“Whoa, Eva-”
“Please,” she whispers breathless, her eyes flashing something raw. “No more lessons. I want this.”
She steps back from me, suddenly reaches down, and pulls her shirt off.
Goddamn she’s beautiful, standing there in her bra in the sunset.
I pull my shirt off, yanking her against me and kissing her. We fall to the ground, hands tearing at our clothes as we come crashing together. She’s pushing her jeans down, and pulling me on top of her, and then it’s just a pair of panties and just my boxers separating us — nothing else between.
I hover over her, staring down into this angel’s face. I’m taking in her beauty, the way her lip catches in her teeth, the way her big blue eyes stare up at me with a mix of apprehension and desire.
…The way she looks so fucking sexy and so fucking pure and innocent at the same time.
Innocent.
Fuck.
I can’t do this.
It’s the worst thought I’ve ever had, but it’s there, suddenly burning in the front of my mind. She’s so pure, and I don’t just mean inexperienced sexually I mean she’s a pure, good person.
And I know deep down that I’d only ruin that.
I’d destroy that goodness, and dirty her with my own bullshit and my own baggage.
And I can’t do that. Not to her.
She’s kissing me, her hands grabbing at my boxers when I push her arms down, pinning her.
“Wait, wait. Eva.”
She moans, kissing me as she arches her back and raises her hips to mine.
And I almost crack.
I almost cave right there.
I almost reach down, tear those panties off and plunge every inch of my cock inside that sweet, sweet pussy until she comes harder than she ever has before.
But I don’t, and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
“Eva, stop. Wait.”
She freezes. “What?”
“I-” I shake my head. “We can’t do this.”
Her face crumbles. “Did I do something?”
“No, no.” I shake my head, leaning in to kiss her, but she breaks away.
“What, then?”
“I just- I can’t be the one.”
Her brow furrows. “But, I want you to.”
“You think you do, but you don’t know what you’re doing.”
“Then show me.”
I groan, grinding my teeth, and I even have to shut my eyes as I shake my head. “No,” I say quietly. “No because I’d never forgive myself.”
Her face goes cold, and suddenly she’s slipping away from me and grabbing for her jeans.
“Eva, look-”
“No, it’s fine,” she says coldly, pulling them up and quickly reaching for her bra.
“Eva, look at me.”
“No.” She pulls her shirt on, her back still to me. “It’s fine, Rowan. This was a stupid idea anyways. I had some wine at dinner, and I just wasn’t thinking clearly.”
I stand. “Eva, you need to understand.” I put my hands on her shoulders, but she shrugs them off.
“Can you just take me home now?”
“C’mon!” I growl. “Goddamnit, you know what I’m trying to say here. Just fucking talk to me.”
She turns, her eyes wet and her face cold.
“Just take me home, please.”
We hold that look for another second before I shake my head.
Fuck.
Fuck fucking-fuck.
I reach for my jeans. “Sure, let’s-”
But she’s already heading back up the beach to the bike.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Evangeline
“Where were you?”
I freeze at the sound of my father’s voice in the darkness of the living room. My face burns hot, and I’m thankful for the lack of lights — the shadows hiding my guilt and my sin from sight.
“I was out. I- I had to clear my head.”
It’s dark, but I still flinch when my father rises abruptly from his chair.
“Do not lie to me, Evangeline!”
His voice booms as he strides towards me. A light from outside suddenly catching his face in this jagged, menacing way, and I can feel my heart jump in my chest.
“Dad, I-”
“I heard that man’s motorcycle, Eva,” he says evenly. He brushes past me into the kitchen, pacing the floor and stroking his chin, like he’s about to call out the wickedness from his worshipers.
Wickedness like lying.
“He gave me a ride home, Dad. He was downtown and saw me walking, and-”
“I will not have lies under my roof!” He roars, whirling back on me.
“I’m not,” I lie, quietly.
It feels terrible.
“You walked out on Milton?” he says incredulously. “The man is leaving tomorrow to go back to Georgia, and you just decided to leave him, hat in hand? You just decided to leave your fiancé and-”