He shook his head. “I had a lady leave her wereanimal lover for me.”
I smiled; I couldn’t help it. “That must have happened in the last two years because when we first met, you were a little insecure about my werewolf lover.”
He shrugged and spread his hands. “What can I say, I am as good as I think I am.”
That made me laugh. “Oh, nobody’s that good.”
“Are you saying I’m conceited?”
“Yep.”
He laughed, then his face sobered, and he turned so that some stray patch of light caught his face. He was suddenly serious, painted in shadows and light like some abstract photo. “No brag, Anita, just fact. I’d love to prove that to you someday.”
“I do not need to have the other cops hear that kind of shit from another man right now.”
“I’m still willing to help you feed.”
“I thought you were creeped by what happened with Morgan.”
He frowned, thinking about it. “I was.”
“I thought that would make you take the offer to feed the ardeur off the table.”
He frowned harder, making creases between those big, dark eyes. “Yeah, actually I thought it had changed my mind.”
“So, why the renewed offer?”
“Habit, maybe.” But the frown stayed.
I had an idea, and not a good one. I did need to feed soon. In fact, I should have felt more energized, less “hungry,” because Victor was supposed to have helped share his energy with me. But maybe all he’d been able to do was help me heal. I’d used up a lot of energy healing and fighting, and Belle Morte had been right about me feeding only the minimum to get by lately. We were also past the twelve-hour mark, when food was usually a good thing. Then I realized that I hadn’t eaten any solid food, either. Shit, I knew better than that. One hunger did feed the other, and if I didn’t eat enough real food, both my beasts and the ardeur rose faster and stronger. I knew this, but in the middle of a case, it was hard to find time to be human. Was I accidentally shopping for food now? Was I trying to bespell Bernardo without knowing it? It was the not knowing that creeped me the most.
“I need to get some food.”
“You can eat after seeing that?” He didn’t motion at the body; it was just implied really loudly.
“No, I’m not hungry.”
“Then I…”
“If I don’t eat solid food often enough, it makes it harder to control all the other hungers,” I said.
“Ah,” he said, then frowned. “I’m thinking something really inappropriate, even for me.”
“Do I want to know?” I asked.
He shook his head. “You’d be pissed.”
If it was bad enough that Bernardo wouldn’t say it out loud, then it was bad. That he’d thought of it, then thought better of it, was a sign that something was wrong. I was betting that I was what was wrong. Was the ardeur calling to Bernardo? I didn’t even know how to tell.
“Okay, let’s get back to… Ted, and see if we can get the files we need from the locals.”
“If you want to eat tonight, it has to be before we see more crime photos.”
“Agreed,” I said.
We turned and started walking back toward the knot of men and the remains of Vittorio’s latest victim.
54
MORGAN WAS SAYING, “You’ll have everything you need in a couple of hours, but we have to finish up here.”
“Call someone,” Edward said.
Shaw was a little bit down the alley talking to some of the crime scene techs. It was just Thurgood and Morgan to watch us come closer and frown. Morgan just seemed generally cranky, but Thurgood had passed to hostile.
“We’ll get you the information, but you’ll have to wait until one of us gets back to the station.”
“Why?” Edward asked.
“Because you’re going to have to borrow one of our computers, and someone’s going to have to babysit you.”
“You don’t trust us with paper copies?” I asked.
“We don’t trust you,” Thurgood said.
“So much for my sisterhood.”
“I am not your sister,” she said. “Women like you make it harder for the rest of us to do our jobs. Women like you make it harder for us to be taken seriously by the other cops.”
“Women like me,” I said. “What does that mean?” I knew, but I wanted to see if she’d say it out loud.
“Anita,” Edward said.
I said, “What?”
“You know what you are,” she said.
Morgan said, “Thurgood.”
“I know what you think I am,” I said.
“That’s enough,” Edward said. “Both of you.”