Slide(Boosted Hearts Book 3)(81)

“Nothing you could tell me could change the way I feel about you.”

He brushed her hair back. “I know that, Luce, but what’s wrong with me, it’s not going to just vanish because we’re together. I got shit I’ve been dealing with all my life and it will affect ours—together.”

“Tell me.” He was starting to scare her, but she tried to keep any trace of it out of her voice. She knew she hadn’t succeeded when his gaze softened further.

“You know my mom died when I was in college.”

He didn’t need a response because they all knew this, but she nodded anyway.

“You were still pretty young when it happened and I didn’t want anyone to know the truth. I was ashamed, not of her, never of her, but of myself. Only Hugh and Joe knew, close family. It was kept quiet.” His jaw tightened, lids sweeping down in a slow blink before she had his gaze again. “She suffered from depression, had done her whole life, and when my dad left it got worse. She never recovered from it. He was a lot like me, I guess. Or maybe I’ve tried to be like him. Being like him gave me the excuse I needed to keep everyone at a distance. The man who avoided strong ties, used his looks to get any woman he wanted. My old man was like that. He cheated on my mom…all the time. I knew. She knew. But still, when he finally walked out, she…fractured.”

Lucy slid her hands up the sides of his neck, over his feather tattoo, and brushed her thumbs along his strong square jaw, encouraging him to continue.

“She killed herself, Luce. She lived a life of pain and sadness, locking everyone out, stuck in her own head…until she couldn’t take it anymore and ended it.”

Oh God. “Adam…”

“She did it the day I came home from school for the holidays. I found her lying in her bed.” His head dropped to her shoulder, and she threaded her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and held him tight. “I left her, just like my old man did. I wasn’t there for her, and she ended it. I’ve blamed myself for a long time. It fucked me up. I don’t sleep when I’m on my own. I’m messed up from it in ways I’m still discovering, and that’s not going to change. I failed her.”

She started to shake her head.

“I did, Luce. I knew how bad she was, but I left anyway, left her in the care of other family members, but it was me she needed. I was selfish, desperate to get away, to be free of the constant worry, the fear.” His breathing was choppy. “Then after, I…I became my father. It made it easier, easier to live with the guilt, because he bailed, too, right? He couldn’t deal with my mother, with her illness either. I wasn’t the only one to walk out on her. It made it easier to avoid deep emotional connections, to avoid those kinds of ties.” He gave her a squeeze. “But I wasn’t living the life my mom wanted for me. She told me to make the most of this life. To do what she never could.” His gaze collided with hers, eyes bright. “I wasn’t doing that, Luce. I was running away from it.” He brushed his thumb over her cheek. “I only started living when I let you in. When I had you.”

She blinked, more tears streaming down her face. “Adam, God…I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. But it wasn’t your fault. She made that decision all on her own.”

He shook his head. “No, I—”

“You don’t have to believe me right this minute, but it’s the truth.” She cupped his face. “I love you, so much, and I plan on being there with you when you finally realize that you are not the reason your mom chose to take her own life, that it had nothing to do with you. I plan on making sure you see it. I don’t care how long it takes, I’ll be there. I’ll always be there.”

He pressed his forehead against hers. “Shit, Lucy. You’re the best thing in my life. You’re all I need. All I’ll ever need. As long as you love me, I can get through anything.”

“You have me. You’ll always have me.”





Chapter Twenty-Three





The door to Adam’s apartment banged open hard as he stumbled through, mouth still attached to Lucy’s. Her arms were around him, small curvy body pressed hard against his. Dropping his hands to her soft round ass, he lifted her off her feet, kicked the door shut behind him, and slammed her against the wall.

“Need you,” he said against her jaw, grinding into the softness between her thighs.

Lucy whimpered. “Take me to bed. I want to feel you naked against me.”

He wanted to, but he didn’t think he could move. No way could he stop pressing his cock into her, fucking dry humping against that delicious heat. “Can’t.” Then he ground into her again.