Sleepless Nights(14)

I turn back to serve another person and Damien puts his hand on my shoulder, causing an earthquake throughout my body. “I’ll do those things with you. I’d never let you be lame. I promise.”

I want to think he’s joking but I can see the seriousness in his eyes. I know it’s not a good idea though. We should stay far away from each other. He’s bad for me. If I spend too much time with him, then I’ll end up being a skank. As it is, I can’t go five seconds without creaming my underwear around the guy.

But Victor’s not here. Victor chose his best friend over me, more than one time. I think it’s about time I pick my life over Victor.

“I want to get drunk first.”



Damien



“What’d she tell you Princess?” I ask my little sister later that night. I took Glossy back to her car after our shift in the kitchen. I don’t think I’ve ever felt anythin’ like it. Glossy bein’ on the back of my bike is out of my comfort zone. I don’t wanna get close to her. I wanna keep her at arm’s length and pretend I could help her cheat. But I know I can’t. I meant what I said. I hate cheaters.

I know the brothers have old ladies and girlfriends. Some of them even have an old lady and a wife. I watch those women struggle with their love for the man. I couldn’t let the woman I love watch me make moves on another woman. I guess you can call me soft when it comes to women. I learned that from my momma. My Pop has always been in my life but my momma raised me by herself. Pop paid child support and he helped raise me but I lived with my momma. She taught me to be sensitive towards female feelings and she put into perspective what a woman goes through when a man cheats.

I seriously couldn’t do that to a female.

Chutney, the light of my life, starts hoppin’ around her room while I sit on her bed. I know she’d rather be listenin’ to music and learnin’ the lyrics right now but she’s gonna have to learn to spend time with other people. Her whole life is music but sometimes she takes it too far. She can’t live her life in this room with her headphones on. She has to socially interact.

“She talked about her brothers. She didn’t talk to me about the boyfriend. Mostly she let me talk and that was pretty awesome. You and Ryan don’t ever want to talk about what I want. That gets annoying.” She twirls around the room probably singin’ one of her songs in her head.

I chuckle at her. I was really upset when Pop told me he was havin’ another kid and that kid was gonna be a girl. Mind you, I was four at the time. Ryan was two and I thought it was awesome havin’ him around. I didn’t want another little person to look after. I wanted it to be me and my bro against the world.

Then little miss Chutney was born. Chutney’s mom has always intimidated me. She’s always been a sexy woman, but Betty has this aura about her. You don’t fuck with her and you don’t fuck with her family.

I’ll never forget though when she sat Ryan and I down to talk about the baby. I remember her bein’ huge in the stomach so she must have been close to poppin’ Chutney out. Betty had Pop livin’ with her at the time so we were there for our weekend visit. She asked if we wanted to feel the baby kick and while I was cautious about it, she wasn’t. She grabbed my hand and placed it to her stomach. Then this little bump moved under my hand and my eyes got wide. “That’s your little sister Damien,” Betty said to me, and I was in love. I hadn’t even set eyes on Chutney yet.

I was there when they brought her home from the hospital. And Betty set Chutney down in my lap and I knew I’d die before I let anythin’ happen to her. And I remember whisperin’ that to her while she slept in my arms. Then she opened her eyes, eyes the exact color of mine, and it was over. I was smitten and I didn’t want to ever let her go.

Of course, now I wish Chutney would grow up some but I know that’s not goin’ to happen anytime soon. Fourteen year olds aren’t known for their maturity. “Well you’re annoyin’ with all the talkin’ you do. We’re only feedin’ it back to you.”

She turns to me with a look of outrage on her face. “You don’t tell a lady somethin’ like that!” She slaps my arm but not hard. I don’t think Chutney could ever bring herself to hit anyone hard.

I chuckle again and pull her against me. I wrap my arms around her and put my face on her shoulder. “When you gonna stop growin’ up? I remember when you were toddlin’ around after Ryan and me. Now you barely want anythin’ to do with us.”

She puts her face in my neck and sighs. “I’ll never stop growin’. You know that right? And one day I’ll go on my first date, graduate high school and get married. I’ll have babies with that man I marry and there’s not a darn thing you can do about it.”