Smiley(64)
“I get embarrassed. That’s why I don’t want to talk about this. The only person I gave any details to about that night was my best friend. She’s the only one I’m comfortable discussing sex with. I was a little tender the next morning but it wasn’t because you did anything wrong. I’m fine now.”
“I was too rough.” He winced. “I understand. Thank you for sharing the truth with me. You were so tight that I feared I’d tear you a little. You should have one of our doctors look at you, Vanni.”
His bluntness startled her but she recovered quickly. “You’re very open about things, aren’t you?”
He nodded. “My people believe in total honesty.”
She swallowed and took a deep breath. Her cheeks were probably burning but she was willing to risk a bit of discomfort for Smiley.
“I don’t think I tore. I mean, I’m not in any pain. I just hadn’t had sex in a while. I have a tough time being so direct about sex. We didn’t talk about it in my house growing up. It was kind of taboo.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Mom never brought it up unless you count telling us a stork dropped us off when we were babies. My dad was hardly home. My sister and brother were older so they didn’t say much. It was more of a warning about don’t-let-men-talk-me-into-getting-naked-or-I’d-end-up-pregnant kind of thing. Beth was the one who gave me the sex talk when I was in my teens.”
His eyebrows shot up. “A stork?”
“You never heard that? Parents make up a story for kids to avoid telling them the truth about sex. They say that a big bird flies in and that’s how babies arrive.”
He laughed. “We openly talk about sex. Do you have any questions about me since we shared sex? We’re a little different physically than your fully human males.”
“You’re larger.” She felt her cheeks grow warm.
“Yes. Our muscle density is usually greater and we were engineered to be taller and larger in bone structure than most all your males.”
“I meant…” She couldn’t finish that sentence.
He smiled. “Our dicks?”
She nodded sharply.
“We were genetically designed to be larger all over. We don’t have a lot of body hair either. That is strange since we were given DNA from animals with fur. I’m glad I don’t have fur.”
Vanni grinned. “Yeah. That would kind of suck in the summer when it’s hot.”
Smiley chuckled. “I like it when you let your guard down with me. You have a wonderful smile.”
“So do you.”
His smile faded. “I was sexually attracted to you before the drugs. Were you even a little sexually attracted to me?”
Her mood sobered. “I don’t think we should discuss this.”
“You’re not sexually attracted to me in the least then?”
She stared into his eyes. “Why do you want to know?”
“I’m aroused being close to you. There are no drugs now.”
She gaped a little, astonished that he’d admit that. It took a lot of restraint not to glance down at his lap to see if he meant that in a literal sense.
Smiley hesitated, studying her face. “I wish to touch you and see what is between us without the aid of drugs.”
“That’s a bad idea.”
“Why? I want you, Vanni. I have thought of nothing else since that night.”
“I can’t have sex with you, if that’s what you want.”
Smiley’s shoulders sagged. “You aren’t attracted to me.”
The sad look on his face almost broke her heart. She couldn’t stand seeing him that way. “I am. It’s just that I believe in love before sex. We jumped into it and I don’t know how to feel about that. We’ve been intimate but we know so little about each other. It’s uncomfortable for me.”
“Why? Do you think you’re unable to love me? Is it because I’m not fully human?”
“I don’t even know you.”
He leaned in closer. “We can remedy that by getting to know each other. I’m taking you out tomorrow and we’re here together now. We just need to keep talking.”
She couldn’t deny the logic. “We could try that.”
“Do you believe anything your church says about us?”
“I’m not a member of the Woods Church and the stuff Gregory spewed was horrible.”
“That’s a good start. I know they hate us but I don’t know why.”
“I refuse to repeat that crap again. It was miserable enough telling Justice the kind of stuff they said while I was locked in that room listening to their garbage.”