That was the only reason I felt a bit of peace as I sat back in the passenger seat of Jose. The only reason why I had some hope for them. I knew Camden, Sophia, and Ben would walk away from this and with the fifty thousand dollars. Camden had the chance to really start over, to become Connor Malloy for good. And, after the way her family had treated her, I wouldn’t be surprised if Sophia and Ben would join him.
Which reminded me. I brought out my notebook and tore a piece of paper out.
“Camden,” I said, trying to write on the dash as he took the exit for Palm Valley. “I’m writing down all of Gus’s contact info. You’ll need him for your IDs and if you ever get into any trouble.”
“What are you talking about, Ellie?” he asked, voice shaking. “If there’s any trouble, you’re the one calling Gus because you’ll be with me.”
“You know we have to be ready for any situation,” I said, avoiding his eyes. I folded the piece of paper, leaned over, and stuck it in the pocket of his cargo shorts. “If you want to be a good con artist, you’re going to have to start thinking that way too.”
“Ellie,” he warned.
“He’s an ex-LAPD officer and he lives close by,” I went on. “He knows people, he knows everything, and he’s always on my side, you got that? He’ll be on your side, too.”
He gripped the wheel. “I don’t like this,” he said, shaking his head, his jaw tense.
“I don’t think we’re supposed to like this,” I told him. “That’s the point.”
“If you try anything stupid…” he said.
“Me?” I asked, managing a smile. “You’re the one I’ll have to keep an eye on so you don’t go all Dirty Harry on him.”
“Some guys deserve the Dirty Harry,” he muttered.
Together we took in a deep breath as the car sped on. The tattoo on my leg was feeling tight, but somehow, the one on my arm was itching more.
Thirty minutes later we were in Palm Valley. My nerves were returning, misfiring. When we passed the road where my uncle’s house still was, I nearly choked on my tears. I thought they’d all disappeared but I didn’t think I’d ever stop feeling this way. The pain ran far too deep. It was in the ground, seeping up into me wherever I stood.
“Pull over,” I told Camden when we were about two minutes away from Sins & Needles. He did and stopped in front of a For Lease office building.
“You’re not going to make me promise you something,” he said. “Because that’s what they say in the movies, the person who never comes back.”
I reached over and grabbed his head with my hands, kissing him thoroughly. When we broke apart, my skin was tingling, my lungs breathless.
“That,” he managed to say, sneaking in another kiss, his eyes exploring mine, “is pretty much the same as a promise. The kiss goodbye.” He could barely get out the last words. My heart heaved.
“No,” I told him, tracing my fingers along his jaw, “it’s not a goodbye kiss. It’s just a kiss. I love you, Camden McQueen.”
My lip began to tremble, eyes stinging with fire. He looked stunned. I felt stunned. I couldn’t help how I felt. I couldn’t help the way I was telling him. That I was telling him before it was all too late. It was time for me to make amends, and I’d do so loving him, come what may.
He kissed me so hard I thought I might break. Somewhere in there a sob escaped his lips, or maybe it escaped mine. It didn’t matter—we were only one, we’d always been, always been the same. Our lips were wet, the salt of tears hitting our tongue. It wasn’t a goodbye kiss, it was the opposite. It was the start of something that would last forever.
Even if we weren’t together. Because we wouldn’t be together. I knew what I had to do, to give him his life back. And to right the wrongs in mine.
I pulled away, letting the last tear roll down my cheek. I nodded at the road in front of us, the brightly colored shops and groomed palm trees that lined Main Street like a beacon, all pointing us in the right direction. The only direction.
He studied me for a minute, as if memorizing every line on my face. I let him. And I did the same. His quirky full lips, expressive brows, those eyes that knew me, the real me, for everything that I was and everything that I had been. Everything I would be. Even through his reading glasses, he looked like the most handsome man I’d ever seen. I wished he’d gotten a chance to tattoo the back of my leg. I wish he’d made his mark everywhere. I wished everyone could see how much he’d imprinted himself on my heart.