When I arrived at the police station, I was told the captain was in a meeting and that I would have to wait in the lobby. Fine. I could wait him out. If I had to sit there all day, I was not leaving this station until I knew what the captain was up to.
I dived into my bag and fished out my phone so I could at least do something semi-productive while I waited. After I found my favorite icon, I waited for Bejeweled to load and proceeded to kick some sparkling ass.
A voice filtered toward me through my mesmerizing grid of jewels.
“Your aura is very bright.”
I glanced up at the woman sitting across from me. She looked normal enough, with short blond hair and sensible shoes, but most people who mentioned auras weren’t that normal.
“Thanks,” I said, going back to my game.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” she continued, despite my super big hint that would suggest she not.
“Really? That’s weird.”
“Actually,” she said, “I know who you are. We’re a lot alike. I’m here to help them with a case, too.”
I nodded.
“What I mean to say is, I know you’re psychic.”
I finally paused the game and asked, “Are you punking me?”
“No, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. I’m psychic, too.”
“Is Pari punking me?”
She pulled her bag closer to her chest. “No.”
“Is Cookie punking me? It’s not in her nature to punk, but I find everyone has a little bit of punk buried deep down inside them.”
“No.”
“Is Swopes punking me?”
“No, I actually am a psychic.”
“Is—?”
“No!” she said, her voice echoing throughout the room A nice couple who looked like they’d done one too many hits of methamphetamines looked over at us. She lowered her voice to a hissy whisper. “Nobody’s punking you!”
“Gah, testy.”
She loosened her hold on her bag and smoothed her pants with one hand. “I just thought maybe we could work together sometime. We both provide a service for law enforcement. Like the case they called me in for. We could team up and solve it together.”
I decided to fess up, to give her a chance to come clean or suffer the consequences. “Look, I know who you are, too, Ms. Jakes. I’ve seen your show.” Wynona Jakes was getting very rich off her abilities, and it made my skin crawl every time I thought about it.
“You’ve seen my show?” she asked, brightening.
“Sure have. You’re what I like to call a con artist, a person with a natural talent for reading people coupled with some fairly good acting skills.”
“Well,” she said, straightening in her seat to show me how appalled she was, “I thought you of all people would understand what it’s like to be accused of deception when our gifts are very real.”
“I know exactly. And I’m certain you don’t. I’ve seen what happens when your ‘predictions’—” I added air quotes to emphasize the euphemism. “—don’t pan out. I saw a young couple lose their home because they believed you when you told them to invest everything they had in their crazy uncle’s pilot project.”
“That was hardly—”
“And I saw a mother praise you because you said her son, who’d been in a motorcycle accident and was in a coma at the hospital, was going to pull through.” I leaned forward and looked her square in the eye. “He died while she was at the studio listening to your garbage. Do you know what that did to her? The guilt she felt? The shame and devastation?”
She turned away from me, the remnants of her outrage rolling out of her like a summer heat.
“Look,” I said, trying not to feel guilty for calling her on what boiled down to fraud, “I get it. You’re looking for a book deal. To each his own. I’d be angrier if you were legit and using your gifts immorally, but in answer to your question, no, I won’t team— Wait. Did you say they called you in to help on a case?”
“Yes.” She raised her chin and smirked. “A Detective Davidson called me. He said he saw my show and wanted to consult with me on a missing persons case.”
“Detective Dav—?”
“Ms. Jakes?” the desk sergeant said before I could sputter out the rest of Uncle Bob’s title.
She rose. “Yes.”
“Detective Davidson will see you now.”
My jaw dropped to the floor. The desk clerk pointed the way to Ubie’s office just as my backstabbing uncle stepped out to wait for her. He shook her hand when she got to him, then placed his other hand at the small of her back and led her inside.