I had already decided to accept your proposal,' she told him huskily. I've been trying all week to convince myself that you're right and that we'd each be contributing equally to the marriage, but … '
But you still haven't managed to do it?' He made a small explosive sound in the back of his throat as he levered himself off the wall and came towards her.
You know what your trouble is, don't you, Claire? You're too damned proud! Do you honestly think that money can actually compensate for all the things you can give Heather that I can't? No! When I walked in here tonight she actually smiled at me. Do you know how long it's been since she did that? Since I came back to this house and found anything like a welcome, in fact? To walk in here tonight after a week spent arguing over the final details of the contract … ' He made a brief gesture that encompassed without words what he was trying to say. Susie wasn't much of a homemaker. She never wanted to get married. She was a model when I met her, and she bitterly resented being dragged down here and buried alive in the country, as she called it. If I hadn't stopped her, she'd have had Heather aborted. Sometimes I wondered if … '
No … No, you mustn't think that!' Claire's voice shook with anguish for him. Without even thinking about it she reached out and touched his arm lightly.
It was strange to feel his living flesh beneath the fabric of his shirt and her fingertips lingered briefly before she realised what he was and hurriedly withdrew.
Let's go and sit down,' he suggested. We've got a lot to talk about.'
In the sitting-room he poured them both a drink. Claire sat on the edge of her chair, nursing hers tensely. Jay shivered slightly as he sat down.
It feels cold in here.'
The central heating's on, but I suppose it was much hotter in Dallas.'
Mmm … I suppose it was, although I never got beyond my air-conditioned hotel room, or an equally air-conditioned suite of offices.'
But you got the contract. I wish I'd known; I could have made a special celebratory meal.'
There was a moment's odd silence that for some reason made her skin prickle warningly, and then Jay said in a husky voice, I wish you'd known too. I think I could quite easily get used to being spoiled by you, Claire … This room is cold,' he added abruptly. I've never liked it. It's too cold and sterile. So is the whole house, come to think of it, but I was desperate to find somewhere at the time, and Susie was no help, complaining that she hated everything we saw.'
Claire longed to tell him that there was nothing wrong with the house and that it was the decor that was at fault, but instead she said tactfully, I was wondering if you would mind if I changed things a little after we're married, Jay. Oh, nothing too expensive. It's just … '
Make whatever changes you wish. And Claire … ' She looked at him. Don't worry about what it costs, provided you aren't intending a wholesale refurnishing exercise with antiques.'
I was wondering about using some of the company's products,' Claire suggested cautiously. An idea had taken root in her mind, but she wasn't sure what Jay's reaction would be. You did say that we might have to entertain American executives from the Dallas company, and I was thinking some of the rooms here could be redecorated using some of your products, as a sort of … '
Showcase!'
Jay had been lounging back, his head resting against the cream leather of the settee, and now he sat upright, his eyes alert.
Yes, it's an excellent idea, but it would involve you in a lot of extra work, Claire-workmen in and out of the house, as well as taking care of the girls-and I'd have to leave all the planning and design to you as well. Initially, until the orders start moving smoothly, I'll be fully occupied keeping tabs on them.'
I don't mind.' She didn't. She would welcome anything that would change the house from its present austere state to something a little more homely.
Well, if you're sure, I'll get you some of our brochures and you can browse through them and see if there's anything you can use. In fact, I'd like to make the arrangements for the wedding and get it over with as soon as possible. I was thinking we could get married in Bath; if you like we could spend a couple of days there and I could take you round the factory.'
It would be even better if you could organise it to fit in with half-term,' Claire suggested. I have promised to take the girls to Bristol Zoo-and they both need new clothes … '
Fine, I'll organise something. You're going to need to do some shopping for yourself as well.'
It was lightly said, but even so, Claire flushed. She knew that her clothes weren't glamorous-far from it-but there had never been any money to spare to spend on herself.
I … I don't need anything, Jay,' she lied.
Yes, you do,' he corrected evenly. Claire, if you're going to act as my hostess, you're going to have to dress the part. American women are very clothes-conscious, especially Dallas women, and believe me, if the men are coming over here, their wives are going to want to come with them. It might even be worthwhile looking into ways and means of keeping them occupied-you know the sort of thing: a tour of Bath, and a couple of stately homes. Afternoon tea in thatched cottage villages.'
Surprisingly, instead of feeling daunted by what he had outlined, Claire felt a surge of interested excitement. She had never had a career, never really worked in the sense of being employed, but she had done well at school, and knew that she had a lively intelligence. To take on the role Jay was outlining would be a challenge, and one she felt she could respond to. And he was right-clothes; the right sort of clothes, would be an important part of that role.
If it's the fact that I'll be paying for your clothes that's worrying you, then don't let it,' he advised her. Believe me, Claire, if I had to pay for a full-time nanny for Heather, plus a cook and housekeeper of the high calibre that you are, plus a social secretary-cum-hostess, it would cost me far, far more than you're ever likely to spend on clothes.'
Ah, but that's why you want to marry me, isn't it?' she said lightly. So that you don't have to do that … '
Partly. But more important is the stability and permanence you're going to bring to Heather's life. It's just as well that Lucy is such a sunny-natured child. No problems there with any incipient jealousy, I hope?'
No, none at all. Lucy is a very well-adjusted little girl, luckily; I often wonder … '
Who she gets it from?' he said evenly. It's not my affair, Claire, but what are you going to tell her when she's old enough to start asking questions?'
She took a steadying breath. I can't tell her the truth.'
He seemed to consider for a moment and then said, No, perhaps not. So what will you tell her?'
That I loved her father. That he and I were at school together … That he was an orphan … ' she bit her lip. I thought I could tell her that he was killed in … in an accident … '
Thus effectively making sure she won't go looking for him or for anyone connected with him. Mmm, I suppose it could work.'
His question led to one that had been bothering her. Putting down her half-empty glass, she stood up and walked nervously towards the window, before turning to face him.
Jay, what will you do if your … if Heather's mother ever wants her back?'
She won't.' His voice was harsh, corrosive almost. Susie made that more than clear. Besides, I took the precaution of getting her to sign an agreement giving me total responsibility for Heather. Do you honestly think I would allow a child as sensitive as Heather is to be torn apart between two parents?'
If Susie changed her mind and decided that she wanted to … to come back, you … '
I what? Wouldn't be able to resist her?' He laughed bitterly. Don't you believe it! Sexually she could still turn me on, I suppose, but emotionally-no … that's all gone, and besides, she won't come back. She's got what she wanted, now that she's the wife of Brett Brassington the Third.'
There was no mistaking the cynical bitterness in his voice, and Claire's heart ached for him. It was impossible for her to comprehend the sort of relationship he had had with his ex-wife, and as though he knew it, he said savagely,
Our marriage was never the sort of marriage you can visualise, Claire. I loved Susie, yes, but it was an obsessive physical love that didn't last much longer than the honeymoon. I married her because she was carrying my child which she had threatened to abort, and she married me because she was twenty-six years old, and for a model, that's old. She could never accept or understand the amount of time I had to give to the business. Sexually she knew all the tricks there are to know; she knew exactly how to make me ache, and she enjoyed making me beg. You heard Heather: we had separate rooms-Susie's idea not mine,' he added broodingly. She kept me dangling on a thread for so long that after a while I just lost interest. Things weren't going well with the business. I was tired of arguing with her; tired of being made to pay and beg for sex; something inside me just seemed to shut off.' He laughed derisively. She couldn't believe it; she thought I was trying a few tricks of my own … ' He broke off when he saw the confused look Claire was giving him, and explained rawly, Too much strain overloads the system, Claire; I lost the ability to respond to her in any way at all. Once that happened I think we both knew the marriage was over, and I know I was never her only lover, not even in the early days when I genuinely thought she did care. I tried to keep the marriage going because of Heather, but it wasn't any good. And when Susie found out that I was able, to put it bluntly, to respond to other women in a way I could no longer respond to her, that was the end. Her pride couldn't take it.'