And he only knew because she wrote how Calydon spurned her after taking her innocence, and that in her anger she wedded Stanhope. Then she had continued her affair with Calydon. She had told Lucan how her husband had beaten and tormented her after he realized she was still seeing Calydon. Lucan had been in the Americas when he received that letter, he had almost expired from horror, and traveled back to London immediately. But while he had been traveling back he intercepted her last letter to him, and realized he had lost his sister.
To now relinquish his anger against Calydon, and to recognize that he must have been as young and reckless as Marissa, was an idea that would take Lucan years to resolve. But he was willing to try, for Constance’s sake. He had to try.
“Lucan?”
He faced her and cupped her cheeks. Her eyes flared wide and the hope in them made his chest constricted. He was a damnable fool to make such a treasure slip from his grasp because of fear. “I was an insufferable ass for suggesting you wed another, forgive me.” He moved closer to her. “Will you marry me, Constance?”
A grin split her face. “Yes.”
There was no hesitation, and the surety of her response and the joy in her eyes humbled him. He would endeavor to make her the happiest of woman.
“I will visit tomorrow and call upon your father, then I will speak with your brother.”
She nodded, then laughed, infecting him with her happiness. Lucan dipped his head and pressed a soft kiss against her lips, burying the need to blurt the truth of his involvement in her pain and ostracism from society. He would unburden all to her, but not today. A deep part of him wished he would never have to reveal it, but he would not start their life together with deception.
For now, he basked in the sweetness of her kiss and the comfort of her touch, knowing he would face the day he had to reveal all his sins to her.
Chapter Sixteen
The cheery gathering in the breakfast room was for Constance’s benefit. She understood that, and loved her family for their support, but she pled a headache and took a tray into her room. She wanted to tell her family Lucan would be calling, but knew it was best to remain silent. While he had promised to speak with her father, he had not mentioned anything in relation to his sister and Sebastian. It was as if Lucan simply closed away the raw grief she had seen in his eyes, where she knew it would simmer and seethe with the possibility of exploding into something horrible one day. They all needed to discuss it as a family, but no one was confiding in her. She hoped after Lucan called on her father and brother, an amicable resolution would be found.
With the need beating in her to understand the rife between her love and her brother, she had sought out Jocelyn, and spoke of what had been overheard between Sebastian and Anthony in the library. Constance had also told her of Lucan’s visit, and all that had been said between them after securing her promise to remain silent. Jocelyn had in turn tried to shed some light on Marissa and Sebastian’s relationship. Constance did not comprehend fully what paramours did, but what made it all more shocking was that Marissa had been married. Sebastian had an affair with a married woman. Constance could hardly credit it.
It had not been easy for Jocelyn to speak, Constance had seen that. And she had been grateful Jocelyn had confided in her. For Constance had already realized Sebastian would omit the details. Before breakfast she and Sebastian had taken a turn in the gardens where he had shared some of his past with her. He told her Marissa had been his dear friend whom he lost. Dear friend. Constance had bitten her lips so as not to blurt out that she was well aware of what Lucan’s sister was to him, and that there was no need to spare her the details.
She looked at the folder gripped so tightly in her hands.
Do I want to know?
She had not meant to eavesdrop on her brothers again. She had only intended to confess to Sebastian that she had overheard him and Anthony, and to ask him to somehow resolve the storm that was still brewing between him and Lucan. It had also been her intention to inform him that Lucan would be offering for her. She’d heard Anthony informing Sebastian that the report on Lucan was completed. She’d had no intention of stealing the report until Anthony asked if they should inform her of what they found. Sebastian’s “no” had been unequivocal. Disappointment and frustration had surged in her. Even with everything crumbling around them, her brothers still thought it necessary to withhold information.
She had made quick work of stealing into Sebastian’s chamber and finding the folder. She knew she needed to read it and discreetly return it before breakfast was over. Constance sat on the chaise in her chamber, ignoring the food on the small table by the window. She flipped open the report, amazed at what had been gleaned in as little as three days.