Sins of Sevin(71)

Evie. He was the only person to ever call me that. I hated it. It reminded me of evil.

“I have a right to see my parents and my sister.”

“Well, it’s not gonna be this weekend.”

It was rare that Dean went away. I couldn’t waste the opportunity and had to figure out a way to get back home.







Since there were no easy bus routes to Dodge City from Wichita, one of my co-workers, Liz, came through, letting me borrow her SUV for the weekend.

Dean’s friend picked him up at 8AM. Nelson had brought over glazed donuts and boxed coffee from Wally’s. I joined them in the kitchen, trying my best to act nonchalant. Dean thought I’d be spending the day catching up on laundry.

Fifteen minutes after they left, I walked the mile to Liz’s and took off in her car down Route 54.

After three hours of driving, I finally arrived at my parents’ property.

My relationship with Daddy was still strained, although at least he was talking to me.

Emily, our parents and I sat at the dining room table for lunch. Emily tried to lighten the mood by taking over the conversation, talking about her pursuit to convince my father to let her apply to a couple of out of state colleges. It didn’t take long before Daddy began to interrogate me.

“I thought you said the next time you set foot in this house, you would bring that husband of yours.”

I would have never promised that.

He will NEVER be coming here.

“I don’t plan to bring him here, Daddy.”

“You mind telling me why not?”

“Because you wouldn’t approve of him, and I don’t want to disrespect you.”

“Since when do you care about respecting our opinion?”

My mother put her hand on my father’s arm. “Lance, please. We’re trying to have a nice lunch.”

The rest of the meal was spent eating in silence with nothing but the sound of silverware clinking. I’d come to expect this as the new normal, feeling like an outcast among my own family. I suppose I was lucky that Daddy even let me back into the house after my disappearing act. It would have been unreasonable to expect a warm reception on top of that.

I couldn’t help but ask, “How is Sevin doing?”

When my parents didn’t answer, Emily chimed in, “Probably hanging out with that girlfriend of his. She’s been coming around a lot. I see her car parked outside the guesthouse all the time.”

My food felt like it was coming up on me. “Girlfriend?”

“Well, he says she’s not, but I think he’s just trying to be respectful of our feelings…because of Elle.”

“Who is she?”

Emily finished her sip of water before she said, “Name’s Nancy. That’s all I know.”

Forget Evie; Nancy was my new least favorite name in the world.

Even though I had no right to this jealousy, my heart was clamoring in protest.

“Does she drive a Toyota?”

“Yeah. Beige. That’s the one.”

A lump formed in my throat at the realization that it was the same woman I met the day I showed up at his door. That was a while ago, which meant they’d been seeing each other for some time.

My mother had turned mine and Elle’s old bedrooms into guest suites. The plan was for me to spend the night in my old room.

On the way down the hall, I stopped into Elle’s.

Collapsing on her bed, I broke down and spoke into her pillow, “I’m so sorry. I promise you, I would trade places with you if I could.”

Breathing in, trying in vain to find some recognition of her scent, I sobbed for what must have been close to an hour. I suppose wherever she was, she knew everything now.

When I finally emerged from the room, I decided to take a quick ride to the nearest grocery store. Emily had made me promise to make her these cookies I used to bake for her when she was younger. It was the least I could do after having abandoned her for much of her formative years.

His truck was parked in front of the guesthouse, so I assumed he was inside. A few seconds later, just as I was getting into my car, headlights from an oncoming vehicle hit me in the face.

I froze as I realized it was Nancy’s Toyota. They both got out, slamming the doors shut. Sevin didn’t notice me at first. I wasn’t going to say anything, but then he turned around and spotted me standing in front of the SUV.

From across the grass, our eyes met. He was silent as I walked from my parents’ driveway over to his.

“Hi,” I said.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m spending the weekend with Mama and Daddy.”

“You didn’t tell me you were coming.”

“I didn’t think you’d want to see me.”

He looked at his girlfriend. “This is Nancy. Nancy, this is…”