Sincerely, Carter(40)

My dad’s will reading is over. (It’s rude to leave your only son and cheat on your wife…)

I’m more than okay.

Sincerely,

Carter



Subject: Re: Re: Re: Basketball tryouts.

Where are you?

Still hoping you’re okay,

Arizona



Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Basketball Tryouts

In my room.

I told you I was okay already. (Trust me.)

Sincerely,

Carter

I put my phone on silent and leaned back on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Today had been one of the worst days of my life, so I was lining up things to make tomorrow better: I was going to have sex after school with my girlfriend if she wasn’t still upset with me for not telling her why I hadn’t been to school for the past three days. (I refused to talk about my family with anyone.) I was also going to go back to my favorite sketchy tattoo parlor and get another tattoo on the inside of my arm—some type of tree so I could add onto it for years to come. Then, I’d probably need to spend some time with Arizona at the end of the day. Being around her always made things better for some reason.

I grabbed my white earbuds from the nightstand and placed them into my ears, shutting my eyes and drifting to sleep.

Or, so I thought.

Just as my favorite album began to play, one of the earbuds was ripped from my ear, and a blur of pink and purple crawled over me and took over the left side of my bed.

Arizona.

“What the hell are you doing?” I narrowed my eyes at her. “Did my mom let you in?”

“You really think that?” She dangled a silver bracelet in front of my face. “I told you I made a copy of your house key in shop class months ago. Your mom is passed out on the couch…”

“Of course she is…” I said. “Well, I need to be alone so I can think. So, no offense, but I don’t really want your goddamn company right now, and since you had to literally break into my house to even see me, I’m going to ask you to leave.”

“Okay.” She stared at me, blinking. Then she put my left earbud into her ear and reclined against my pillows.

“Did you hear what I said, Arizona? Do I need to repeat it?”

“I heard you perfectly,” she said, motioning for me to lie back down next to her. “You said you were going to ask me to leave because you don’t want my company. So, when you actually ask me to leave, I will…”

Her eyes met mine and I knew she could tell that I was far from okay, that I was an emotional wreck today, and that I did really want her to stay.

Instead of fighting the facts, I lay next to her and put the other earbud in my right ear. “You being here today and seeing me like this didn’t happen.”

“It never does…”





Track 12. The Moment I Knew (4:09)



I stood in Arizona’s kitchen the morning after we’d had sex, brewing a fresh cup of coffee. Two of her roommates, Jenny and Heather, were standing across from me—waiting for the timer to sound.

“You know you can technically get coffee as it’s brewing right?” I asked, noticing that they were staring at my chest.

“I’m aware.” Jenny blushed. “Just waiting like you are…”

“I actually did not know that…” Heather stepped forward and held her mug under the coffee machine. “Learn something new every day. Just in case I don’t see her today, will you tell Arizona to pick up some dish soap when she wakes up? It’s her turn.”

“I will.” I nodded.

The timer went off and Jenny stepped forward, deliberately rubbing her mug against my chest before holding it under the coffee machine. “Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.” She laughed.

“Anyway,” Heather said, ignoring Jenny. “In addition to the dish soap, could you also tell her to get us some more coffee? It’s her turn for that, too.”

“Noted.” I noticed Jenny was still touching me. “Don’t you need to get to work?”

She blushed again and stepped back. “Whenever you want me to leave my boyfriend for you, just say the word. Say the word…”

“I won’t.” I laughed.

“You will.” She sipped her coffee and headed toward the door, laughing back. “I’ll be awaiting that phone call!”

I waited for them to leave, made sure the car had revved up and pulled out of the driveway before I sat down.

My mind immediately attempted to process what the hell had happened last night in a series of frames: Movie. Laughter. Uninterrupted Kiss. Sex. Sex with Arizona. Sex again with Arizona. Sex with my best friend for as long as I could fucking remember, Arizona…

“Morning.” She walked into the kitchen wearing a plush white robe, avoiding my eyes.