Sinful Nights(47)

That she should entertain even the slightest doubt rocked her into  hurried action  …  anything to dispel such dangerous thoughts. Quickly she  cleared away the breakfast things and got the girls buttoned into warm  clothes so that she could take them for a walk.    

 



 

Winterly had extensive gardens and Lissa took the girls outside for a  walk most mornings. It was still only February, and although the weather  was relatively mild there was definitely a chilly nip in the air.

They were out for almost an hour, returning with rosy cheeks and bright eyes, Emma now in Lissa's arms.

She had just put her down when the phone started to ring. Lissa picked  up the receiver, delighted when she realised the woman on the other end  of the line was calling in response to her ad for a new housekeeper. She  lived locally, her caller told Lissa, and had been widowed eighteen  months ago. In her late fifties she found herself with time on her hands  and although she had had no previous working experience, she sounded so  warm and pleasant that Lissa made an appointment to interview her.

With someone else to take over the more mundane household duties she  would have more time to spend with the girls and some to spare to help  Joel with his paper work. He had had a secretary who had come in a  couple of days a week he had explained to her, but she had left the area  when she married, and now he was relying on John's secretary at the  factory complex, which was really an unsatisfactory arrangement. Mrs  Hartwell already has more than enough to do,' he had told Lissa when  they were discussing the matter, and once the new Managing Director is  appointed, it would hardly be fair of me to appropriate his secretary's  time for estate work.'

Once we've got a new housekeeper I could help out here,' Lissa had  offered, and she remembered now the way he had looked at her,  thoughtfully almost as though he were trying to see into her mind.

You already do more than enough,' he had told her rather abruptly.  Just because you're my wife, Lissa, I don't expect you to work yourself  into the ground.'

But can't you see, I want to do it,' she had retorted. I want to help  you as much as I can Joel  …  I need to be able to justify myself my role  as your wife,' she had admitted, surprising herself by her honesty.

Do you?' The expression in his eyes then had been one she couldn't  interpret, but she had moved quickly away from him, alerted by some  primitive instinct to do so, although quite what she had feared she had  been at a loss to know. Certainly his mouth had curled into a distinctly  cynical smile, and he had said in that quiet, silky, even voice of his  which she had learned to recognise was one he used when he was  particularly irritated, There's no need to run away, Lissa, I'm not  going to pounce on you  … '

Lissa had been immediately ashamed of her reaction. Not once in the  three weeks since she had told him the truth had Joel given the  slightest indication of wanting to touch her in any way. At first her  relief in having told him the truth blotted out any other emotions but  now  …

Now what? she challenged herself as she made the girls' lunch. She was  disappointed because Joel had kept to his word? Of course not. How  ridiculous  …  How could she be?

She had arranged to see Mrs Fuller, the applicant for the housekeeper's  post while the girls had their afternoon nap, and when she answered the  door to her knock Lissa was agreeably pleased with what she saw.

Small and slightly plump, Mrs Fuller had an air of warmth about her that  Lissa immediately liked. As she showed her over the house she explained  the type of life they led, adding, Of course the girls will not be  your concern, but they are part of the household and both Joel and  myself want them to feel secure and happy here. I do believe in a  certain amount of discipline, but if for instance you feel that you  couldn't cope with muddy boots in the kitchen occasionally or toys in  the hall, then this post won't be for you,' Lissa said firmly, feeling  relieved when Mrs Fuller laughed warmly.

Heavens, no, I think children make a home. I had three myself. They're  all married now and living away from home. Both my girls live abroad-one  in Australia the other in California, so unfortunately I don't get to  see my grandchildren often enough, but I do know what it means to have  young children about the place. Of course there'll be certain rooms that  you won't want them to play in.'

The drawing room, my husband's study and the formal dining room,' Lissa agreed.

They talked for a little while longer, and when Mrs Fuller eventually  left having agreed to start work the following Monday Lissa was  extremely pleased.

She told Joel about it over dinner, checking as she wondered if perhaps he would have preferred to interview Mrs Fuller himself.

Good heavens no,' he told her when she asked. That is entirely your  province and if you say she's the right person for the job then I'm sure  she is.'    

 



 

He went on to tell her about the interviews he had been conducting to  find a Managing Director to take over the running of the factory.

I've managed to narrow it down to three,' he told her. I'm doing the  final interviews tomorrow. I'll be glad when it's all sorted out.'

He looked tired Lissa realised, her frown deepening when she realised as  well that he had lost a little weight. He had removed his suit jacket  before he sat down for dinner and the fine silk of his shirt moved  fluidly against his skin as he shifted in his seat. A strange,  unfamiliar tension gripped her, her mouth suddenly dry, a pulse beating  through her body with heavy forcefulness.

Lissa?'

She realised that she was staring at him and dragged her gaze away,  wondering if perhaps she was coming down with something. She felt so  odd.

Lissa, are you okay?' He stretched across the table, his fingers  circling her wrist, his touch wholly clinical but it was like having a  manacle of fire on her wrist. In shocked stupor Lissa found that she was  looking at his mouth; remembering the cool strength of it against her  own that morning. Something approaching faintness seemed to creep over  her. She pulled away from him and tried to stand up, her legs refusing  to support her properly.

Lissa?'

Joel got up too, concerned for her, his eyes, as they always did when he  was worried darkening slightly. She knew so much about him now she  thought hazily, shaking her head, and telling him that she was fine;  little insignificant things she hadn't even known she knew until now  …   like the way the dark hairs grew against his skin  …  the way his eyes  changed colour, betraying him despite the control he seemed to have over  his features. She could even faithfully recall the way he moved, simply  by closing her eyes and picturing him. She was familiar with the  masculine contours of his torso-at least visually. He wore pyjama  bottoms in bed-for her benefit, she was sure, and she hadn't realised  until now how often she had silently studied the hard male lines of his  body. Hot colour touched her skin, scorching it as her thoughts were  scorching her mind.

I'll go and make the coffee,' she said hurriedly.

They had fallen into the habit of continuing the conversation begun over  the dinner table through coffee and often until quite late in the  evening. Joel was interesting to listen to, and he made Lissa feel that  he valued her opinions. She had never enjoyed anyone's company as much  as she enjoyed his and it came to her as she busied herself in the  kitchen that if he were to leave her life now, there would be an acutely  painful void. But the fact that she found him good company and mentally  stimulating did not account for her rapid pulse and accelerated  breathing  …  neither did it account for the disturbing physical response  she had just experienced. She wasn't totally naive; she had felt  physical desire before even if it had only been fleetingly. But this was  different  …  this was Joel. She couldn't desire Joel. Why not, an inner  voice demanded to know? Why shouldn't she desire him? Because  …  because  …   Because what? The same voice jeered. Because you'd convinced yourself  you hated him? Because you resented the fact that as a teenager he found  you totally uninteresting until the night of that party.

Lissa bit down hard on her bottom lip, trying to quell her rebellious  thoughts. It was true, she was forced to acknowledge with painful  honesty, that on the very brief occasions on which she had seen Joel  before that night-and they had been fleeting in the extreme-she had been  instantly struck by the masculine aura he carried about him. Amanda had  caught her staring at him once with rounded eyes and had teased her  about it.

For goodness sake don't go and develop a crush on Joel,' she had warned her. He eats little girls like you for breakfast.'

Unwilling to follow her thoughts any further, Lissa made the coffee and  carried it through into the sitting room. Joel was reading a farming  magazine which he put down to take the tray from her, asking briefly,  Okay now?'