Sinner's Revenge(76)
I’d lost too fucking much and I didn’t need anybody who I couldn’t trust. She’d just sealed her fate with me. What we had was good, but it’s gone. This isn’t the woman I fell in love with. This is a woman who’s trying to prove something. And she just did.
I don’t know if she’s bluffing or not, but my brother’s life isn’t worth the gamble. My voice gravely low, I lean forward, growling in her face. “Don’t ever threaten my family again.”
I walk out with Rookie on my heels. I’d said I’d kill any motherfucker who wronged my family. And I meant it. I fully understand why she avoided my question when I asked if she would have killed me. Because now, I have the same dilemma.
If she ever threatens my family again—I’ll kill her.
And like all the others, I’ll have no fucking remorse.
* * *
“You know, she wouldn’t have shot me,” Rookie informs me. We’re back at my place, passing a much-needed blunt on the front porch.
“Obviously, you don’t know her like I do.” I take a drag, hoping the weed will help to drown out the sound of her voice that keeps playing in my head. “I’ll be sending Carrie flowers.” What a coldhearted bitch.
“What did you expect her to do? You undermined her authority. You made her look weak. If people see you doing it, they’ll do it too. I’d have shot your ass.”
“Are you forgetting that she just threatened to kill you? Whose fucking side are you on? And why do I have to keep asking my brothers that question?” I kick at one of the boards on the railing and three fall. Great. Something else to fucking fix.
“She did what she had to do. You didn’t see me shittin’ in my pants and you don’t see me holding a grudge. Why should you.”
“Because you’re my fucking family!” I yell, losing my temper. “I taught her to play on her enemies’ weaknesses. Me! And like the bitch she is, she used it against me. But I’m not her enemy. I’m supposed to be her fucking man!” I’d been betrayed. My heart had been ripped from my chest. That speech about this world being bigger than us was just an excuse. This was for her. She was a selfish bitch who clearly wanted power more than she wanted me.
Rookie doesn’t say anything until my breathing returns to normal. He’s learned how far he can push me, and it’s pretty obvious that I’ve reached my breaking point. “All I’m saying is to put yourself in her shoes. What would you have done?”
Even though I just want to be pissed, I consider his words. Reversing the roles, I know what I’d have done—the exact same thing she did. If I was her man, I should have acted like it instead of like all the other pieces of shit that had forced her to do something she didn’t want to. I’d questioned her in front of the real enemy—Death Mob. I’d made her look weak in front of her own men. I was no better than the other men she’d killed and I deserved to die after how I’d treated her.
Fuck.
I hate my friend sometimes. He always has to be the voice of reason. Deep down, I know she wouldn’t have hurt Rookie. I’m still pissed at her for making the threat. But already I’m finding the will to forgive her.
Handing Rookie a beer, I shake my head. “I should have just let her shoot you.”
* * *
My phone rings around noon the next day and I nearly break my neck to answer it. I’m hoping it’s her voice, but it’s Jimbo’s. And he’s pissed. “Do you mind telling me why the fuck we have to ride halfway across the country for a meeting in the morning that was supposed to take place here tomorrow night?”
“I may or may not have pissed off my girlfriend.” Ex-girlfriend. But he doesn’t have to know that.
“Well, thanks a lot, asshole. And while Nationals fly, you’ll be riding to Nebraska. Now get in the fucking wind.”
* * *
What Jimbo failed to tell me was that part of my punishment wasn’t just making me ride, but every other member within a five-hundred-mile radius had to ride too. I guess he learned that shit in the military—punish one by punishing them all. They’re so pissed they won’t even look at me. Even when we stop to fill up and smoke, they keep their distance. All because my man ego couldn’t take a direct order from Diem.
If Dorian or Jimbo would have walked in and gave me that exact same order, I’d have listened and done what I was told with no questions asked. I was still pissed, but at least I understood her motive.
Before I can stop myself, I’m dialing her number. “What,” she snaps, and I can hear the click of her heels as she walks.