I guess you’ll get all the facts at some point, but right now what I did isn’t part of the story. Besides, it’s time to talk about Annabella.
Annabella was best friends with my brother Courtney and dating my brother Donovan. Thankfully she didn’t have anything to do with my half-brother Channing. Then one day, it turns out she was sleeping with Courtney behind Donovan’s back. It was hard to be upset with Courtney over that. The way Court looked at Annabella was downright the most romantic thing I have ever seen. He was in love with her, like he wouldn’t love anyone else again, kind of love.
Then she fucked everything up even more. She had an abortion and got addicted to meth. And this all came to light on Courtney’s wedding day. Turns out we were all wrong, he could love again. And love better and stronger.
Victor and I had already split from each other at this point. I was tired of him enabling Annabella. He let her do whatever she wanted and didn’t punish her at all when she messed up. A few months later he told her to choose the drugs or him and she chose the drugs.
Then he wanted me to move back in with him. Just be with him after all of that. I was no longer in love with him by that point. I mean, part of me will always love him. I couldn’t just throw a life-long relationship away and not love him. I just couldn’t be with him. I resented him for making me feel guilty when he was keeping horrible things from me. I resented him for not taking care of Annabella sooner. He shouldn’t have let it get so bad.
I shouldn’t have let it get so bad.
A year ago I thought we would get back together. We were dating like we never got to. He picked me up from my mother’s house and took me on actual dates. It was the time of my life. We got to act like the silly teenagers we would never be again. I was happy to give that to him. He never got to act like that, not ever. He grew up too soon and had a little sister to raise.
Then he asked me to marry him for the last time. He even said that. He said he would never ask me to marry him again.
I told him no, even though I wanted to say yes.
He walked away from me without a backwards glance.
To this day he still doesn’t know what I’ve done.
Why I said no.
Because I’m already married.
***
When we arrive at the Wrath MC clubhouse, I almost throw up. Every motorcycle in the greater Dallas area seems to be parked in the lot. I hop up from Lola’s bike and back a few feet away. “What’s going on?” I know it has to be big. Even after four years I’ve never been called in for a lockdown.
Lola smirks at me. “I could tell you but you’re not a part of the club anymore.”
I roll my eyes. “If I’m not a part of the club then why the fuck am I here? This looks like I’m a part of the club, whether I want to be or not.”
Storm comes up behind me and gently pushes me towards the front doors of the clubhouse. “That’s the point, Glossy. You don’t want to be a part of the club.”
I guess he’s right. If I had wanted to be a part of this place I would have stayed with Rage. Rage being my husband of four years. The marriage I’ve been hiding from my family and Victor. I would have just gotten divorced but Rage wouldn’t sign the papers even after I had them served. My entire family would have found out. I kept hoping he’d find someone else to settle down with. Some pretty little thing that would want to marry him and have his babies.
I guess you could say I repressed it. I pushed it into the back of my mind and went on with my life like the two years I was with Rage didn’t happen. It was the right thing to do. The two of us didn’t fit together in a relationship. I wanted to be independent and he wanted to control everything.
That’s what’s wrong with both of the men I’ve loved. They wanted me to be the housewife who took care of the kids. I just can’t do that. I have to have my freedom. I want to leave the house whenever I want. I want to speak my mind and party whenever I want. Not that I party all the time, but I would like the option.
It was like that at home too. Well, until all my brothers moved out. They were way too overprotective and they are all younger than me. Thankfully Donovan is off at college, Court got married and has a baby and Channing followed his girlfriend to Boston for college. I don’t have them breathing down my neck anymore.
My father, before he passed away, was controlling too. I never got to go outside and play like a little girl should. I had to take French lessons and piano lessons. He died when I was seven but my parents were divorced by then. My mom, thankfully, didn’t care if I brought home sick animals and got mud all over the house. She actually encouraged it.