CHAPTER SEVEN
WAKE UP, MUMMY; it's time for breakfast.'
Claire opened protesting eyes and saw Lucy and Heather, both still in their dressing gowns, perched on her bed.
Jay said we weren't to put on our new dresses until after breakfast.'
Wise Jay, Claire thought, struggling to sit up. Those delightful grey velvet dresses with their white collars and maroon velvet bows would not be enhanced by the addition of breakfast cereal. They had been shockingly expensive, but Jay had insisted on buying them, to wear for the wedding,' and then there had been those irresistible tartan dresses with white collars and matching bows that she hadn't been able to resist for Christmas Day; a red one for Heather with her dark colouring and a green one for Lucy who had inherited her chestnut hair.
The man brought breakfast on a special table,' Lucy chattered on.
But Daddy said we had to come and ask if you wanted a cup of tea,' added Heather.
Ah, so you are awake!'
Jay stood in the doorway. He was wearing pyjama bottoms and a towelling robe-perfectly respectable articles of clothing, but nevertheless Claire felt her stomach clench and contract in response to the sight of him. He must have had a shower, because his hair was still damp.
I believe it's tradition for the bride to have her breakfast in bed on her wedding day.'
Not this bride,' Claire assured him firmly. I'm getting up. Come on, you two,' she told the girls, off the bed.' Her dressing gown lay just out of reach on a chair, and although her cotton nightshirt was perfectly respectable, she felt reluctant to get out of bed in front of Jay.
She was almost frozen with horror when he casually walked over to the chair and picked up her faded dressing-gown, holding it out to her.
As clearly as though she had spoken her anguish out loud, he came over to the bed, and said in a low voice so that the girls couldn't overhear,
I'm not going to touch you, but there are going to be times when we're going to have to act the part of an apparently normally married couple. Children are very quick, and we don't want either of them worrying that something isn't right about our marriage. They'll accept the fact that we have separate rooms much more easily if they can see that we're on reasonably intimate terms. And the time to start establishing that is now, unless you want to be the object of village speculation and gossip.'
Claire knew that he was right. Even so, she wished he would move away from the bed, and more than that she wished that he would put down her robe and go away, but he wasn't going to. So she had to push back the covers and swing unsteady legs to the carpeted floor, trying to appear as casually relaxed as Jay was himself as he handed her her robe. As she turned to take it from him, his fingers rested on her arm, his mouth brushing a light kiss against her forehead. She could smell the clean mint freshness of his breath, and the soapiness of his body.
The reality of him was so different from her deeply suppressed memories of her attacker that it held her tense with surprise.
She heard him say her name, but wasn't aware of the harsh undertone to his voice until his grip on her arms tightened and she focused on him.
His eyes were brilliant with an anger that made her recoil sharply. No … Claire … ' His grip prevented her from breaking free. I'm sorry. The look on your face brought home to me what could have happened to Heather. I think it takes being a father to bring home to a man how vulnerable and unprotected women are. I think if any man hurt either Heather or Lucy I would tear him apart with my bare hands. I wish I could turn time back for you and wipe out what happened, but I can't … '
No. And at least I have Lucy,' Claire said unsteadily.
The emotion in his eyes and voice had been so unexpected. His fingers still dug into her arm and she covered them gently.
I'm sorry, did I hurt you? I … ' He sounded almost dazed.
It doesn't matter.'
Heather and Lucy had disappeared into the sitting-room, but now Heather came back, hovering uncertainly in the doorway, eyeing them both with an anxiety that tore at Claire's heart.
Susie never liked her interrupting us,' muttered Jay huskily when he saw Claire's frown. In some way she almost seemed to be jealous of any attention I gave her.'
Understanding the reason for the little girl's hesitation, Claire smiled at her. Come on, let's all have breakfast,' she suggested cheerfully. After all, we've got a wedding to go to.'
Contrary to all her expectations, the civil ceremony, far from being austere and unmeaningful, took place in a small, prettily decorated room. on the registrar's desk was a bowl of fresh flowers, and Claire had the feeling that everything that could be done had been done to make the room attractive and welcoming. The service, simple though it was, was very moving, causing even Lucy to remain silent in awareness of the solemnity of the occasion.
Jay didn't kiss her, and she was glad of that. Her nerves were too tightly strung to endure much more.
A cold wind knifed through her thin suit as they all walked outside. Claire saw Jay frown and put out an arm as though he intended to draw her close to his side to keep her warm, and she moved away from him automatically, shivering as she felt the wind bite.
You need a coat.'
I've already got one,' she told him lightly. It was true, she had; an ancient duffle-coat which she had bought second-hand but which was excellent at keeping out the cold.
Now that you're married, will Jay be my daddy?' Lucy demanded irrepressibly as Jay led the way back to the car.
Over her head Jay looked at Claire. Stooping down to the little girl's height, he asked her quietly, Would you like me to be your daddy, Lucy?'
Her emphatic Yes,' would have made Claire smile at any other time.
And Heather wants you to be her mummy,' she told Claire firmly.
Claire bit her lip and looked helplessly at Jay. Heather already had a mother.
I think it will be easier all round if we let both girls call us "Mummy" and "Daddy",' he suggested softly.
But Heather … '
I want you to be my mummy,' Heather protested, clinging to Claire's arm and gazing up at her, and Claire didn't have the heart to deny her.
Whatever happened though, she promised herself, if Heather ever wanted to talk about her mother, and to see her, she would do her utmost to ensure that she did. Maybe now, with Susie's rejection of her very much to the forefront of her mind, she didn't want to know about her natural mother, but later, when she was more adult … It was something she would have to discuss with Jay, Claire admitted to herself, but not right now.
Who's hungry?' asked Jay, lightening the emotional mood. I've booked us into a local restaurant for lunch,' he told Claire. I felt we should do something to celebrate, but I also thought you might not like the idea of the hotel staff knowing that we'd just got married.'
His sensitivity, so unexpected in so tough a man, made her eyes sting with emotional tears. It seemed unbelievable that a man who had so many demands on his time already should make the effort to arrange a celebratory luncheon for what, after all, to him was merely a business arrangement.
The restaurant was in a small village several miles outside Bath. The chef had trained with the Roux brothers, Jay informed Claire as they drew up outside.
The restaurant had once been a farmhouse, and a huge log fire burned in the enormous hearth, throwing out a welcome heat. The furniture was simple and cottagey, the beamed walls colour-washed a soft cream, the old rose carpet on the floor enhancing the intimate atmosphere of the place.
They were shown to a table slightly secluded from the others, a deferential waiter ceremoniously unfolding the crisply starched pink napkins and placing them on two grey velvet laps, much to the awed delight of the girls.
I've already ordered our meal,' Jay explained. So if there's anything you don't like … ' He broke off as another waiter advanced with an ice bucket and two glasses.
Champagne,' he told Claire quietly. I felt it was appropriate.'
Champagne! It was the last thing she had expected, and she sipped the golden wine nervously, gasping as the ice-cool liquid bubbled down her throat.
Like it?'
It's lovely! I've never had any before.' She flushed, wondering what on earth Jay must think of a woman of her age who had never tasted champagne, but he looked more sombre than amused.
You can drink it with your first course,' he told her, I'll order wine to have with the main meal.'
Mummy, what's that you're drinking?' Lucy demanded, and when Claire told her, she said eagerly, May I have some?'
She was just about to refuse, when Jay summoned a waiter and said something to him. Within seconds he returned and put down two glasses of fresh orange juice, to which he added a very small amount of champagne before handing them to the girls.
Watching Lucy's beatific expression as she sipped her drink, Claire could only marvel at how much Jay had enriched their lives already.
You're spoiling them. You're spoiling all of us,' she remonstrated.