With Damien, it’s equal. We strive to please the other one before we please ourselves. Though we haven’t had sex yet. I want to make sure I’m not just rebounding with Damien. I want us to be real, have a real connection. I want this relationship to be healthy.
I don’t want to be needy with Damien like I was with Victor. I want to stand next to him, not behind him. I have to have all that before I take the next step. Sex means something to me and I want it to mean the most to both of us.
“Fuck, baby. You’re drivin’ me crazy,” Damien whispers against my ear. His tongue comes out to lick the shell of my ear and I groan.
The best part about all of this? Damien doesn’t push me. He doesn’t ask anything of me I’m not willing to give. He takes his time with me, getting me right on the edge and then he backs off. He might be driving us both crazy, but I know it’ll only make the actual act that much better because he’ll already know my body, probably better than I do.
I don’t know why I listened to my mom about bad boys. I should have done this a long time ago. Damien may cuss like a sailor, grab my ass in public, glare at guys who look at me even with nothing but friendliness, refuse to let me drive my own car when he’s in it, steal cars and carry a wicked looking gun, but he still gives a shit about me. He wants to know what I’m thinking and how I feel about things. He’s not aggressive towards me and he holds my hand in front of his friends. His little brother might give him shit for that, but Damien doesn’t care.
“I like driving you crazy,” I tell him, grinding my hips into him as I straddle his waist. “You make the sexiest noises.”
He grins up at me and tugs my face back down to his by my hair. “I like it too. Every time I see you, I get hard as a rock. That’s all it takes and I can’t wait to get you under me.” He kisses me deeply and then pulls away slowly. His eyes watch my lips, “Most beautiful bitch in the world.”
I place my hands on his face and run my nose along his. “You make me that way. You make me happy and it flows out of me, making me glow. It’s like my body wants everyone to know how you make me feel.” I’ve learned to ignore the “bitch” remark, it’s how he and his whole club talk.
“You say the sweetest shit, baby girl.” We both laugh, but before long our lips are touching and his tongue is in my mouth.
That’s when my bedroom door bursts open. Thinking it’s one of my little brothers or Annabella, I throw the blankets over us. I’m not wearing a shirt after all.
“Ashley, I think it’s time your friend went home.” The cold voice of my mother rings from my bedroom door.
I look at her from over my shoulder and roll my eyes. “You get to have overnight guests, why can’t I make out with my boyfriend till curfew?” I graduated high school two weeks ago and I still have a curfew. I really need to get my own place.
“No, your boyfriend is in Iraq. Do you really want Annabella to come in here and see this? What would she tell Victor?” She places her hands on her hips and glares at me. I don’t look that much like my mother. Her skin is tan and her hair is light brown, almost blonde. Her eyes are green and she’s short. Which makes me feel even more like an outsider. Both my brothers look just like her. I look like my dad.
I sigh because I knew this was coming. She doesn’t believe that I broke up with Victor. Not that I blame her. Like everyone else she thought the two of us were madly in love. It’s the things people want to see that will hurt them the most when it turns out it wasn’t even true. “Victor and I broke up. Weeks ago.”
“You can’t just break up with a man while he’s off at war. That’s the worst thing you can do to someone,” my mom states, still glaring at me.
I throw the blanket off of Damien and I. I get off of him and then off the bed. I find my t-shirt hanging off the corner of my dresser and I quickly toss it on. “Yeah, well, I couldn’t deal with it Mom. He didn’t even think about me when he left, he was only thinking about Talon. Victor doesn’t understand what love is and I got tired of trying to explain it to him. You just can’t love someone who is holding you back.” I look at her from under my lashes while I deliver the next blow. “You’d know all about that wouldn’t you?” My father cheated on her. Though I guess his sex addiction was the cause of that. I don’t really know because I was really young at the time.
And let’s not even talk about my dead stepfather.
“Ashley, I just can’t stand to see you ruining your life. This isn’t you. My daughter doesn’t act like this.” Her eyes plead with me to understand now. She thinks she’s right and I’m wrong.