mean to rumble at you.”
“Why did you?”
“I’m frustrated but it’s my problem.”
“Why?”
He licked his lips again and his hands flexed against the couch cushions. “You’re skittish and I am afraid I’m going to make you want to get away from me. That’s the last thing I want. I have so much to talk to you about and so many questions I want to ask. I just don’t know how to do it without worrying that I’ll offend or upset you.”
Vanni could relate. She felt the same way, minus the fear of him running away from her. “We’re strangers but we’re not. You’re nervous too?”
“Yes.” He smiled. “What would make you more comfortable with me? Tell me and I’ll do it.”
She smiled back. “I don’t know but I won’t run away. You kind of have me blocked in.”
He didn’t move. “Does it bother you that I’m so close?”
She debated it. “No.”
“Good. We’ll just talk. Do you remember everything that happened at the hotel that night? We’ll start there. At first I did think you drugged me but I believed you when you told me you hadn’t. You actually saved us, Vanni.”
“Saved us?” She shook her head. “How did I do that? We were both drugged and we had sex. I wouldn’t call that a save.”
Smiley regretted the words. He could see Vanni’s distress. That wasn’t the reaction he’d expected. His chest tightened enough to make drawing air difficult. He felt protective of the female but he was the one causing her anguish.
“Easy,” he crooned. He wanted to stroke her but resisted. It was hard not to touch her but he wasn’t sure if she’d allow it yet. He battled his desires, considering her needs. “Just take a few deep breaths.”
She followed his orders and it made him realize just how different she was from Species females. One of them would have punched him already for encroaching on her personal space and for telling her how to breathe. They also wouldn’t get nervous every time he got too close. He knew he should back away and take a seat across the room. He just couldn’t do it.
The scent of Vanni was different from before but it was the products she’d used when she’d showered. He made a mental note to ask her later what kind of things she bought and to obtain them for her. It was low in priority though. He needed to figure out how to get her to let her guard down and let him in.
His gaze dropped to her lap and he muffled a groan. He wanted in, all right. He wanted to push up her shirt and spread her thighs. His dick hardened just thinking about how incredible it would feel to claim her again. One look into her eyes, though, assured him she wasn’t ready to share sex. He’d have to go very slowly and figure out how to deal with Vanni. Just offering to share sex wasn’t an option. He’d have to work up to it.
It was important that Vanni trust him. The little he knew of human females assured him that was the only way he’d be allowed to stay with her. He didn’t want to leave. It would drive him insane if he had to stalk around his apartment while she was at Homeland. Wager and other males aren’t going to take my female. He inwardly winced at thinking of her that way but it was the truth. She was his.
He suddenly felt even more sympathy for the males who’d fallen for humans. It had seemed simple in theory to persuade one of them to allow a male into her bed and heart. The reality of it was anything but easy. Everything he knew about human dating rituals wouldn’t apply at Homeland. He refused to take her out to dinner at the bar. He’d have to punch other males when they attempted to gain her attention. The show of violence might leave her with the impression that he was a vicious male.