Six of Hearts(94)

Her voice is quiet when she replies, “No, that’s not what I’m doing. Please don’t tell Jessie I said that.”

“Why do you care if I do? You said yourself you’re not attached to her.”

“Yes, but it’s just…okay, look, you know how sometimes you have this ideal of the person you want to be with? For example, you always go for hunky metrosexuals. But then you meet a work colleague who’s sort of nerdy and doesn’t know a thing about style or looking good. You immediately dismiss this person as a romantic interest and put him in the friend zone. But then you get to know him better, and as time passes by, you start to form a crush, because his personality, or something about him, like, his inner soul or whatever, just gets to you. And then all of a sudden you find yourself developing serious feelings for this person, feelings you never expected.”

“So, Jessie’s the work nerd?” says Jay, his mouth curving into a pleased smile.

Michelle’s eyes widen, like she can’t believe she just said all that. “What? No. That’s not what I meant.”

All Jay does is raise an eyebrow, and she’s done for. Her fluster gets the better of her.

“Okay, okay, so maybe Jessie is the nerdy work colleague. Not that she’s nerdy or anything like that. But God, the girl is just so cool, and she makes me laugh so much. I’m starting to think that we don’t fall for looks or gender in the end. We fall for the person as a whole. We fall for their souls.”

Well, that was quite…deep.

I slam my cup down on the table. “You’re falling for her?”

Michelle groans and covers her face with her hands. “Jesus, how the hell am I admitting all this?” She drops her hands and points a finger at Jay. “You’re a fucking sneak. You did this. You knew I was hiding something.”

Jay sips on his coffee. “Hey, I was only making conversation. I had no idea what the deal was, thought you were just a lesbi-tourist.”

“I prefer the term ‘bi-curious,’ if you must know.”

Jay laughs into his coffee cup. “Sounds like there was a lot more than curiosity going on.”

She looks at him with annoyance for a moment before turning her tortured gaze to me. She takes my hands in hers. “Oh, God, Matilda, how the hell has this happened? I’ve spent years going out looking for men, and in the end it was a woman who got to me. I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“It’s ironic, really,” says Jay, deadpan.

I give him a silencing look before turning to Michelle. “This isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s a great thing. To have genuine feelings for another person is wonderful. Doesn’t it feel good? It must feel good. Who cares if she’s a woman?”

I can feel Jay watching me intently as I say this, and yes, in a way I am talking about having feelings for him.

Michelle lets out a trembling sigh. “It feels like the best thing and the worst thing all at once. I don’t know what to make of it at all.”

I rub her hands in mine and turn to Jay. “You’re Jessie’s friend. Do you think she should tell her how she feels?”

“Sure. Go for it.”

Hmm, I’m not certain if that’s the best advice.

Michelle draws away, sitting up straight in her seat. “No, I’m going to wait for a while. I don’t want to rush things. Besides, I’m still trying to figure out how I feel, what’s going on with me.” She glances at her watch. “Oh, crap. Look at the time. I have to get going.”

“Okay, well, let’s meet up after work and talk some more, ’kay?”

“Yes, that sounds good,” she says, standing and leaning down to give me a peck on the cheek. “I’ll call you later.”

And with that, she’s gone. I turn my attention to Jay, who’s sitting back now and watching Ellen and Portia as they chirp at him from their cage by the window.

“Well,” I sigh. “You certainly have a talent for getting people to tell the truth. It’s a pity I don’t have that skill.”

He turns his head to face me and grips my knee, running his thumb back and forth over my tights. “You said you could wait, darlin’.”

I sniff, remembering the decision I made last night to be patient with him. “I can.”

“Well, then, stop trying to guilt-trip me. It won’t work.”

“Fine.”

His handsome eyes probe me before moving down to my neck. Reaching out, he runs his thumb over the bruise. “Sorry about this. Don’t know my own strength sometimes.”

“It’s okay,” I whisper. “No harm was done.”