Smash_ A Stepbrother MMA Romance(84)

And it was even worse because I’d wanted it. When his lips touched mine, fire ran down my spine. I’d felt like I was going to burn up with how badly I needed him. My pussy was soaked through the second our skin made contact, and I had known that if I didn’t get out of there right away, then I’d do something I might regret.

I sighed, pulling clothes out and sliding them into drawers. I fantasized about that almost every day, about losing control around him. It was scary but exciting. I loved to picture his strong hands grasping my hips, the calluses on the ends of his fingers rubbing softly against my clit, sending waves of pleasure through my spine.

But that was all I wanted. He was such a jerk most of the time.

Instead of thinking about his body back then, I distracted myself with schoolwork. I drowned my desires in distractions, because what I desired most was the one thing I wasn’t supposed to have.

I looked around my old childhood bedroom and smiled softly. My dad and Cora hadn’t changed a thing about it, which was both great and a little sad. Old Alanis Morissette posters were still hanging on the walls, and although I knew I should take them down, there was something nostalgic and hilarious about their stupid ’90s looks.

I finished putting away my things and climbed into bed. For some reason, I couldn’t stop worrying about Reid. Sure, he seemed pretty good, at least physically. He looked like he was in the best shape of his life, which was a little more than distracting.

But it was the way he alternated between his usual cocky, teasing self and something else, something a little darker. Ever since Cora had been diagnosed with cancer, something inside him had been changing. It seemed like it had only gotten worse.

I sat up in bed and shook my head. I had barely been home for two hours and I was already obsessing about Reid and his moods. Anyway, he was a busy and successful mountain climber. What did it matter what I thought?

I got up and walked downstairs, skipping the creaky step, and walked into the kitchen. Cora was busy chopping onions, tears rolling freely down her face.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “What’s so sad?”

She looked up and smiled. “It’s these stupid onions.”

“I usually stop when I start crying.”

“No use in stopping. I just chop right through it.”

I sat down at the table, laughing, and Cora laughed along with me.

“You look pretty insane.”

“I know, dear. I can’t help it. Watch out, crazy lady with a knife!”

I laughed again. Cora finished chopping and put the onions in a pot.

“So when’s Dad getting home?” I asked.

“Soon. He called my cell not long ago. He’ll make it in time for dinner.”

I nodded. “Okay. Good.”

“Where did Reid go off to?”

“Don’t ask me. It’s not like he tells me anything.”

She shook her head. “He’s been disappearing more and more often lately.”

“Really?”

“Sure. Just walks off into the woods without a second thought.” She paused, frowning. “Sometimes he’s gone for days.”

I looked at her, surprised. Reid was disappearing for days at a time? He had always been independent and strong-willed, but it wasn’t like him to go somewhere without at least telling Cora about it.

“Do you know where he’s going?”

“He says climbing competitions or festivals. Sometimes he’s doing guide work.” She paused. “But I don’t know.”

“Is everything okay?”

She looked up and smiled. “Absolutely. I’m just being stupid. Reid has been stuck here taking care of me for the past few years. It’s not surprising that he wants to do stuff on his own now that I’m doing better.”

I nodded. That made a lot of sense, but still. Cora was obviously worried, and I didn’t blame her. I had barely been around him and yet even I could sense that there was something happening with him.

“Really, how have you been?” I asked her.

“Great. Honestly, I’ve never felt better.”

“I’m so proud of you. I mean, everything that happened. You’re pretty amazing.”

She smiled. “That means a lot.”

“And you know . . .” I trailed off and paused, feeling awkward. “I’m sorry I wasn’t around more. When you were sick.”

She waived her hand, dismissing my concern. “Listen, kid. I know you would have come home in a heartbeat if any of us had asked. But I would have hated myself if you had squandered that opportunity because of me.”

“I know. But still. I should have been here, to help.”

She walked over and sat down in the chair across from me.