“Barney, Sage and Micah have people out lookin’ for you. All for different reasons. They don’t know about this house because it’s in Betty’s name.” Betty is Chutney’s mom. “It won’t be long before they start lookin’ in this neighborhood since your momma lives three blocks over,” Blade explains, like I haven’t figured this all out. But I have to let him get his say in or I’ll make him look bad in front of his brothers.
Ugh, men.
“Far’s I can tell, Micah wants to kill you, Sage wants to protect you and Barney wants to talk to you about gettin’ Talon from us. So we’re here to take you to the clubhouse. Where you’re gonna stay locked up for the foreseeable future,” Blade finishes and I just roll my eyes.
“Whatever,” I state, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning back in the chair. If I fight it, I’ll look like a deranged woman, which they all think I am. Besides, being on lockdown means I can hang out with Lola and Chutney whenever I want. I’ll also have my own room, well, a room I’m sure I’ll be sharing with Damien because heaven forbid he isn’t there to protect me twenty-four seven.
Every one of them raises their eyebrows in perfect correlation. It’s almost comical. “You aren’t gonna fight us on it?” Storm asks, looking at me with narrowed eyes.
I sigh and stand up. “It’s a good idea. I hate lockdown, y’all know that. But I’d rather be at the clubhouse because they won’t come knocking there. If I’m at my mom’s and they start shooting she could get hurt. My baby nephew is there almost every day. I want to be far away from my family.”
I storm out of the room because it wouldn’t be like me to just simply walk out. I have to make some kind of exit.
***
I sit in the middle of Damien’s truck between him and Storm. Chuck sits in the bed of the truck with his tongue hanging out. Blade and Bastard ride in front of us. Charlie and Taylor ride behind us. It’s my very own personal entourage.
Damien keeps trying to hold my hand but I won’t let him. I may have fucked him last night but that doesn’t mean we are totally back together. Some thing’s can’t just be worked out with our bodies. We’re going to have to open our mouths and speak about some of this shit.
For starters; “Why did you think I wanted to be with you and Victor at the same time? Did I ever give you that impression? Did I talk constantly about Victor after he and I broke up? Actually, I don’t think I spoke about him at all. In fact, I didn’t even cry when my mom called to tell me he was shot.”
Damien sighs and I watch his hands grip the steering wheel harder. “Do you seriously want to have this conversation right now?”
I about crack my neck when I turn it so hard to look at him. “Yes, I want to fucking talk about this now. I’m going to be forced to be here for a long period of time. I’d rather not have an audience.”
“Umm, I’m here,” Storm throws in with a smile in his voice
“You don’t count,” Damien and I say at the same time.
“But seriously. What was your problem? I never even gave you any doubt about my loyalty to you. I would have killed myself before I cheated on you.” Even talking about it makes me so damn angry I want to punch his face in. “I didn’t want Victor! I wanted you and only you! Hell, I didn’t even want Victor when I got back with him!” I scream, causing Damien to jerk the truck a little.
“Jesus Christ, woman! I was insecure, okay! Fuck!” Damien exclaims, pounding his hands against the steering wheel. “I couldn’t give you what he could. It was always a problem for me. He had the money and he was off fightin’ a war for our fuckin’ country. I didn’t feel like I could compete. I’m fuckin’ sorry, okay?”
I start pounding against his shoulders. I hit him as hard as I can, lots of time. Storm wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me back. “I love you, you fucking idiot! I loved you then, I love you now! I wanted you when I had to settle for him! Do you know what that did to me? I had to make myself into a girl I didn’t want to be just to please him. Just to please my family. I had freedom with you. I had peace with you! Fuck, if you had just stopped to think we wouldn’t have wasted five fucking years!” Tears fly out of my eyes and I don’t even care if they can both see. For once my tears don’t make me weak. They make me alive and they free the demons inside of me.
“Fuck Ashley! I thought you let this all go! I watched you do it last night!” he shouts and pulls the car into the clubhouse parking lot. “Fuckin’ get your hands off of her, Ryan. I’ll blow your fuckin’ brains out.”