26
DIEM
THINGS COULD NOT get any more fucked up for me than they already were. I finally make it to the top, which wasn’t an easy task, only to be constantly pushed back down. I expected it, really I did. From everyone, even my own father. But not from him. Zeke, or Shady, whatever in the hell his name is, will never be able to look at me as his superior.
I’d gained a little respect from him today, but I was afraid with that, I was losing the love he once felt. But me? I can’t get him out of my head. I’ve never loved this hard before. I’ve never needed something so bad. I can control the want—I’d done it for years. But this is a longing . . . a need that only he can suffice. I feel like I have to have him to breathe . . . to eat . . . to sleep . . . And sometimes I think he feels the same way. But mostly, I think he feels nothing.
My plan to take Clark out is nothing more than a distraction. I’m confident that Shady and Rookie will figure it out before things get ugly. Actually, I’m counting on it. There is no other way for me to escape them, and I have to do this alone. Two years of my life were spent preparing me for this one moment. If I succeeded, it would be my greatest accomplishment. If I failed, the blowback would be devastating to the entire organization.
A part of me is a little excited that I’ll finally get to play that damsel in distress role I’ve read about in books. I’ve never been able to before—mostly because you can’t fake weakness, or at least I can’t. Sure, I’d love to just fall down, break a leg, and have Shady come running to my rescue. But that sickness inside me wants more. I want to push him to his limits and see just how far he’s willing to go. Hopefully, he’s as smart as I think he is.
Clark and Shady just left, and Rookie is waiting for them at their destination. Shady is smart enough to cover his own ass if Clark starts getting suspicious, so I’m not worried about things going south. I am, however, worried about things going south for me. I’m quick and skilled with a gun. I’m fast on my feet. But my size is my biggest disadvantage. And taking on Fin by myself might get a little ugly if things don’t go as planned.
I meet Fin at a bar we’ve met at plenty of times before in downtown Allentown. My stomach rolls with disgust just at the sight of him. But I flash a smile and force my cheeks to heat by imagining Shady is talking dirty to me. Fuck, I love when he talks dirty.
“Damn, baby. You lookin’ good.” Fin whistles, making me want to claw my eyes out. Instead, I curtsy.
“Jeans okay? Am I underdressed?” I ask, batting my eyelashes like a teenage girl.
He shakes his head, pulling me down on his lap. “No fucking way. I love them jeans on you.” I grab his drink, rolling my eyes when I turn away and replacing my smile after I down it.
“Did you bring it?” I whisper, contemplating biting his ear but deciding against it. I think that would be considered cheating. Although the big boner pressing up against my ass might be considered cheating too.
“You know I did,” he says, giving me a list of every Death Mob member who decided to go rogue right after Sinner’s Creed refused to give up Texas. I take the jump drive from his fingers, sliding it into my back pocket.
This is supposed to be the part where I kill him and walk away. We’re alone in the back room that I reserved without his knowledge for that particular reason. But what fun is that? Tonight, I want to be rescued. And I need to test Shady’s loyalty. If he shows, he’s my guy. If he doesn’t, then he’s not the man I think he is.
“I’m ready for the army. Imagine the look on Sinner’s Creed’s faces when we take over Texas. I hope that prick Shady is there. I plan to make him suffer.” He stares off in the distance; the mere thought of killing Shady is enough to put him in lethal mode.
Fin is under the impression that I’m going to take out Dorian. Having no one else to take his place, the elders would be forced to put me in charge. During that time, I was going to give Death Mob Texas, and name him as the new leader. He’d gathered me a list of names and numbers so I could contact them. I made some bullshit excuse that I had to do extensive background research to ensure they weren’t working with the feds or Sinner’s Creed. Like the idiot he is, he fell right into my trap.
Sliding my hand across his face, I turn his head back to look at me. “Just remember. It’s our little secret. At least until I can get rid of my daddy.” I almost choke on the word. Daddy. I hadn’t called him that in years. It was forbidden because I wasn’t his daughter anymore . . . I was his employee.