Sinful Desires Vol. 4(7)

“It's beautiful,” I said as I held it to my nose and stepped back, motioning for him to come inside. “I don't have anywhere for you to sit.”

“That's okay,” he said, looking around as I went into the kitchen to fill up the vase.

I wanted to put the flower in the living room so I could see it when I first came in, but the downside of not having furniture meant the only place I could put it was on the counter in the kitchen. When I came back in the living room, he was standing at the front window, looking out into the street.

“No curtains?” he asked.

“They're a little low on my priority list.” I picked up my purse and draped a wrap over it. Anastascia had insisted on the piece of matching hunter green silk. It was the first weekend in September, so it was still warm, bordering on hot, but there was always the chance of a chill.

He offered me his arm at the top of the stairs even though it was narrow and I took it gratefully. The shoes were new, which meant I was still getting used to them. The last thing I wanted to do was face-plant coming down my steps.

When we reached the end of the street, a car was waiting. That wasn't surprising, I hadn't been thinking we were going to walk to the event. Instead of it being Julien's BMW, however, it was a limo. I glanced at him and he shrugged.

“Easy way to make my parents happy.”

As we climbed into the backseat, I finally asked the question that had been popping up in my mind since he'd asked me to go with him. “If you don't mind me asking, why are we going to a charity event? I thought you were the black sheep of the family.” I kept my tone teasing. “All about being against the system.”

He smiled at me as he settled into his seat. He stayed far enough away that we weren't touching, but not so far that the distance was insulting. “Most of the time I am, but my parents and I have an understanding. They support a few charities that are important to me, and those are the events I'll go to without question, and I'll play the good son. This is one of the few mutual ones we support.”

“So what's the event for?” I felt bad that I hadn't asked before. It honestly hadn't occurred to me that there might be a cause that Julien thought was important.

“Autism awareness.”

“Really?” I couldn't hide my surprise. I'd fully been expecting something like saving whales or cancer research. Those were important, but I hadn't thought of autism as being something on Julien's radar.

“Did you know I had a younger brother?”

I shook my head. I'd always assumed he was an only child.

“Steven,” he said. “I was ten when he was born. He was diagnosed with autism when he was two. It was pretty severe. Doctors said he'd never be able to function in society, that my parents should put him in a home. By the time he was five, they couldn't handle him anymore. His meltdowns were violent. He couldn't bear to be touched, but he also couldn't do anything for himself. Mom wanted to hire in home help, but my dad insisted that they look elsewhere.”

I reached over and took his hand.

“They found a place for him in upstate New York, the best money could buy, of course.” He gave me a bitter smile. “But the money didn't do any good when the place caught on fire two years later. Two nurses died trying to get him out, but they weren’t able to save him.”

“I'm so sorry.” My heart ached for him. Losing my mother had been difficult, but to lose a sibling under such tragic circumstances... I couldn't imagine it.

He squeezed my hand and then let it go. “Thank you.” He cleared his throat. “My parents don't like to talk about him.” His mouth twisted. “My dad pretends like Steven never existed, like he wasn't the one who pushed to send him away. My mom... it hurts her too much and I know she blames my dad.” The tone of his voice told me that it wasn't just Julien's mother who blamed his dad. “Steven's a very private part of our lives.”

I heard what he wasn't saying. Not many people knew about his brother. I wasn't sure how I felt about being one of the few who did. It connected us, created an intimacy I wasn’t ready for us to have. But I realized how selfish that was and patted his hand, giving it a squeeze.

“I also support one for the arts, and another for underprivileged youth.” He brought the conversation back around before I could overanalyze things. “Though my idea of art and my parents' ideas of art aren't exactly the same.”

I chuckled, as I was clearly meant to do and the strange tension between us eased. “Now I need to know what you consider art, because some of that abstract stuff, I just don't get.”

I may not have been rich, but I'd gone to a prestigious enough school that our art classes were more about Monet and Van Gogh than about actually getting our hands dirty with the art work ourselves. One of the few things I'd enjoyed about St. George was their insistence in taking the students on as many trips to museums and galleries as possible. My passion may have been dance, but I appreciated many forms of creativity.

Our art discussion kept us engaged until we reached the event venue. I couldn't stop myself from staring like a little kid. The Mansion at Noble Lane was the kind of place where a kid like me would've daydreamed about getting married. Once an actual home, the mansion sprawled out in front of us and it was hard to imagine that people had actually lived here long ago. While it was mostly known for being a wedding venue, I supposed that, with enough money, it could be rented for other events as well. With twenty-two acres, it wasn't like it had a shortage of room for a massive number of guests.

“I didn't realize we were coming here,” I said as Julien took my hand to help me out of the car. “I've always wanted to see it up close.”

“Well, now you can say you have,” he said as he hooked my arm through his.

We followed several other couples who'd also just arrived, walking along a well-lit path that lead around to the back where massive tents had been set up. The weather was perfect, the air cooling off a bit as the sun started to go down. The surrounding trees offered a breeze that was neither too strong nor too weak. I didn't think they could've gotten a better day if they'd been able to pay for it.

“You've got to be kidding me.” Rebecca's voice easily carried across the lawn.

I turned toward her, a plastic smile already on my face. She glared at me as I gave her a little wave. Her knuckles whitened around the stem of the champagne glass she was holding and I secretly hoped it would snap. Any amusement I got out of that was lost when my gaze locked on to movement behind Rebecca and saw Brock standing there. Our eyes met for a moment and then he quickly looked away, his cheeks turning a dark enough shade of red that I could see it from where I was standing.

“I'd like you to meet my parents,” Julien said. One corner of his mouth quirked up in a half-smile. “But, don't worry, I already told them we were just friends.”

I loved his thoughtfulness; that I didn't even have time to get anxious about what they'd think before he was setting my mind at ease. I'd been a bit worried that it'd be uncomfortable going to this thing with Julien, concerned that it'd put some sort of expectation on us both. I wasn't feeling pressure at all.

As he led me past a small knot of people, I heard a sharp intake of air and knew, without even looking, that it was Reed. I kept my head facing front and didn't even hesitate in my step. I was planning on talking to him later if I could get him alone and thank him for my gift. It was the least I could do since it was changing my future, but now wasn't the time.

Julien's parents were friendly enough, though that was probably more because I wasn't trying to snag their son than it was them actually liking me. As long as they didn't start acting like I was a gold-digger or call girl, it was a step up from previous times I'd met parents on this side of the continent.

“Let's find our seats,” Julien said as his father excused himself to officially start the event.

Tables had been set up in a circle around a large space I could only assume was a dance floor. We made our way to one of the tables closest to the podium and I saw Julien's name and a plus one. Unfortunately, I also saw Britni and Reed's names at the same table. Suddenly, the evening wasn't looking like much fun.

Fortunately, the other people at our table were nice enough and they either didn't sense the subtle tension or were too polite to comment on it. Reed and I did our best not to speak or even look at each other and Julien helped with that. Once the meal portion of the evening was over, Britni excused herself to the restroom and the other couples wandered off to mingle or whatever it was rich people did at these things. That left Reed, Julien and me alone at the table.

I glanced at Julien. I might not get another chance to tell Reed I was sorry, but I wasn't sure how to ask Julien to leave, especially since he knew there was history between us. Julien caught my eye and nodded, understanding in his gaze. It amazed me how well he could read my emotions and thoughts.

“If you'll both excuse me. I need to visit the restroom.” He smiled down at me. “I'll be back in a few minutes.”

I looked over at Reed and saw that he was already watching me. I couldn't read his expression though and in the dim lighting, his eyes were jet-black.

“I owe you an apology,” I began. His eyebrows rose, but that was all the reaction I got. I kept going. I'd practiced this speech ever since Julien had invited me tonight. I knew it was the only chance I'd have to say it. “When you showed up at my place in Vegas, I'd literally just found out about what Brock had done and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have done that.”