Smiley(108)

“We can do that too. We’ll wait until we’re at Reservation though. A lot of Homeland is blanketed in cameras. I’d have to beat on any male who saw you naked.” His expression changed to a serious one. “I hope this bucket list doesn’t include sex with other males. I’d do anything for you but that.”

She shook her head, stunned he’d even bring it up. “No!”

“Good. I know humans are into that sometimes but there would be massive blood loss if you put two Species males in the same room as a female in sexual need. We don’t share well and especially if one of them has feelings for her. I wouldn’t just beat on another male. I’d kill him if he even considered touching you. You’re mine.” He studied her. “Does that upset you?”

“No. I’m possessive too. I would never want to be with someone who thought it was okay if we weren’t in a monogamous relationship.”

“Good.”

She twisted a little to get a better look at him. “That’s what we have, right? Monogamy?”

“Yes.” He pulled her closer and hugged her tightly. “I’m not addicted to your scent but it won’t matter. You’re all I want.”

“Addicted to my scent?”

“Remember when I told you I would get addicted to your scent? Canines and felines get addicted to the scent of their females and other ones smell distasteful to them—really bad.” He paused. “I haven’t experienced that with you. I love how you smell but I don’t feel the need to breathe you in constantly. I do want to hold you all the time and be close to you. I miss you when you aren’t with me. You’re my mate, Vanni. You can trust me.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“You’re perfect.”

“I’m not but I’ll try to be the best mate ever. You just need to always be honest with me.”

“That goes both ways. What are your fantasies? I want to check things off your bucket list too.”

“You said yes to being my mate and you’re in my arms. I get to spend the rest of my life with you at my side. That’s all I’ve ever dreamed of. You make me happy and whole, Vanni.”

Tears filled her eyes.

“Don’t do that, my Vanni.” He nuzzled her head with his. “I want you happy.”

“This is happy. Lately I just can’t seem to control it as well as I usually do. I just seem to tear up for any reason.”

He tensed, his muscles tightening. “There’s something I need to tell you. I was afraid to before now because I wanted you to be secure about my feelings for you first. Do you know how much I love you?”

“I think I do.”

He buried his face in the curve of her shoulder, hugging her tighter and drew his legs up to hold her even closer. It kind of scared her.

“What is it?”

He nuzzled her cheek with his and put his lips next to her ear. “Will you please promise me it won’t change things between us?”

That scared her. “Are you sick?” Oh god. Is he dying? Did that horrible drug do something to his internal organs? Vanni panicked. She’d just found Smiley. She couldn’t lose him. It was too cruel.

“No.” He took a deep breath. “I recently learned that the breeding drug can make birth control pills ineffective. You could be pregnant, Vanni. I’d be thrilled. I want a child with you. I would also be fine if you weren’t. I want you either way. Don’t think otherwise. I knew I wanted to spend my life with you and I wanted you to know that before I was told about it. I was afraid you’d push me away and not give us a chance if you found out before right now.”

Was that the reason she seemed to be more emotional than usual? She could be carrying Smiley’s child. She expected unease to set in but it didn’t come. The timing wasn’t perfect. Their relationship had just begun but the idea of starting a family with Smiley was appealing. She’d always wanted to be a mom. It reminded her that she’d almost settled for Carl to accomplish that. She’d never loved him. She was certain of that. Smiley was a whole other story. She did love him.

Smiley held her tightly and started to stroke her thigh. “Are you okay? Talk to me.”

“I bet we’d have cute babies together.”

His hand stilled. “That’s all you have to say? You don’t sound angry.”

She turned her head and he leaned back so she could look at him. “I’m not.”

“You have no idea how much I love you, Vanni.”

She stared into his soulful brown eyes and believed him. “I love you too. We’ll deal with whatever happens together. I’d be totally fine if I am pregnant. Are you going to be? The truth.”