Nancy went on, “The couple of times she was here, there was this weird vibe between the two of you. Not to mention that dream you had. Now, the drawings…”
I was sick of living a lie. If Nancy and I were going to continue to be together, she needed to know everything. From her perspective, it would probably explain a lot about how I acted in general.
Leading her over to the couch, I said, “Forget the dishes and come sit down for a minute.”
Over the next hour, I proceeded to tell her the full story about Evangeline and Elle from start to finish, leaving nothing out. Even though a part of her was mortified, she seemed relieved to not have to wonder about my strange behavior toward Evangeline anymore.
“Do you still love her?”
I looked straight into her eyes and told the absolute truth. “Yes. I don’t think that will ever change.”
Nancy seemed truly affected by my revelation. “Wow. This is all so much to take in. I don’t know what to say.”
“To be honest, I’m not sure what to say, either. I don’t know where things stand right now. My life has been turned upside down in the past year. This is a big part of why I put up so many walls with you. You’ve been so good to me, and you deserved the truth.”
“When I met you, I thought what we had in common was that we had each lost the love of our life. Yours is very much still alive. This changes things for me. My feelings for you are strong, but I can unequivocally say that Mason was the love of my life. No one will ever replace him. If he were still walking this earth, and I were in your situation, I would need closure.”
“What are you getting at?”
“You obviously have unfinished business. I really like you, Sevin. Really like you. I would even venture to say I might be falling in love with you. My feelings have been growing, but I need to protect myself. Things can’t get to a level where I could end up with a broken heart. I can’t handle that after losing Mason. I think it’s best for me to step away for a while until you figure things out. I mean, can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me there’s no chance that something could ever develop between you and her again?”
I couldn’t.
Shit.
“I’m sorry, Nance.”
The chaste kiss she gave me on the lips felt a lot like goodbye. “It sounds like the story isn’t finished. If you’re able to close the door on this chapter in your life, and I’m still around, please come find me.”
The story wasn’t finished.
Deep in my heart, I’d always known that. Nancy being out of the picture allowed me more time than ever alone with my thoughts. And all thoughts pointed to Evangeline. One evening, the urge to contact her became too strong to fight. Reaching over to my nightstand, I picked up my phone and texted her.
When can you talk?
A full thirty minutes went by before she responded.
Evangeline: Will you still be up at midnight?
Sevin: Yes
Evangeline: I have some time right after my shift before he picks me up. I can call you then?
Sevin: I’ll be here.
The moon was bright as I gazed out into the starry night while anxiously awaiting her call. My window was wide open, letting in a cool breeze and the sound of crickets. At twelve on the nose, my cell phone vibrated over my comforter, and my heart came alive.
“Evangeline.”
“Hi. Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine,” I said.
“It’s so good to hear your voice.”
“So, you’re done for the night?”
“Yes. I finish at midnight. Then, I hang around and decompress until 12:30.”
I relaxed into my pillow. “What do you think about when you’re on stage?”
“Anything but what I’m actually doing. That way, it goes by pretty fast.”
“No part of you enjoys it?”
“Not really.” After a long pause, she asked, “Are you disappointed in me? For choosing to do this for money?”
“It makes me jealous, but that’s my own issue. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. You have an amazing body. As long as no one is touching you or hurting you, I’m okay with it.”
“There was this one guy once…in a hood…he touched me. He terrified me a little.”
I got an adrenaline rush for a split second, thinking she was referring to someone else before it sunk in that she was talking about me.
“That guy terrified me, too. I don’t ever want to go back to that place with you ever again…that place of anger.”
Evangeline changed the subject. “How are things with Nancy?”
“Things are on hold.”
“What happened?” When I didn’t answer, she must have sensed my apprehension. “Sevin?”