Sins of Sevin(20)
“You mean you can’t show your inner pervert.”
My stomach dropped.
She must have noticed the look on my face when she said, “Sevin, I’m just kidding. You confided in me about those drawings. It was just a bad joke. I don’t think you’re a pervert at all.”
Throwing some hay in her direction, I said, “You’re a little wiseass.”
Her cheeks turned rosy. “Speaking of perverts…poor Imogene.”
“Oh my God, Evangeline. That night…the two of us were the only ones losing it.”
“You went to the bathroom to laugh, didn’t you?”
“Yeah! I literally thought I was going to die from laughter. I don’t think I’ve laughed that fucking hard in my life.”
“I knew that’s why you got up!” We both started to crack up, and when it faded, she said, “I’m sorry I missed your birthday.”
“It’s still my birthday.” I smiled. “Anyway, you didn’t miss anything. I’ve been in a real funk today.”
“How come?”
“It’s a long story.”
“I have time,” she said.
I threw some more hay at her in jest. “You just stole my line from the day we met.” I hesitated. A part of me really wanted to tell her what was bothering me, but I didn’t want to take away from her own problems. Instead, I changed the subject. “Do you come in here a lot to think?”
“Sometimes. How did you know I was in here anyway?”
“Like I said, I could see the light. Process of elimination.”
“I would shut the lights off, but I’m deathly afraid of the dark.”
“Really?”
“Yes. For some reason, it doesn’t bother me so much being outside in the dark, but being in a pitch dark room makes me panic.”
“That’s a sucky feeling, but I’m the opposite. I like to sleep in total darkness.”
“You’re lucky you’re marrying Elle and not me. We’d never be able to sleep in the same room.”
“Yeah. Guess not, right?” There was a long silence before I looked over at her and asked, “Why not you?”
“Hmn?”
“If you’re the older daughter, why did Lance want to marry Elle off first?”
“That’s for him to explain. There are multiple reasons. But for one, I don’t think he sees me as ready for marriage and for the responsibility that comes with it. So, you dodged a bullet.” She winked.
God, she was beautiful. I needed to leave. Instead, I shook my head and asked, “What is it about you?”
“What do you mean?”
“What is it about you that makes me want to tell you all my secrets?”
“I feel kind of like that about you, too.”
“You might think I’m strange for saying this…”
She interrupted me, “We’re past that point. I’ve thought you were strange from the moment I met you, Sevin.”
“Maybe that’s why we get along so well. Freaks of a feather…” I joked.
She chuckled. “What were you going to say?”
“Something about you reminds me of what I imagined my mother was like.”
“In what way?”
“Just a free spirit, someone who cared about people, who didn’t discriminate, someone who was passionate and beautiful…inside and out.”
Someone who would have loved me unconditionally.
“Wow. Thank you. She must have been something…”
“I don’t really know. I never had a chance to meet her.”
A look of shock washed over her face. “What?”
“I never met my mother.”
“You mentioned that she passed away, but I don’t understand. What happened?”
I couldn’t believe what I was about to admit. It was the first time I uttered the words that were responsible for everything that was ever wrong with me. The words that defined me.
“I killed her.”
CHAPTER 9
EVANGELINE
Sevin’s eyes were watering when he’d said it. Shock and sadness ran through me, but I didn’t say anything, knowing that he needed to find the words at his own pace.
My heart was racing. He’d killed her. What did that mean? He’d never met her, yet he’d killed her. Just as I started to figure it out, he resumed speaking.
“My mother died giving birth to me.”
“Oh my God. I’m so sorry.”
“I still don’t know the details of exactly how it happened because my father always refused to talk about it. It was too painful for him.”
“Does Elle know?”
“I’d told her my mother died when I was little, but we never discussed the details. That’s partly my fault, because I always change the subject. I’m not sure if my father ever told Lance exactly what happened, either. If Elle didn’t know, I suspect he didn’t.”