But he had.
Obviously, losing Beth had been really hard on him. If I were with him, maybe I could help, but...
Then I was angry. He shouldn’t have done this to me. I’d followed him all over the place, done everything he asked, completely changed my life for him. How dare he leave me alone?
I snatched the money, stuffed it in my pocket, took my duffel bag, and stalked out of the apartment. This was fine, really. I’d been on my own before Griffin showed up. I could do it again. I didn’t need him. I didn’t need anyone. That was the way my life worked, anyway. I took care of myself. I’d been doing that ever since I was a little girl, and I could do it now.
I made my way back to the T. I wasn’t sure where I was going yet, but it wasn’t like I didn’t know my way around Boston. I had money, since Griffin had given me the cash, and I could find someplace to stay for the night while I figured it out. Maybe I’d end up back in Nantucket in the house we’d been in. That had seemed safe.
A guy bumped into me as I was getting on the train. He accidentally brushed against my breast, turned bright red, and said he was really sorry.
I was too mad to reassure him. For all I knew, he’d done it on purpose.
I pushed farther into the train, away from him. But I shouldn’t have worried. He got off on the next stop.
Two minutes later, I reached into my pocket and realized the cash that Griffin had given me was gone.
The guy had taken it, of course. Touching my boob had been a good distraction. I hadn’t even noticed I was being pick-pocketed.
I sank down onto one of the hard seats on the train. This was bad.
Griffin was gone. I was alone. I had no money. There were people after me who wanted to kill me, and they probably knew I was in Boston since they’d almost gotten us at Beth’s apartment. What the hell was I going to do with myself?
I sat there, stunned, the reality of the situation really penetrating my brain. Things were not good. Not good at all. I was in very bad trouble.
Without money, I had nowhere to sleep. I couldn’t get back to Nantucket. I couldn’t get anything to eat. I was screwed.
And I wasn’t angry anymore.
I don’t know if there are words to describe the emotion I felt. I was terrified. I was devastated. I was hurt and betrayed. But mostly, I felt numb, like I’d been dipped in ice water and lost the feeling in my limbs. I knew I should be feeling something, but I wasn’t feeling anything. I was frozen and unable to move forward.
I sat in my daze for a long time. I don’t know quite how long, but the T kept making stops, and people kept getting on and off. I watched them, and time passed, and I still didn’t feel anything.
After a while, my brain started to clumsily try to figure out what I was going to do. I needed food and shelter first, and I needed to be someplace safe, where they wouldn’t be able to get to me.
I doubted there was anywhere safe, not really.
But an apartment building with security was probably the best bet that I had.
Axel’s apartment had security.
We hadn’t parted on especially good terms. I knew that. He’d actually been a total ass to me. But I didn’t have a lot of choices. In fact, if he was angry with me because of the way that I’d acted, I was going to have to grovel.
I had nowhere else to go.
Chapter Fifteen
But when I got there, Axel was asleep. He stumbled out of bed to let me in and told me to take the guest room. “You look awful, babe,” he said, giving me a hug and kiss on the cheek. “We’ll talk later.”
I didn’t know when I had slept last. I didn’t even know what time it was.
I realized that everything that had happened with Beth had just been this morning.
Right.
A few hours and my whole life was ruined and destroyed. That seemed to be a running theme with me lately.
I fell into the bed in Axel’s guestroom gratefully and slept for hours.
When I woke up, it was dark outside, and Axel was standing over my bed with a spoonful of blow. “Need a pick-me-up?”
I sat up, shaking my head. “No more coke.” I needed my head clear. Doing it only made me want more coke. It fucked me up considerably.