Sins & Needles(84)

The road we were on was now completely empty with no streetlights or development around us and the sand was starting to come in through the missing windshield. Vegas glowed in the distance against the orange-tinged sky. “We’re in the middle of nowhere. He’s gone. Pull over.”

With a sigh, he coasted us to a stop at the side of the two-lane road. Out here the wind was picking up, coating us with a chill but I was too on edge to be cold.

I opened the door and ran out of the car, stumbling through the sand and rock in my sandals, gasping for breath. I stopped a few feet away and crouched down, my head in my hands. Javier had seen me. My hand had been so close to his. What happens to love when it turns to hate? Was this it? Did it turn to death?

“Ellie?” Camden called from the car. I heard the car door slam. I waved my hand in the air dismissively. “Stay away!” I yelled, trying to slow my heart and get air back in my lungs.

He must have listened. I didn’t hear the crunch of sand under his shiny new shoes. I only heard the whistling wind and the blood rushing around in my head.

When I felt remotely better, I straightened up and walked back to the car. Camden was sitting on the front bumper, looking straight up in the sky like a dejected prom date. A few tiny stars had poked through the light pollution.

I climbed up beside him and sat on the hood, for once not caring that my ass was making a dent in it. The whole front right corner of the car was smashed up, the headlight dangling. I swallowed hard at the damage of my poor car then did a silent prayer of thanks. It was better that Jose got injured than us. Besides, he wasn’t my car to grieve over.

“Luck be a lady tonight,” Camden said quietly. “I think she’ll turn on us soon.”

I looked at him sharply, studying the back of his head. “She turned on me a long time ago.”

Silence swirled around us. Finally he said, “Oh, why don’t you just shut up, Ellie.”

My heart squeezed. “What?”

He turned his head so I saw the side of his face. His blue eyes glittered menacingly in the dark, such a change from a few moments ago. “This always has to be about you, doesn’t it?”

I was taken aback and struggled for words. Indignation flared hot inside. “Well I’m sorry I have some psychopath after me. I’m sorry it’s such a big inconvenience for you. I didn’t ask for this, you know.”

“Yes! You did!” he said, bringing his eyes back to the endless black of desert in front of us. “You asked for everything you’ve gotten.”

“Oh, fuck you.”

“No,” he said, getting up. He turned to face me and leaned forward on the hood, his arms on either side of me, causing me to flatten beneath him. “Fuck you. Why the hell do you have to go fucking with people? Is there anyone else you’ve pissed off?”

His face was so close to mine, the anger just seething off of him. “What did Javier do to you? What did he do to make you take his car and his money? To get me in this mess. Huh?”

“It’s a long story,” I spat back. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me!”

“Fine!” I yelled back. “He cheated on me, okay? He was my first love, my first everything, and I came home one day and…well there you have it. I saw something that ripped my heart out. I overreacted. I was angry…I, I would’ve done anything to hurt him. Don’t you see? All this time I was the one pretending…I never thought he was pretending too. Everything was a lie. I was so tired of the lies.”

“This is all because of lies?” he asked.

“This is all because of love,” I told him, my lower lip trembling. “Or maybe it’s all the same. Maybe it will always be the same with me!”

“He hurt you,” he said. “You hurt him back.”

“The only way I knew how. Javier doesn’t have a heart to break. Isn’t that what you think of me?”

His eyes narrowed into cool slits, appraising my face. “That is what I thought of you, Ellie. Heartless, reckless, selfish, and cruel.”

He was back to shooting me when my armor was down. I turned my face away from him, not wanting to let him see the hurt in my eyes.

He reached up and put his fingers under my chin, bringing my face forward again, forcing me to look at him. “Beautiful, sad, wounded, and lost,” he continued. “A freak, a work of art, a liar, and a lover.”

His gaze was starting to eat away at my insides. Razor-blade butterflies whirled in my heart.

“I hate you, Ellie Watt,” he whispered, lips coming closer to mine, “because I still love you after all these years.”