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Sinner(179)



“They’re pulling out, Reagan; entirely.” I see him reach out of habit for the phantom pack of cigarettes in his shirt pocket that hasn’t been there for five years, the frown in his eyebrows deepening.

“All of it?”

He sticks a pen between his lips instead of his old vice and glowers at me. “Every damn penny.”

I swear fiercely under my breath, clenching my hand tight and digging my nails into my palm as the reality of the situation hits me like a wet blanket. “How fucked are we?”

Donald tenses his face. He hates when I swear, especially in public and especially in public when there are cameras everywhere. “Lower your voice, Reagan” He mutters through the pen in his teeth, looking at me like I’m an ill-behaved child in that way that drives me crazy.

In the movie version of my life, Donald is the kind and sagely grandfatherly type who guides me along a path of adorable metaphors and teary-eyed life lessons to victory. In reality, he’s cold, calculating, and robotically efficient at keeping me in line with his battle plans. But then again, kind grandfatherly types doling out anachronisms like they were candy don’t win elections, robots do.

“They were forty percent of our campaign.”

I can feel the breath leave my lungs as the room spins around me. My lips moving soundlessly as my brain searches for the words to possible use here. This simply can’t be happening, not after we’ve worked so freaking hard to get to where we are.

Donald glares at me as he furiously chews on his poor pen. “Maybe next time, you’ll stay on the damn speech I give you instead of going off on one of your ‘save the world’ tangents, Reagan. You know they’re going to jump down you throat for that kind of things because-”

His phone beeps and he frowns, trailing off as he shakes his head and mutters at whatever’s just popped up, but I can pretty much take my pick of what he was going to say anyways: ‘Because I’m a girl,’ or ‘Because I’m the youngest person to ever run for the State Senate of New York,’ or my favorite, ‘Because I’m the daughter of the late William Archer; billionaire philanthropist-slash-arms-dealer, depending on who’s opinion you ask.’

To most people, I’m either the next great American Dream for politics, or a nut-job, which plays nicely to the split media opinion of eager-eyed media darling or poor little rich girl, depending on which new station you like to watch.

I hang my head. Running was one thing, but dropping out like this is going to be a news anchor joke for years.

“So this is it then? We’re done, just like that?” I can hear my voice from outside my body, my ears ringing and my jaw clenching in that way Donald always tells me not to do in front of cameras because it makes me look aggressive. I look down at the trembling glass of champagne in my hand, suddenly wishing it was the size of a movie-theater cup.

“What?” My campaign manager takes the mangled pen from his mouth and briefly wrinkles his face at it, as if just noticing how gross a habit it is. He looks up at me, a stony look on his face, “No of course not,” he snaps, a bit more condescendingly then I need right now. “We’ve been approached by another new donor who sees a lot of promise in our campaign.”

I feel myself exhale for the first time in what seems like an hour and start to shake my head. “Well Jesus, Donald, you scared the living-”

“Now, you aren’t going to like it, of course, but try to let go of personal baggage for once.” He interrupts me, his voice low as he glares at me, “Try to remember that this is about more than just you?”

Instantly, I narrow my eyes as suddenly every one of my gut instincts start to tingle at the look on his face and the tone in his voice. “Donald-” I start to shake my head, my jaw clenching as I feel the anger and the heat rising in my cheeks. “No, absolutely not! It’s not even an option!”

Even though we’re off in the corner of the big open gallery of the museum where we’ve been throwing the now seemingly-useless campaign fundraiser, people around us turn to stare at my outburst. Donald shushes me again as if I’m some child acting out; “It’s our only option, Reagan.” He huffs, “Look, we all get that you don’t want your Father’s company’s money, but it is the only move here.”

Donald’s rolling his eyes at me in the obnoxiously patronizing way that makes my blood boil, and for the eight-hundredth time, I have to remind myself that he’s really good at this job, otherwise I’d have blown up in his face and told him where to stick it a month ago.