Jamie’s brow furrowed. “What internet search?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought...”
Straightening, Jamie positioned herself directly in front of Marsha and stared into her eyes. “What search?”
“The one Shane mentioned,” Marsha said, acting reluctant. “I thought you two would be doing that together, especially since he stayed with you in the motel last night.”
“We were not together. I had my room and Shane had a separate one.”
“Well, of course you did. I just meant, if one of you was going to use the internet at the motel, it would make sense if you joined forces.” She was fanning herself theatrically with her hands. “Mercy, is it hot in here?”
“Not as hot as it’s going to be if I find out your son has been acting against me.”
“Why would he do that?”
“To protect you. He’s told me more than once that he’s only involved in my problems for your sake. He sees himself as his father’s replacement, your guardian.”
Marsha sobered. “I know. He’s very like his daddy in some ways. Men of Sam’s generation tended to see women as needing coddling instead of as equals—or even their betters.” A wistful look led to the beginnings of a grin. “Bless their hearts, they haven’t got a clue what makes us tick. Never did.”
“I’m surprised you haven’t explained it to him.”
That brought a giggle. “Oh, honey, don’t think I haven’t tried. Shane’s heart’s in the right place. He’s just acting the way his daddy used to, convinced he has to be involved in everything I do to make sure it’s done right.”
“That doesn’t drive you crazy?”
Marsha laughed. “Totally bonkers. But he’s a good son and a good man, so I don’t complain. And, now that I have Otis, it’s not as noticeable. I can see my son starting to do it with you, though.”
“Only because he thinks he had to save my life several times.”
“Are you positive he’s wrong?” Marsha was frowning and peering at Jamie. “Shane hasn’t told me half of what I’ve learned from talking to Harlan. You may be in serious trouble, girl. If I were you, I’d be real careful.”
“I’m not going to run away like my mother did,” Jamie declared.
“Fair enough.” Lowering her voice and checking to make sure there were no curious children close by, Marsha said, “Just see that you don’t end up disappearing the way your own daddy did.”
Jamie shivered. Pausing, she gathered her thoughts. “You sound as if you know what happened to him.”
“No, but if my Sam had been leading the investigation he might have gotten some answers. All the town law ever said was that Ray Sr. was missing. Watching your poor mama struggling after that was like standing at a railroad crossing and waiting for a train wreck.
“I was so caught up in my own mourning during that time I probably missed a lot of the signs, but everybody agreed. Alice wasn’t just grieving. She was terrified.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because she never went out, never answered the door or her phone, let the farm go to ruin and eventually took off in the dead of night. Does that sound normal to you?”
Picturing the run-down condition of her former home, Jamie Lynn pressed her lips into a thin line and grew pensive. Finally, she said, “I doubt I’d recognize normal if I had a handbook with pictures and instructions. I grew up thinking right and wrong were easy to tell apart and happiness was what you felt when your mama made your favorite dessert or your daddy fixed a flat tire on your bicycle.”
“A child’s view.” The older woman gave her an encouraging pat. “We all go through stages of growth, Jamie Lynn, and I don’t mean getting taller. In I Corinthians 13, the apostle Paul said he used to think as a child, then put away childish things to press on toward the goal that had been set for him in Christ Jesus. Maybe it’s time for you to consider looking into that.”
“I have a goal,” she insisted. “I intend to find the truth.”
When Marsha reached for her hand and clasped it tenderly, Jamie was emotionally touched. Aunt Tessie was loving, but not at all demonstrative. Since arriving back in Serenity, Jamie figured she’d been hugged and patted and comforted more than during her whole fourteen years away. It was overwhelming.
When Marsha smiled and said, “As long as you’re sure you have the right goal, the one the Lord wants you to pursue, He’ll look after you,” Jamie had no ready reply.
It had been a long time since she’d wondered if she was doing God’s will, let alone was His child. She thought she once had been. And as she’d faced recent problems and dangers, she knew she’d instinctively reached out to the heavenly Father of her youthful beliefs. Was that enough?