“Fiona,” I warned. “You need to stop right now.”
“Why? It’s true, isn’t it?”
“No, Fiona, it isn’t.”
She shook her head and looked away from me.
“Fiona, I’ve got no issue keeping what goes on between us and what happens in business separate. But it’s clear to me, now, more than ever before, that you do have that problem.”
Without turning to look at me, she mumbled, “My grandmother just died, Gabe. Give me a break.”
“I’ve been trying to do just that, Fiona, but with every chance you get, you seem to want to turn everything back on me.”
“No, that’s where you’re wrong, Gabe. Maybe it’s just taking my grandmother’s death to make me realize what’s really important…” She paused and glared at me. “And, what isn’t.”
“All right, Fiona. Have it your way. I refuse to stand here and be insulted or belittled by you. And so, as of this moment, you’re fired.”
As the words tumbled from my lips, I stared at her for an extra moment or so for emphasis. Fiona’s eyes widened as soon as I finished speaking.
“What?” she said, as she began to shake her head. Irises glimmering in disbelief, she continued, “Fired? Why? You can’t…”
I cut her off.
“I absolutely can, Fiona. You’ve abandoned your role as team leader and taken an unauthorized leave of absence. And don’t pretend that we don’t know why, either.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Gabe?”
“You know full well what I’m talking about. You’ve abused our arrangement. No other employee would have done what you did, unless you believed that I really wouldn’t punish you for it.”
“My grandmother was dying!”
“I realize that, Fiona. You are the one who chose to keep that information to yourself. You are the one who chose not to trust me. I’m not going to stand here and be manipulated by you because you are living under the mistaken belief that what we do insulates you from the same treatment I would give to any other employee. You’ve crossed the line and been disrespectful to me while doing it.”
With that, I turned and began to walk out of the kitchen. As I did, I heard the distinctive sound of the chair scoot across the linoleum floor as Fiona shot to her feet. She called out from behind me as I headed towards the entrance to the apartment.
“No Gabe, please! I-I’m sorry. I-I can’t lose this job. I’ll never survive without it.”
Without turning to face her, I shook my head and wrapped my hand around the doorknob. I twisted it, and yanked the door open. Just as I was about to cross the threshold, I turned towards her.
“Well, you should have thought of that before you took off and before you decided to spend the last ten minutes insulting me.”
As I finished my thought, I walked out into the bright afternoon sun. By then, Fiona had closed to within a couple of feet of me.
“Gabe, wait!” she begged. “What am I going to do? What’s going to happen to me?”
“It’s not my problem, Fiona. Good luck.”
“Gabe! No! Please!!!”
FIONA
As Gabe closed the door, I reached up with a closed fist and banged my hand against it. Turning in place, I leaned into the door with my upper body and slid down its length until I found a seat on the ground. Propping up my knees up, I rested my elbows on top of them and dropped my head into my hands.
Within seconds, tears began to spill once more. But unlike all the other times I’d cried in recent days, this time, the pain came from a place deep inside me. I gasped and gulped for air as I wailed. Shattered, and without any idea of what to do next, I sat on the floor as my entire body rocked in despair.
As if I didn’t already know it, what Gabe had done meant the end of not only my career, obviously, but also of us.
As much as I wanted to tell him how I felt, it just didn’t seem like it would matter. There was no circumstance under which we could wind up together. So, what difference did it make if I told him I was in love with him? It wouldn’t change anything.
I cried for several minutes, maybe five or ten. It didn’t really matter. Eventually, I stood and made my way to the bathroom to get some tissues.
As I walked inside the room, I flipped on the light. Reaching for the box of tissues on the bathroom sink, I tugged out several sheets of it. My breathing began to slow, and for a moment anyway, the intense pain I felt in the moments after he walked out subsided.
I turned towards the mirror and looked at myself.
After blowing my nose and doing what I could to wipe away the inexhaustible supply of tears, I reached down and turned on the faucet. Bending over at the waist, I cupped several small handfuls of cold water and splashed them on my face.