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Sleigh Bells in the Snow(118)

By:Sarah Morgan


“I’m still standing here, so that has to prove something about my judgment. I’ve never been afraid to leap, Kayla, but that’s probably because there’s always been a bunch of people cheering me on. I know you haven’t had that. And I know I’m asking a lot, but I want you to stay, Kayla. Stay and be with me. Don’t go.”

She gave a choked laugh. “Let me get this straight—you’re asking me to give up my job, a job I’ve worked almost a decade to get, a job most people would kill for, to come and live with a man I met a week ago?”

“I’m asking you to think about what you truly want. What truly makes you happy.”

“My job makes me happy.”

“Your job makes you feel safe. You feel in control and it’s important for you to feel in control.” He kept his voice gentle because he wasn’t sure she was ready to hear what he was saying. “You shut people out, because if they’re not in your life then they can’t hurt you. But that isn’t what happiness is, Kayla. Happiness isn’t simply avoiding unhappiness. You can spend your life dodging boulders or you can jump on top of one and take a look at the view. See what you’re missing.”

“Jackson—”

“You came to Snow Crystal because you were miserable. You were lonely. Is that really what you’re choosing to go back to?”

“You’re asking me to give up work—”

“No, I’m asking you to do a different job and do it here, with me. And maybe that doesn’t seem like much of an offer compared to being vice president—” he wondered who thought up those ridiculous damn titles that city marketing companies always used to seduce their staff “—but maybe, there is more to work than a title, a salary and a fancy corner office in a big city. You care about this place—I know you do. I don’t believe this is just another account to you.”

“I think—”

“I don’t want to know what you think because you have the ability to think yourself out of anything.” He pulled her against him, his mouth close to hers, “I want to know what you feel. Tell me what you feel.”

“Right now?” Her voice rose. “Sick.” She was shutting him down. Blocking him out.

“What has the last week meant to you, Kayla?”

“Damn it, Jackson, I warned you I don’t do relationships. You knew—”

“Yeah, you warned me—I broke the rules—” He knew he was pushing her, but he didn’t have the luxury of time and he figured he didn’t have anything to lose that wasn’t already lost. “But are you really telling me it meant nothing? You didn’t check your emails, Kayla. You’ve been laughing and sleeping late. When did you last look in the mirror? Your hair is curling and you have color in your cheeks. You look healthy! Maybe it’s time to take another look at those rules of yours. Maybe it’s time to take a look at a different sort of life.”

“You can’t— I don’t—” she breathed. “It isn’t possible.”

“I know my own mind, Kayla. And you know yours. The question is, will you believe what it’s telling you?”

“I’ve worked hard for what I have.”

“And what do you have, Kayla? A corner office? A stomach ulcer? A salary, but no one to spend it on except yourself? Is that really what matters to you?”

“I love my job.”

“Yes, but you’ve let your job fill your whole life because you’re afraid of what will happen if you don’t. You do that job out of fear. You work those hours out of fear, because you’re afraid that if you don’t keep moving you might just build connections with people, and the next step to that is becoming involved and that terrifies you. You ran away at thirteen and you’re still running away.”

Her face was so white it almost merged with the snow around her. “That isn’t true—”

“I’m offering you a job and a life. And that life includes me.”

“I can’t believe you’re serious.”

“Then maybe this will prove it.” He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the box he’d zipped in there the night before.

“No! Jackson—” She moaned his name and gasped as he flipped opened the box. The diamond sparkled in the winter sunshine. “Oh, God, that’s beautiful.”

He allowed himself a brief moment of satisfaction that he’d got that part right.

“Marry me, Kayla. Stop running, marry me and we’ll build a life together.”

The healthy glow left her cheeks. Her lips were the only stain of colour in her face. She pulled off her glove and her hand hovered over the ring.