Sins & Needles(43)

“Good. Neither have I.”

He stood up and reached across the desk, bringing out a stuffed animal that had been hiding near the wall. It was a goofy looking bear. I had seen it earlier but not really seen it. I must have subconsciously figured it belonged to his son.

“See this?” he asked, making the bear dance in front of me.

“Is it Ben’s?”

“It’s a video camera.”

Double shit.

“It’s one of those nanny cams that you set up in your kid’s room. To catch the weirdos. I don’t get to take care of Ben and I probably never will, but if I ever had to hire a babysitter, I’d use one of these. You can’t trust anyone these days.” He smirked at me. “So, I pressed play at about eight o’clock. It’s been recording ever since. No matter where you go or what you do, I have all of this on tape. You’re done for, Ellie. They’re going to lock you up and swallow the key. You’re going to follow down the same path as your family, except you won’t be able to run. You know, sometimes I look at you and I see this…cornered desperation.” The phrase rolled off his tongue like smoke. “Think of how cornered you’ll be when you’re living in a jail cell.”

I’d had some low moments in my life. I’d been scared to death. I’d had the shit kicked out of me on two different occasions. I’ve had my fingers broken once (a poorly thrown punch). I’d been humiliated, cheated on, cast aside. But other than the moment I got my scars—the moment that put me on the path I was on—I’d never been so scared as I was sitting there handcuffed in Camden’s chair with my entire future resting inside the bowels of a teddy bear.

I looked him in the eye and took a steady breath. “What do you want from me?”

“What do I want from you?” he repeated, placing the bear back on the desk, facing me and out of reach.

I sighed loudly. “Yes. What do you want? Are you turning me over to your dad or do you just feel like torturing me for a bit first?”

He leaned against the wall and bit his lip. “I do feel like torturing you, Miss Watt. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a very long time.”

My face scrunched with despair. “So you’ve harbored a stupid grudge ever since high school?”

He smiled tightly. “Don’t make it sound trivial. Haven’t you harbored a grudge since high school?”

“But I have reasons!”

He raised his brows. His eyes looked opaque and glossy like blue glass. “Oh do you? You think because of your leg and your scars that gives you a right to punish people? Rob people? Cheat, scam, and steal? You think you can use that to justify what you do for a living?”

“You weren’t me,” I said through grinding teeth. “You have no idea what I went through.”

“I have some idea. We were friends once, you know.” He walked slowly in front of me, holding the gun behind his back like he was deep in thought. “Do you think because you can’t see my scars that they don’t exist? That’s the trouble with pain, Ellie. If you’re lucky, you can wear it for all the world to see. Most people have their pain deep inside, in places no one ever goes. Not until it’s too late.”

I had nothing to say to that. In a way, he was right. I had no idea what kind of scars he had and just because they weren’t visible, it didn’t mean they weren’t there. I mean, the guy was acting a little sadistic and a little fucking nuts. He was obviously hurting, far more than I would have ever thought.

“Well,” I said slowly, licking my dry lips. “I don’t know what to say except that I’m sorry.”

He stopped in the middle of the room. “Excuse me?”

“I said I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I mean it, I’m sorry I hurt you.” I felt like a flood was opening up in my throat. “I…I didn’t mean to. I was an idiot back then. I was a bitch, I…I was weak. I wanted people to like me. No one had ever liked me and I just wanted to be normal.”

“I liked you,” he said quietly. I opened my mouth but he went on, “but I guess I wasn’t normal enough for you.”

My chest went hollow at the pain in his eyes. “It’s not that, I just didn’t know how to appreciate your friendship. You were my first friend. Ever. I had no one before you except my parents, and when the thing with my leg happened…I couldn’t trust them anymore. I wanted to trust you, Camden, I really did. But then I thought if you liked me then there was something wrong with you. And that you’d hurt me.”

“So you hurt me first.”