“This is my best friend Carter, Sean.” She tilted her head to the guy who suddenly stepped from behind her, the guy I’d paid absolutely no attention to. “Carter, this is Sean. My boyfriend.”
“Your what?”
“My boyfriend.”
“Nice to meet you.” Sean extended his hand to me, and I forced myself to shake it. “Do you mind if you let us in? I really need to lie down. We had a terrible flight, flying back in coach all the way here.”
I opened my door wider, letting them in— keeping my eyes on Ari as she gave Sean a kiss on his cheek. Right in front of me. Right in fucking front of me.
“The bathroom is down that hall and to your left,” she said, smiling at him. “Oh, and I guess these pillows and blankets are for us. You want blue or green?”
“Green.” He kissed her on the cheek and walked away. “I’ll be right back.”
What. The. Fuck… “Ari…” I walked over to her and she ignored me, unfolding the blankets and setting up the pillows. “Ari…I know you hear me talking to you.”
“I hear you.”
“Is this Sean thing a joke? After all this time, are you playing a prank on me?”
“Why would someone fly from France to America as a joke? He really is my boyfriend.”
“When did that happen?”
“About a month ago.” She looked confused. “Didn’t you get my letter?”
“This one?” I held up the one I’d just received today.
“No…” she said. “There was another one…”
“I would believe that, but you don’t have the best track record with sending me shit. Did you get mine?”
“The one about hoping to see me and hang out again someday? Or, was it the one that said, say something—anything, Ari? Please?”
“No…Not that one. Although, I must say it’s good to know you were actually fucking reading what I wrote.”
“Could you not curse at me like that?” She crossed her arms. “I haven’t been home for five minutes and you’re snapping at me?”
“I’m not snapping at you...I’m trying to figure out how you can literally go to another country for months, stop talking to me for no reason at all, and when you finally come back, not only do you not tell me in advance, but the first time that I see you again, you’re dating someone else.”
“Someone else implies that you and I were once dating, that we were in some type of intimate relationship…” She narrowed her eyes at me. “And I had a really good reason for not talking to you.”
“Care to share it?”
“Not particularly. “She looked like she was trying to stay as calm as possible. “We weren’t dating, Carter. We were just friends, remember?”
I felt my blood pressure rising, but I said nothing. Instead I looked her over again—trying to figure out who she was right now. This wasn’t the Arizona I knew at all.
“This is a really nice place, Carter.” Sean walked into the room. “Do you own this?”
“Yes.” I kept my eyes on Ari.
Ari’s eyes met mine. “It’s nice that you set up the couch for us.”
“I didn’t. You can sleep in my bed.”
“Really?” Sean smiled, clearly misinterpreting that my offer was only for Ari. “How nice, man. I’ll put our stuff in there later tonight. Is that your room on the right?”
“It is…” I couldn’t believe this shit. The second he walked away to check it out, I glared at Ari. “I need to talk to you right now.”
“I don’t think so.” She shrugged. “I’d be more than happy to talk to you over dinner later today, though. I want to take Sean to Gayle’s. I already texted Josh and he’s agreed to meet us there at six. You interested?”
“I need to talk to you alone.”
“If I have time while I’m here…” She sat on the couch and fluffed a pillow. “I’ll think about it. Can you hit the light please?”
“Ari…”
She stood up and hit the light herself, returning to the couch. “It’s nice seeing you again, Carter. You look really good. Happy.”
“I’m not happy…”
“Well, I am.” She gave me a look that said, ‘go away’ and it took everything inside of me not to turn the light back on and pull her up, to make her listen to what I had to say.
To prevent myself from losing my shit, I went into the guest room and slammed the door shut.
Track 29. I Wish You Would (3:44)
I couldn’t breathe.