Again, I was impressed he was able to deduce it from just the few notes.
“It suits you,” he said, quietly this time.
“Rough and sweet and sad?” I joked.
“No,” he said. “Just sad. God, that’s a sad song.”
I don’t know why but my eyes suddenly flared hot with tears. What the hell? A few rum and Cokes and a sad song and I was ready to go.
I swallowed loudly. “I like that song.”
“I’d hope you would since it’s tattooed on your arm. What does it mean? Are you looking for somebody’s face on every street?”
He started singing underneath his breath, going through the lyrics. I blinked hard, shrugged my shoulders, and resumed pulling. I wanted him to stop. He did when he hit the part on my arm, the three notes from the guitar after Knopfler sings the titular sentence. Three notes that never sounded so desolate. Three notes that sounded so much like loss in a song that ended with hope.
“That song is not about someone. That song is about you. You still refuse to be traced.” He sounded awed.
“There’s a cowbell in that song,” I reminded him, trying to make light of it while simultaneously wiping away a tear that sneaked out of my eye. “Let’s not look into it too much, shall we?”
“Fine,” he said. The conversation was dropped and we went back to losing.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The two of us ended up going to bed quite early, well early for a casino. After we lost two hundred dollars and earned back one hundred and fifty, we cashed out. I got the same girl as before and she didn’t give me any grief over making up a cashier’s check. Nor did she tell me she’d have to report my earnings to the IRS. At least we had that going for us.
With our fancy check in hand, we got two more drinks to go and went back to our room. We had two beds, which was good because I didn’t really trust sharing a bed with Camden. I just don’t know who I mistrusted more–him? Or me?
After I sent Gus an email updating him on our whereabouts and checked both our phones for new messages (Snooty Neo for Camden, but no one else), I scrubbed off all my makeup, slipped on my boxer shorts and camisole, and crawled into my bed. The sheets were stiff, the comforter had a bizarre smell, but it would do. I couldn’t say I felt exactly safe, even though I knew there was security in the hotel, and even though our door was triple locked. I wondered if I’d ever feel safe with Camden by my side, or if I was going to live in a constant state of anxiousness. You’d think I’d be used to it by now.
“Ellie,” he called out into the darkness. I had been awake and thinking for such a long time I had assumed he’d be asleep.
“Yes?”
“Tell me the story about your scars.”
It was as if the room got darker. Colder. Heavier.
I pulled the smelly comforter up to my face, wishing I could hide.
“It’s not a fun story.”
“I don’t want a fun story,” he said. “I want the truth. I want to know what happened.”
I chewed on my lip, wishing I could buy time, but there was nothing but time on long nights like these.
“I think you owe me that much,” he added softly.
And that was true. I did owe him at least that much. I brought my knees up to my chest, full-on fetal position, and told my story to the opposite wall. It was easier than facing him in the dark. It was easier knowing he was behind me.
“Once upon a time,” I began, “there was a young girl. The girl lived outside of Gulfport, Mississippi. She didn’t call the place home but she’d been there for two years and it was as close of a home as she’d gotten before. In her home, she believed her life would turn out better and that her family would start acting like a family again. Her parents, or at least her dad, had gotten a real job at the casino. They promised her they were done being grifters and wanted to do things the right away. The girl believed them because they were her parents. She had always believed them, even when they were asking her to steal the wallets of moms at children’s birthday parties or distracting clerks while they stole pointless crap. She’d seen the movie Paper Moon and was happy someone had made a film about her life, that she wasn’t alone. One day, her mother was really angry. Her mother was always an angry person, but this day she was furious. The girl was scared. She loved her mother, but she especially loved her when she was in her rare happy moods. When she was angry, the girl was afraid of her. Even the dad was afraid of her.
So one day the mom tells the dad and the girl that they’re going on a little adventure. Just out to dinner to see an old friend of hers, a man called Travis. Now, the girl knew a lot about this Travis friend of her mother’s. She had seen him around the house when her father was at work. The girl was old enough to suspect her mother was having an affair but too afraid to ever ask her mother about it. If her dad ever suspected anything, he was too timid and too kind to say anything about it.