But it was too late—he’d seen me.
“Well, I would say good morning to you, Fiona, but…”
Still not in any shape to look at him, I nodded. “I’m fine.”
As I finished, Gabe circled around in front of me. I attempted to avoid him, but he grabbed hold of my arm with a gentle squeeze. He stood in place and looked down at me.
“Doesn’t look like it’s getting off to a good start from here.”
I shook my head, reasserting my earlier statement. “I’ll be fine, really. Don’t worry about it.”
He nodded. “All right, if you say so. Say, um, would you like something to eat? I got breakfast ready.”
“I’m not very hungry, I…”
Gabe interrupted me with a firm tone. “I insist.”
I glanced up at him as he stood there, waiting for me to reply. Emotional though I was, I hadn’t eaten anything at all since breakfast the day before. My stomach asserted itself at last.
“Yes,” I began, as I ran my fingers through my hair, grasping it in a handful to the side of my head. “I’ll be right out.”
With that, Gabe turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
It took me longer than normal to get dressed, but considering the state of mind I’d been in when he discovered me, I needed all the time I could get. Eventually, I made my way out to the kitchen, where I saw Gabe moving with an easy grace as he prepared what smelled like another delicious meal.
He left my episode unmentioned as we ate. I wasn’t sure why, but I was sure at some point Gabe would bring up the topic of the presentation. Choking down a bite of my food, I had a sudden wave of overwhelming doubt about doing it and an even greater uneasiness confessing those feelings to him.
“Were you able to get any sleep?” he asked, breaking my concentration.
I finished my bite as Gabe lingered there waiting for me to reply, his fork resting in silence on the plate.
“Yes,” I began with a curt nod. “I managed to get a few hours, I think.”
Gabe nodded his head in return. “Well, that’s good to hear, because after we’re done with breakfast we’ve got to get to work.”
Knowing full well what he meant, I washed down my most recent mouthful of food with a big gulp of orange juice.
Without wasting any time, Gabe pressed me on the issue. “Are you going to be ready to do that today, Fiona?”
I swallowed hard as I realized what I had to say. As much as I didn’t want to let him down or disappoint him, even the idea of actually having to do the presentation filled me with dread all of a sudden.
“Gabe,” I replied with a deep exhale. “I-I don’t think I’m going to be able to do it.”
Nonplussed, Gabe leaned away from me. “What? Why?”
I dropped my hands in my lap and looked away as he finished speaking. How could I possibly explain this to him? What was I going to say? I sat there in silence for several moments, until Gabe spoke yet again.
“Fiona, I need you to answer me,” he said, as he leaned forward, bracing himself on his elbows atop the kitchen counter. “What’s going on with you?”
“I don’t know,” I began, as I shook my head. “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know, Fiona? How can you not know?” The tone in Gabe’s voice grew angrier with each word he spoke.
“Please Gabe, I’m sorry. Don’t be upset with me.”
His face held a mix of disgust and disbelief as he looked at me. The empathy he’d shown me in the past twelve hours or so appeared to wither from his face, dissipating and transforming into hard lines of frustration.
“Well, let me ask you… How would you feel if you were me, Fiona? What am I supposed to think? Yesterday, everything was fine and you were more than ready to begin working on finalizing the presentation. And now, here you sit, barely twenty-four hours later, telling me you don’t think you can do it?”
“It’s not that—it’s…”
Gabe straightened both his arms and placed his palms flat on the counter top. Glaring down at me he continued, “Well, you need to tell me what it is right now. Not five minutes from now, or an hour from now, but right now—because there is no time to waste.”
I closed my eyes and drew my arms up towards my chest, crossing them as I did.
“Fiona…”
“Okay, okay,” I replied, as I flipped my eyes open. “I just don’t know where to begin.”
“There’s no time to hesitate Fiona. Just tell me what it is.”
I nodded and unfolded my arms from my chest, dropping them into my lap. After a subtle clearing of my throat, I began, “Gabe, I wasn’t expecting any of what happened yesterday. You have to understand how difficult it was for me to tell you about what happened to my family.”