Six of Hearts(35)

I look down at my list: funny, smart, protective, motivated, and handsome.

Jay nudges me with his shoulder. “How are you doing so far?”

“Well, I am the handsomest lady I know, so that’s a start.”

“And I’ve got a fucking awesome rack, but remember, we have to leave out anything related to appearance.”

“Right,” I reply, half laughing as I bite my lip nervously.

“So…?”

“I’m not very good with self-analysis.”

“Let me see.”

I hand him the list, and he looks it over. “Funny? Check. Smart? Check. Protective? Check. You’re always looking out for your dad. Motivated? Check again. I don’t know anyone who’d work a forty-hour week and then come home every evening to work more on making dresses.”

“Jay! I hate to admit it, but you’ve just made me quite like myself.”

He frowns. “Why wouldn’t you like yourself?”

“I don’t know. Self-loathing is kind of a human disease, isn’t it? I mean, I wouldn’t be here right now if I went around thinking I was flipping fantastic all the time. If I did that, I’d have no trouble picking up men.”

Jay’s about to say something when Simon starts to speak again. “Well, how did you all do?”

There are a number of grumblings from the audience. “Yeah, I get it. We’re all guilty of wanting the perfect person, but we never think to look inward and see how totally imperfect we are ourselves. But that’s okay. The key is to be constantly trying to improve. None of us are ever going to be perfect, so let’s cut that thought out right there. All we can really do is try to be the best version of ourselves that we can possibly be. We need to be comfortable in our own skin, and when we achieve that, we suddenly become more attractive to the opposite sex.

“Take me as an example. When I was younger, I had zero confidence. I might as well have been invisible to women. I didn’t believe in myself, and believing in yourself is the most important thing. One day I walked into a shop and bought a self-help book. It was nothing special, but it planted the seed in me to become what I am today.”

He continues with a few more anecdotes, though it feels more like an opportunity for him to waste a bit of time patting himself on the back. I don’t really come away with anything useful. Then we’re broken up into groups to role-play. One of us is the guy and the other is the girl, and we have to pretend we’ve just met in a bar or some similar environment. The one playing the girl has to take the lead in chatting the “guy” up. And yes, it’s just as painful as it sounds.

I get stuck doing it with a woman wearing a paisley shirt and a corduroy skirt, while Jay is practically bombarded with women who want to role-play with him. Surprise, surprise. In the end, though, he pairs up with the blonde who’d been sitting beside him.

I still have a slight urge to stab her with my pen.

I hardly get to speak to Jay for the entire two hours, and then it’s already lunchtime. I’m making my way out of the ladies’ room and heading toward the hotel restaurant when he appears from behind a column. He immediately links his arm through mine and leads me in the opposite direction.

“Hey, soooo, I was thinking we’d do lunch at the café across the street. Turns out you were right about the stampede.”

I burst into laughter that’s full of “I told you so’s.” “What happened?”

“I got asked to eat with about ten different chicks. One started squeezing my bicep, and another actually pinched my ass.”

“Oh, God, lucky you. Okay, I suppose we don’t have to eat here if it’s all too much for you.”

Jay raises an eyebrow. “Is that a challenge, Watson?”

“Why, I do believe it is, Holmes.” My grin couldn’t get any wider.

“Fine. We’ll eat here, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

When we enter the restaurant, I can practically feel the eyes on us like laser beams. Jay makes sure that we get a table only big enough for two in the far corner of the room. A waiter comes along quickly to take our orders and then leaves just as swiftly.

“Ah, I’m starving. I hope the food comes soon,” I say just before the blonde Jay had been partnered up with appears at the table.

“Hey, mind if I join you?” she asks.

Jay coughs. “Sorry, Joanne, but I don’t think there’s room.”

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll manage to squeeze myself in somewhere,” she tells him with a wink.

“We’ve already ordered, and I actually came today to support my friend, Matilda. So, if you don’t mind….”